I bit the bullet and now we are officially sleep training...

Ok, so I've been posting trying to figure out what to do about swaddling. The boys are little houdini's and can get out of their swaddles, even with 2 blankets (The miracle blanket and the swaddleme blanket with velcro). I laid them down for their first nap, and within 5 minutes they had both broke free and were crying.. So I was fed up and decided right that second that I'M DONE!

We did CIO with our first son when he was older, but he never was swaddled, he just liked to comfort nurse in the middle of the night, then I was doing the paci shuffle with him... So this time I'm doing it all at once..

I do the whole, let them cry for 10 min go in give paci and lovie, calm down, wait 15 min repeat, 20 min repeat, 30 min repeat, 40 min repeat... Finally after 1 hour and 25 minutes of crying they fell asleep.. they've been asleep 10 minutes and I hear them screaming again..
Now that they woke up how should it look? Do I get them up? Do I start the timing thing all over again? I'm at a loss..

Thanks ladies!

 

I'm right there with you...stopped swaddling and stopped doing the paci shuffle within the last 2 weeks. It was a rough few days and still is rough to some degree. My DD rolls around just fine, but my DS seems not know what to do when he rolls to his belly so he screams bloody murder. No mind you, he rolls around just fine on the floor.

So this is what I do, I put them to bed with their pacis and if it falls out right away, I go give it again. If they cry for it within the first 30 to 45 minutes of sleeping, I will go give it again, give lovey and rub belly for second. After that, No way, no more. I try and soothe if they way within the first 30/45 minutes of sleeping so they fall back sleep and get a good 1 to 1 1/2 hour nap. If they cry, I do not let them cry for more than 1 hour (per healthy sleep habits, happy child book).

I would get them up to preserve your next scheduled nap time...it might be brutal and you may need to push up that nap a bit, but when the naptime is over in our house, it's over...crying or not. We are on a fairly firm schedule.

Good luck to you and me

 

My boys are the same age as yours and I'm in the same boat. I'm running down the "plan" with my nanny this afternoon because she did some sleep training with them today for the first time. My DH was with her... but I want to make sure that I agree with what we are doing exactly. I'll post tomorrow to let you know...

 

They are pretty young to be expected to self-soothe, maybe they aren't quite ready? I know that the sleeplessness and pacifier popping out at all hours are really, really hard, but 1 hr and 25 minutes of crying seems like a long time for 4 - 5 month olds. Have you tried white noise or a swing for nap times?

Hang in there and good luck! :hug:

 

I agree with Jori. That is a long time to let a 4 month old cry. I would get them up now because honestly they have been down for over and hour and a half.

 

We aren't on a schedule, the babies nap when they are tired.. Sometimes that's half an hour, and sometimes it's for 2 hours.. We aren't schedule people, and it works for us better this way..

As for them crying, They aren't crying the entire time.. I go in and sooth them.. They have fallen asleep for 10 minutes, then wake up and cry more.. I got them up right after I posted that last post, and they were up for an hour and a half.. They just finished lunch and a bottle, and went back down.. One cried for 4 minutes and the other cried for 7.. Both are sound asleep now.. Tired boys..

I appreciate all of your feedback!

 

What would be a recommendation for a time limit of crying for this age? I do feel that my boys are young - but have already demonstrated some self soothing. Would you say maybe 30 minutes? or 45 minutes? All with assisted pacifying - I don't believe in total CIO where you close the door and don't go in.

 

Good question.. What is a good time limit, and then if they reach that limit what do you do? I'm there with you that we don't fully CIO, I just can't stand to listen to them for an extended period without going in and soothing them..

 

It's just however long you feel comfortable with. I'm sure different people have different time limits. At the end of the time limit I would try to get them to sleep in any way you can - rocking, swing, etc - if they are fussy. If they are just not tired then I'd just let them up and put them down to play.

From what I remember, when mine didn't nap b/c of crying then usually as soon as I was able to calm them down they'd fall asleep or I'd have to move up the next nap.

 

I know by typing this I'm totally going to be "jinxing" myself.. BUT... Both boys had a bottle, ate dinner, got clean diapers and were put into their bed. I gave them a paci and a lovie and left the room (with the noise machine on). I haven't heard a peep from them!!! It's only been 35 minutes but they haven't even whined once...
NOW, here is hoping to making it through the night with nothing too bad.. With my first son I did the paci shuffle for months, I don't really want to be in that position with the twins, but at this point I'll just be happy to get them sleeping without being swaddled!

 

Hope your guys keep sleeping good tonight!! As for how long to let them cry at that age, I'm not sure as I didn't do CIO until just a couple of months ago. Now I try to wait an hour (with a couple of back rubs in between to reassure them), though there have been times where I've let them cry for 30 minutes straight at nap time with no soothing and at that point I just give up and scoop them up and rock them. But for structured nighttime CIO my limit is an hour (though thankfully they've only ever cried for a max of 40-45 min). For a 4 month old I probably wouldn't let them cry for more than 30 minutes, even with periodic checks every 5-10 minutes. GL!