I called the DR.

I finally swallowed my pride and called the dr. about the issues with Jack napping - or should I say, not napping - at all, day after day, week after week.

The nurse kindly listened to my plight and gently assured me that her oldest daughter stopped napping at 13 months and since she was getting 12 hrs. overnight she just let her give it up. She said that since Jack does 7:30pm-7:30am at night, he is going to be just fine without his nap and perhaps I should try some nice quiet time on the couch with him reading books instead of napping.

HAS SHE LOST HER MIND, IS SHE INSANE? There is no way I am going to spend the one hour that I may have to myself while Lily is sleeping reading with Jack on the couch. I love him, but no way. So, I guess I have to accept that he may be done napping ( at 19 mos?????) but I am still determined to put him in that crib for an hour. He is really pretty good natured even without the nap so, even thought it is quite odd he would jump one day from regularly taking a nap lasting from 1pm -4pm to actually no nap at all for weeks, I guess I have to accept it. I sort of feel like I was short-changed, honestly. Anyway, maybe he will get tired one day...

in the meantime, Jack continuously surprises me with his understanding of the situation, most notable include:

When you ask him about not taking his nap, or if he will nap tomorrow, he will reply very matter of factly "No more." It is like he understands it is something he used to do but it is no longer a part of his life.
Also, when I get him out of the crib after his hour long stand in, he immediatly says "Lily?". This is what he says when is asking where she is. I always respond, "she is sleeping", to which he usually replies "No more." Today; however, our exchange went like this:

Jack - "Lily?"
Me - "She is sleeping"
Jack - taking his hand and patting himself on the chest, "I don't".

And it went on like this for about 10 minutes while he consistently asked where LIly was, I replied the same, and he pounded his chest and declared that "I don't" nap.
He then followed this by running over to the stairs and calling up "lily, Lily!" before I grabbed him and ran outside with him before he could wake her up too!

Oh well, not much I can do except promise to you wonderfully patient ladies that I will not post again about my nap woes for at least a week! Thank you for your support during what I think may be the worst realization of my life - MY 19 mos. old SON (who was always my good sleeper) MAY BE DONE NAPPING !

 

I always told the babies (and still do) "I don't care if you fall asleep, but you need to be in your crib, laying quietly for an hour." Of course, I'm not sure if two 4 month olds understand that, but I always felt better saying it.

 

oh I feel your pain! 3 of my 4 sons gave up naps by 18 months... NOT PRETTY! but I totally had to smile at your little conversation with him.. how sweet is he!
and not only is he up.. but you've got to keep him quiet so he doesn't wake up Lily... now THAT would be hard in and of itself...
feel free to vent to us anytime (even if it's before another week - LOL)... we're here!

 

Oh - you have my sympathies!! If it helps, my 4 1/2 still does quiet time in her room everyday. She goes in H&N's room with me to put them down for their nap and then we go in her room, I read her one book and she has a music tape she has to listen to that is 45 min long. She does fall asleep about one day a week , but I don't let her sleep too long because it messes her up at bedtime and she really looks forward to her Mommytime while her sisters are asleep.

Since she knows she is done when her music tape is over she doesn't ask to get up during it or how much longer she has or anything like that. I would keep him doing a quiet time at least until Lily stops napping.

BTW - the "I don't" story is precious - it may not seem that way to you right now though! Do you journal or scrapbook? That is one to document

 

Ugh! So frustrating. Sorry.

 

Wow, now that's a conversation I bet you'll never forget! I don't have any experience in a situation like this but maybe you can find a quiet activity for him to do in his room alone during naptime.

 

I would keep trying. Kids can go through the craziest phases, and then end up back on track after a while. IMO, he is too young to give up naps! That nurse IS crazy to think that he will just kick back and relax on the couch for an hour while you get some stuff done!

 

This scares the living daylights out of me.

 

My friend went through this with her DD and she just kept at it and she finally started napping again. I am not saying it works for everyone but I remember how frustrating it was for her!

 

My (just turned) 5 year old still has quiet time in his room on days when he is home. He asks for it! He still has nap time at preschool, so why not at home? He went through a phase when he was about 2 when he did not nap for about a month then he went right back to a 2.5 to 3 hour nap for another year and a half. I would not give up on the nap or quiet time idea. He may not nap anymore, but you can still have your down time and him too. At his age and for a long time yet, they need some down time, sleeping or not! I let my oldest have crayons, paper,books and music during his quiet time. It really helps all of us! Good luck no matter what happens.

Kelly

 

I want to cry. For you. And maybe a bit for me, too. I think this is what's up with Jacob, too. I can't believe this. We've had some form of nap hell from the day these guys were about 3 months old. Despite firm devotion to HSHHC, I've never had that reliable, predictable, relieving nap period-- just tons of screaming with 20 minutes of sleep here, 45 minutes there... I, too, feel really cheated! Ugh. Oh well... guess it's time to move on and accept that we will never have a break again. Ahhhhhhhh!!!

I truly admire you working from home in the midst of this insanity. I would have a really hard time doing it-- I barely get anything done, and I am just a SAHM.

Good luck implementing quiet time with Jack. I'm trying to get Jake to accept the concept, but he is a stubborn little guy.

BIG HUGS!! Hang in there, momma.

 

My middle son never napped during the day from DAY 1 home from the hospital. The only nap he got was in the car and that was only until it stopped. He woke up immediately. The Dr told me the same thing that the nurse told you. He's just not a napper. Well, sometime after maybe 15-16 months he slowly started sleeping a tiny bit. But he never really napped well. He however was great at night. How could I complain? LOL I started putting a small portable DVD player in his room to occupy him while his older brother napped. It worked and I had a small amount of time to clean and pickup.

However horrible it may sound, we now do that with the twins. If they wake up, they watch the show in their crib. I make them stay there for at least 2 hrs total. I just have to have some time to homeschool the older boys. I say do whatever it takes to have that quiet time in the middle of the day. We do instrumental music at night and they love it. HUGS

 

I know my daughters are older than your two but I am in a similiar situation. My one DD who was the best sleeper and napper ever, decided to stop napping in December (before turning 26 months old). She is still put in her crib at the same time as her sister. The majority of the time, she just plays, talks to herself or whatever. I think 3 times in a month she has had a nap.

I would make sure that you still put him in his crib and give him quiet time. All young children need some quiet time in the afternoon to take a break from all the playing, learning etc. Do you have toys or books in the crib for him? One of my very experienced day care provider friends told me that she used to always send a book with those who didn't nap. She insisted that they have "quiet time". She said some of them would play or read a book. Others would start to read a book and this is what put them to sleep.

Take care and stick with it. This could be a phase. If he never naps again, try to at least give him some quiet time.

 

I've been following your posts. Jake & Josh had their 1 year appointment yesterday. She asked about their sleep and I told her my issues. If I put them down after 3 hours of wake time, Josh will talk and Jake will sleep. Come the afternoon nap it's the reverse. She told me that by 1 year they should only be taking one nap a day and by 2 years "most" kids will give up their nap completly.

I'm working on the one nap a day, but only one more year of naps....please say it ain't so!!

 

:hug: Much sympathy, no advice.

 

I've been reading about your struggles too. :grouphug: I think I would go crazy if one of mine stopped napping. It's so crazy that he is making the choice not to nap! I really think he is doing it consciously from the "conversations" that you've had with him. He's one smart cookie! If I were you, I'd put him in his crib for a one hour quiet time. You could leave the lights on and give him toys to place with. Since he seems pretty coherent, you could even tell him that it's not a nap, just quiet time, and he doesn't have to sleep but he does have to be quiet. Hopefully before too long, he'll want to nap again.

Hmm, I just had another idea. What if you made him go to bed earlier since he doesn't nap. You could explain to him that if he naps like DD, then he gets to stay up late. But for kids who don't nap, they go to bed earlier. That might mess up his nighttime sleep though, and I know you don't want to do that!

 

So maybe I should have read THIS post before the post about the overnight stay....YES to the overnight stay...YES YES YES! You poor thing. I can not imagine a day with no nap. It seriously sounds like a nightmare. I love these guys to pieces as you do yours, but that time to myself while they nap is an absolute must if I intend to stay sane. You need that break. Take it.

 

You never know, maybe he just wants that time with Mommy all to himself?! It's so hard to get to spend time with one of them at a time, I'd treasure having that one on one time with him.

 

:hug: OH SO SORRY!!! I think you should continue to expect quiet time (that nurse doesn't have twins, does she?) and when he's tuckered out he'll sleep and when he's not, he won't! You set the expectation and don't waiver!!! :hug:

 

My DD stopped napping around then, too. I still continued to put her in her crib for 1 - 1 1/2 hours. Sometimes she would fall asleep - maybe once or twice a week. Otherwise, she would just play quietly until I came to get her. It was frustrating. But that's just the way she decided to do it.

 

QUOTE(MommyMelissa @ Jan 9 2009, 08:27 PM) [snapback]1140170[/snapback]
You never know, maybe he just wants that time with Mommy all to himself?! It's so hard to get to spend time with one of them at a time, I'd treasure having that one on one time with him.



me too, if I did not work full-time from home. !

 

We're going through a similar situation. I think mine were keeping each other up. I put one in the playroom today in a pack'n'play, and voila, they both slept. They had been fighting naps for about 2 weeks. I'm not ready to give them up at 27 months -- there's no way I would've been happy with giving it up at 19 months. Maybe it's just a phase. He might surprise you next week and fall in love with naps again.

 

What an intelligent little boy you have!!! I would almost bet it has got to be a phase. I have never heard of a 19 mo. old not napping anymore. GL to you and will pray your little boy decides to change his "I don't" to an "I do"!

 

You could start keeping them up 1 hour later. It would take a while though to see if it works and you could end up making things worse. If he stays in his crib quietly for an hour (sorry this is the first post I've read in a while), that's great. It could be so much worse. Your daughter sleeps 3 hours and also 12 hours overnight! Wow, that is great.

My duo are 3 and if they nap it is late like 3:30-5pm and then they don't go to sleep until after 10pm, and are up around 8am, but never STTN.


Stacy

 

QUOTE(ahmerl @ Jan 10 2009, 01:04 AM) [snapback]1140466[/snapback]
me too, if I did not work full-time from home. !


Oooooh, yeah, that would be hard. Like other people have said, maybe it's just a phase, and maybe he'll decide he likes to nap again eventually.

 

Oh, no! Sorry to hear this! My guys are and have always been TERRIBLE nappers. I have a feeling I will be in the same situation soon. They sleep beautifully from 6pm-6am but naps....are ugly.

 

Hmmmmmmm i am still holding onto hope for you. Our boys sound alot alike (except thank god he has not given his nap up yet) and i think that this too shall pass. I would be HORRIFIED without naps and i work full time so i dont feel like the lone ranger. Hang in there and i look forward to an update... Did you ask the nurse if she had twins? LOL...

 

ACK!

I would lose it, I really would.

My Ryan went through a no-nap phase. When it was time to go down, I let them each choose a couple board books to look through while they had time in their cribs. For a few days, he just sang to himself up there (Matt, of course, was passed out.) After a while, he started napping again - thank goodness!

I hope the same happens for you!

 

QUOTE(cjk2002 @ Jan 9 2009, 07:51 AM) [snapback]1139495[/snapback]
I've been following your posts. Jake & Josh had their 1 year appointment yesterday. She asked about their sleep and I told her my issues. If I put them down after 3 hours of wake time, Josh will talk and Jake will sleep. Come the afternoon nap it's the reverse. She told me that by 1 year they should only be taking one nap a day and by 2 years "most" kids will give up their nap completly.

I'm working on the one nap a day, but only one more year of naps....please say it ain't so!!


It ain't so. One kid of 18 in the 2 yr old room at the boys' daycare doesn't nap, and most still nap well in the 3 yr old room and still the majority do in the Pre-K room. Kids stop having nap/quiet time when the parents make it ok. Even if they don't sleep, quiet time will do you (and them good.)