I am so tired of needing help

I remember the days prior to kids...I never needed help doing anything! Now I feel like I can't survive without help, I am totally dependent on other people to help keep me sane! I hate it! I loved being totally indepedant, I loved not needing to ask for help (or at least rarely asking for help)...now I feel like a help-sponge...anyone who wants to help out, I accept the offer (assuming they are competent and breathing!). Does this ever change

 

Ohmigosh, I totally know how you feel! I so get it! I am used to doing everything for myself as well, to the point of being really stubborn about it. It makes me wonder if this is God/The Universe/Whatever you beleive in's way of teaching us the lesson that no woman is an island. I was very stubborn and proud. I never needed anyone for anything, and like you, I now have to take it where I can get it.
I find it frustrating, and I find that it makes me feel less competent. I hate it too-I'm trying to see it as a life lesson, but it is really hard. I totally understand.

X
Becky

 

I felt like a total skeeze yesterday because I've been letting the yard accumulate mass amounts of leaves, so when I got home two of my neighbors were out there raking and bagging it.

I think having babies is a way of us realizing that we're not totally invincible. If you think back to "ye olden times" communities were much more giving, and some people still want to live that life.

 

It gets better. Especially when they are a little more self sufficient. You can do things around them while they play together not just when they are sleeping! You still need to find someone to watch them if you need to have time to yourself or go somewhere they can not go, which still drives me crazy because you still feel like you are always asking for help, but day to day it is easier.

 

It gets better, but there's always going to be times here and there where you'll need help. Planning things in the evenings seems to work best for me, and it gets me out of the house without having to inconvenience other people. Now that the boys are more independent and can play longer without me being right on top of them all the time, I do manage to get more done. The weekends are full with me catching up on things (mostly laundry) too.

The biggest thing I've learned with having twins is that people WANT to help. If they didn't, they wouldn't offer.

 

Hold on. Someday soon you will be able to go out without packing a suitcase full of things. And you'll have 4 little hands wanting to help mommy (though that usually makes more work in the end, but I try to make helping seem fun so that they keep doing it and learning to do it well.)

You can also move to Mexico. A full time house keeper goes for about 50 dollars a week.

 

Yup! That was the hardest part for me! I HATED when I couldn't do it by myself. It gets easier, I promise. And it feels SOOO much better now. THere are still things I won't try alone, but there are more and more things I can do.

 

Around 18 months is when I felt much more independent, meaning I felt I could take the kids anywhere by myself and not worry about losing it! Before then it depended on the circumstances but for many activities I needed someones (often dh's) help. For me once they are walking and talking well the world opened up again