I can't do this...

I've done bedrest for 7 days now and I can't do this!

FIrst it hurts to lay down, and second I can't sit around and do nothing. But my biggest problem- the person helping me. I hate to say it, it's so wonderful that she is here helping! I should be greatful! And it's not even her fault, she is trying to help out the best she can. And I feel like Im being soooo ungreatful... but...

I'm at my breaking point though. Im sorta a neat freak. Mopping is what you do during the week between getting down on your hands and knees on the weekend to clean the floors. There is NEVER a dirty dish just laying around. Laundery is in the basket, dresser or washing machine- no where else. You get the idea. When my house is messy my skin itches, and I start to actually have panic attacks. I just want to start yelling. I love my mom and we are very close, but she doesn't clean. Her dishes can sit on the counter for days before she touches them, her house always stinks like cats, good luck finding a counter, she can't throw anything away. Again, you get the idea. So when Im kissing the kids goodnight and the breakfest dishes are still on the counter, or you can't see the clean clothes from the dirty ones I lose it! Not only that, but the TV goes on at night, no sooner. So letting the kids just sit around ALL day watching TV (with dirty faces and clothers) I think is uncalled for. We do art projects everyday and learn new things. We do fun activities and go outside for walks. And here I am, just laying around, crying my eyes out because there is total craziness all around me. I can't take care of my children or my home. Im venting, and I know how silly this might sound, but only a week into this and I want to quit!! NOW!!!

I just don't know if I can do this.

 

:hug: I am sorry that you are having a rough time. Have you tried talking to your mom about how you feel? Bedrest is incredibly hard, but you are very lucky to have help. Just try to remember why you are doing this bedrest and maybe that will put things into perspective and dirty dishes won't seem so important anymore. I wish you the best. Good Luck!

 

You CAN do this! I haven't seen my house in 18 days and can only imagine what DH's idea of "clean" is. Bed rest is the most important thing you can give your babies right now. More important than the laundry, dishes or mopped floor. It's been 13 weeks for me now and it was so hard at first. You just have to remember that the chores can wait and the babies are most important.

Hang in there lady! Big :hug: s to you!

 

I feel your pain...I was on bed rest for 28 weeks of my 33 week pregnancy...it was not fun....My home was a wreck, between my husband and two teenagers, I just don't know what to say! Just know that you are not on bedrest forever.....can you enlist in your husbands support? Maybe have a list of things that need to be done each day.

I wish you the very best and please know we are all here for you to vent to anytime!

 

I too was on bedrest from week 28 to almost 34 weeks. When my house is messy my skin crawls too. I don't know how I got through it. Just trying to talk to dh and my mom and they helped try to keep things in order. Sorry I know it totally sucks!

 

Hunni, I totally understand what you mean! This is my Day4 bedrest and I'm already going crazy! I thought i felt a sacral sore coming up from all the lying down, and getting up to go to the loo is a task. Doesn't help that my new helper is NEW, and cos she's a foreigner, she can barely understand half of what I say. I'm going nuts!

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Nov 14 2008, 08:50 PM) [snapback]1071253[/snapback]
I feel your pain...I was on bed rest for 28 weeks of my 33 week pregnancy...it was not fun....My home was a wreck, between my husband and two teenagers, I just don't know what to say! Just know that you are not on bedrest forever.....can you enlist in your husbands support? Maybe have a list of things that need to be done each day.

I wish you the very best and please know we are all here for you to vent to anytime!



He is still out to sea but should be home by the end of the month! And yes, he is such a help, it will be better when he gets home.

I guess this mentally more challenging then I thought it would be.

Thanks for listening though.

 

QUOTE(mollyjm+2 @ Nov 14 2008, 09:44 PM) [snapback]1071287[/snapback]
He is still out to sea but should be home by the end of the month! And yes, he is such a help, it will be better when he gets home.

I guess this mentally more challenging then I thought it would be.

Thanks for listening though.



I think mental is the biggest battle! You're growing babies. Dishes don't matter when you are literally choosing between life or death for your little ones. However, when they are tucked snuggly in your belly it's easy to let your mind wander to the outside world and see dirty dishes and un-scrubbed floors. Just know this: Today is not the last day dishes will linger and floor grime will build-up. This is motherhood and you are doing an amazing job at it so far. Congrats to you on successfully laying flat on your back and passing the first test! This is just the beginning of altering what's really important to you. Mom's hanging out and making sure you're ok...that's a gift. Scrubbed floors...more of a detail. I'll take the gifts over the details any day. You laying in bed to make sure your babies are safe...a gift. Thank your mom for showing you how it's done! And, cut yourself some slack.

 

I had a similar experience with my mom while I was on bedrest. We didn't struggle over the mess, but she is a finish-line-oriented person, and my older DD is, like most children, is a journey-oriented person. My DD and my mom do not get along well b/c my mom is always rushing her. So while I was supposed to be "resting," I had to listen to their constant bickering, knowing I could do little to ease the tension.

Just remember: THIS IS TEMPORARY!!! Keep telling yourself that. Make it your new mantra. I know it's hard to take it to heart when there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but those babies won't live inside you forever. Do what you can to keep them where they belong for as long as you can - even if it means your skin crawls in the process. (Motherhood is sacrifice, right? )

Meanwhile, :hug: I hope you're able to become a little desensitized to the mess. If not, can you afford a house keeper once a week?

 

:hug: I'm sorry. That would be hard, especially when the end seems a long time from now. The pp's have given good advice. I hope, too, that you can become a bit desensitized to the mess, as hard as that may be. Hope the days fly till your hubby is home and then till your twins are born at a healthy gestation! And hmm I wonder if you mentioned to your mom that you're thinking about getting a housekeeper, if she would take the hint and clean up at least a little bit more? :hug:

 

QUOTE(Schmoopy @ Nov 15 2008, 04:50 AM) [snapback]1071380[/snapback]
I had a similar experience with my mom while I was on bedrest. We didn't struggle over the mess, but she is a finish-line-oriented person, and my older DD is, like most children, is a journey-oriented person. My DD and my mom do not get along well b/c my mom is always rushing her. So while I was supposed to be "resting," I had to listen to their constant bickering, knowing I could do little to ease the tension.

Just remember: THIS IS TEMPORARY!!! Keep telling yourself that. Make it your new mantra. I know it's hard to take it to heart when there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but those babies won't live inside you forever. Do what you can to keep them where they belong for as long as you can - even if it means your skin crawls in the process. (Motherhood is sacrifice, right? )

Meanwhile, :hug: I hope you're able to become a little desensitized to the mess. If not, can you afford a house keeper once a week?


You know what is so funny, I have given the very same words of encouragment to other bedresting moms. I know dishes are for a day but the babies are for life.
I've thought about a house keeper, if the holidays weren't comeing up it would be easier. I even made a few phone calls to price it out but no one called back. I might relook into it. Even if they came once or twice between now and then end, maybe I would feel better just knowing they were on their way.
As mom, you just know what your kids need better then anyone, and it's soo hard to not provide for them.
Im just greatful for the outlit we have here. If this wasn't here I might be throwing the dishes instead of trying to ignore them!

 

oh hun i feel you
i was on bed rest from 16weeks on , i was admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks i had my singleton at 36weeks.
when i got home from 1week after having him i spent 3hrs cleaning before i could relax

my only advice is to put ultra sound pictures up all over your house so everwhere you look you see your babies and know why you are doing this. you can hire a clearer once aweek. or what i tried and worked until my husband was alone with the my other kid for a month, i wrote out a daily list of stuff to be done, no where near what i would do but satisfactory, my husband learned to load the dishwasher before and after work. start the washer before work and my help would switch it over during the day
vacuming would happen when i would ask if she had time today if she could do it.
i now you feel gratefull because they are helping. try to take it easy, the sttress wont help you out, you dont want to be admitted.
good luck i hope it goes fast for you

 

:hug: Hang in there!! When two newborns in the house, you'll have to lower your standards for awhile anyway. Try to focus on the big picture and baking those babies!!

 

Hi there,
It's so hard to feel so out of control and dependent on others while you are on bed rest. I was on BR from week 24 to 36. I was pretty miserable, too. I would just try to set little goals for myself. I was always so happy to make it to bedtime and know one more day had past. Saturday was my weekly count date, so I could count one more week. It's so hard to imagine right now, but every day you make it is better for the health of your babies. You can do it. I'm sorry it's so difficult. Vent away!!
Beth

 

I'm sorry ..... ((hug))

 

Molly

I am so sorry and want to give you a big Hug! I know it is hard but please try not to stress out over the house. Soon you wont even care nor have much time while taking care of two newborns. Have you spoken with your Mom about your feelings?

I think your housekeeper thought is a great idea, I work full time m-f 9 to 5 and the last thing I want to do when I come home is clean house. I do pick up and do the little things but I have a housekeeper that comes in on Weds and she is fantastic. She is very affordable too. She does the deep cleaning so I don't have to scrub the floors and toilets. But it is just my DS and I here through the week so it doesn't get very messy anyway. She came well referred and I wouldn't trust anyone I didn't know. Do you know anyone that has a housekeeper that could refer them to you? GL you don't have too much longer. Although I am not on bedrest (sometimes wish I was so I could make myself slow down) I feel for you Hun!

 

:hug:

 

QUOTE(MissyEby @ Nov 14 2008, 11:50 PM) [snapback]1071253[/snapback]
I feel your pain...I was on bed rest for 28 weeks of my 33 week pregnancy...it was not fun....My home was a wreck, between my husband and two teenagers, I just don't know what to say! Just know that you are not on bedrest forever.....can you enlist in your husbands support? Maybe have a list of things that need to be done each day.

I wish you the very best and please know we are all here for you to vent to anytime!

Hi! I see u delievered at 33 weeks. I am carrying very low and am on bedrest. At my last visit oct 30 (28weeks) i was already 40% effaced but not dialated. My cervix is 3.5 cm long which they say is great. but since last tuesday I have been very crampy, pressure on the pelvic area(they are very very low) and back pain off and on. Today I cant even sit up in bed without contractions or camps. I called the perinatologist and they say as long as i am not having cramping or pressure laying down or contractions I am ok. So basically I have to lay down all day!!! Anyway, my reason for writing you, and sorry it is taking so long is I am thinking these babies wont make it to 36 weeks. I see that your babies came early and I was wondering what symptoms were you experiencing before they came? Thanks for any input, and to anyone else who would like to post