I am so tired of being noticed (long vent)

O.K. Our twins are six weeks old. We are not a family that stays home all the time. I get really depressed if I have to sit at home nursing all day.

Well, we grocery shop every two weeks. Today I had my six week check up and then we went shopping. The two older kids were in school so it was just the babies and me.

Well, when I went to my MD appointment it didn't really bother me. The questions, "How do you do it?" "How do the older kids like the babies?" I didn't mind that - I know the people at the MD's office. Well, then we hit Meijers. Well, I knew it would be super busy since it is only five days until the big day. I was ready for that. I knew I was going to have to two cart it - babies in one groceries in the next - I did that when my oldest two were little, but I was so tired of the comments. Every eisle someone said something. I didn't mind the elderly people asking how old they were and saying how cute they were. That didn't bother me, but I got so tired of, "Oh are you brave," "Better you than me," "You have your hands full." I so HATE being noticed period (I have self-esteem issues and I am pretty anti-social in person so I really like not being noticed!), so I was so uncomfortable in public. I don't know what I will do if I don't fell like I can go out anymore. The babies slept the entire time so they were good, but I just hate having to talk to people - I never know what to say.

For the first time since they were born I am glad they are fraternal and in a year or so you won't be able to tell they are twins!

Angel

 

O.K. Our twins are six weeks old. We are not a family that stays home all the time. I get really depressed if I have to sit at home nursing all day.

Well, we grocery shop every two weeks. Today I had my six week check up and then we went shopping. The two older kids were in school so it was just the babies and me.

Well, when I went to my MD appointment it didn't really bother me. The questions, "How do you do it?" "How do the older kids like the babies?" I didn't mind that - I know the people at the MD's office. Well, then we hit Meijers. Well, I knew it would be super busy since it is only five days until the big day. I was ready for that. I knew I was going to have to two cart it - babies in one groceries in the next - I did that when my oldest two were little, but I was so tired of the comments. Every eisle someone said something. I didn't mind the elderly people asking how old they were and saying how cute they were. That didn't bother me, but I got so tired of, "Oh are you brave," "Better you than me," "You have your hands full." I so HATE being noticed period (I have self-esteem issues and I am pretty anti-social in person so I really like not being noticed!), so I was so uncomfortable in public. I don't know what I will do if I don't fell like I can go out anymore. The babies slept the entire time so they were good, but I just hate having to talk to people - I never know what to say.

For the first time since they were born I am glad they are fraternal and in a year or so you won't be able to tell they are twins!

Angel

 

I feel the exact same way!!!! My mom always says she would love the attention, I should be happy- but sorry, I just don't feel that way. Just once I would like to go out and not have ANYONE say anything twin related.


Kristi
Molly and Zach 6 months

 

Try putting one in a sling & the other in the cart- that way you only need one cart & people seem not to notice you have two babies. I went out w/all 3 of my girls this way & I didn't get any comments. When I go out w/the double stroller it screams TWINS & people feel like they must comment.

I haven't had anyone say "Better you than me" yet-I hate that & think I'd have to be snarky back to them! I do get lots of "your hands are full!" though. I like "oh what a blessing" & I like when parents of older twins talk to me- they look at the girls so sweetly- like they miss the baby days

 

Hang in there!! Some days are better than others!!

I just smile and say thank you and give them a morsel of what I am feeling (i.e. "they are workin' me" or "lovin' every minute of it" with a BIG smile on my face and they leave me alone....

I'm finally to the point where you can tell that one is a boy and one is a girl, so that's better!

You'll get your groove on and handle it all beautifully! Don't stay home! That would be a shame!

 

I know what you mean. I get sick of all the comments as well. I only have my two boys, but I take care of a2 year old full time and sometimes we go to the mall. I'll have people admire the twins ans say nothing about the little 2 year old. They don't know he's not mine. I hate that. Just because they are twins, doesn't mean that they are a circus act that needs to be commented on all the time. Do people single out your twins and not your other children when they're all with you? I hope that doesn't happen when I have another child and my identical boys are older, cause I'll get mad.

 

quote:
Originally posted by my2littlebubbas:
Do people single out your twins and not your other children when they're all with you?


All the dang time. My DD#1 is used to it...maybe about 10 minutes in someone will ask if she is the big sister. It breaks my heart. We don't get stopped as much now because both of my twins are in orthotic helmets. Nobody knows quite what to say about that!

 

I feel so sorry for my oldest ds. The other day he said, "mommy people stop us everywhere we go they must really love the twins." He can't help but notice all the attention the twins get.

 

quote:
Do people single out your twins and not your other children when they're all with you?



Oh yeah! It mkes me chuckle since my oldet two are also twins, people really only notice when they are babies and in carriers. I would say 1 out of 10 people notice we've got 2 sets of twins. It doesn't bother me since it's less time/comments but it drives my DH nuts - he points out the fact that we've got 2 sets, but he's much more "chatty" than I am.

Hang in there - it definitely gets better as your babies get older and attract less attention. I'm like you and don't do well cooped up, get out and enjoy yourself, you'll get the "twin mom" smile down in no time and can just nod your way through anything

 

I know i feel the same. I went to the supermarket and i swear i got stopped by at least 8 people and i heard at least another 15 saying aw look twins!! I sometimes want to say "Yes very good two babies now get over it!" I think it is just starting to get really old now. x

 

Twins always draw so much attention...it's crazy! Hats off to you for getting out there with them though. Mine rarely go out, partly because it's easier to run errands without them and partly because with all the attention they get I'm afraid of them getting someone's germs.

 

I thought it was fun at first, but that lasted for about a week! Now I just feel like a freak show! I don't let it stop me from going out though - we're usually out three of five days during the week. I've learned to just smile and say "yes, they're twins" and keep moving. I used to feel obligated to stop and talk to people, but not anymore!

 

I have recently realized that I hate it so much not because of the atttention itself, but because everybody thinks they have to touch their hands or face. I know it is somewhat of a natural reaction - but I would never touch a strangers baby - even before I had kids. It's cold and flu season now too, why don't people think?

 

I take mine out with me all the time, they are happier out than in the house. I also really hate people touching them, especially their hands. I mean, really, can we say "cold & flu season!?!" What are people thinking, they are just little babies. Sometimes, I make sure their little hands are up inside their sleeves so they are unavailable to be grabbed! The comments & questions don't bother me too much. Although I do hate the "better you than me" comment and I have been known to reply "obviously" if I'm in a bad mood or have heard it once too often that day! My other kids are older so they just think it's funny that sooo many people stop & usually they just make a game of counting how many people we have to talk to during one trip out somewhere. They also think it's funny when we hear (often), "Oh, a boy and a girl, aren't you lucky. Are they identical?" If I'm in a real hurry I have learned if you don't make eye contact with people, a lot of them won't stop.

 

I am right there with you! I have gone out a few times and a freak show is exactly what I felt like. I get the comments that "better you than me" and I just said..."oh...you are no fun"!

Our twins are 7 weeks old tomorrow and we are an adoptive family. They are a different race than we are so it makes things all the more noticeable. Like others have said, we just make the best of it and have the smile on our face.

 

Once DH and I went to Wal Mart mad at each other and we learned that if you look pissed off not so many people talk to you. Plus at first I noticed I often stopped my cart when people spoke to me, just keep walking and kinda answer. Example. Wow you got your hands full then you say Yeah and keep walking. You have twins? Yeah I have twins just dont stop walking. Another thing that may help. Is carrying one in a sling. I use the new native baby carrier. This way you have one cart. It does get better.