I am so sad

Discussion in 'Childhood and Beyond (4+)' started by FGMH, Jun 24, 2014.

  1. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

     "I am so sad" is a sentence I am hearing far too often from our twins at the moment and I am at a loss how to deal with it and how to have happier kids again.
     
    If I see a sad face or hear those words I try to cuddle them and ask why they are sad but often the explanations don't make a lot of sense to me or are about things I can't change. Listening and acknowledging their feelings does not seem to help them feel any better.
     
    I have a feeling that some of the sadness might be tiredness especially when they skip quiet time - we are still working on new family rhythms with the new baby.
     
    I also have a feeling that they are adjusting to the new baby and are now realizing that - although I am a SAHM for the first time - I am not as available to them as they would like, i.e. playing a board game or reading to them while nursing is not what they really want, waiting to bake the cake or do the complicated messy craft project together until the baby is asleep is unsatisfactory.
     
    Any ideas for dealing with the big feelings that are obviously behind the sentence "I am so sad"?
     
    PS: I can't believe I am posting here already, but my twins really are five now.
     
  2. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Honestly, when my kids tell me they are sad, I just tell them it's okay to be sad and we can be "sad" together.  Sometimes that means we just sit together in silence or just start chatting.  Maybe through a chat I find out what the real feeling is or I don't.  
    Sometimes, depending on what it is..if it's I'm sad (but really I'm bored) then I say, can you think of something that will make you happy.  
    I just think, like anyone, at times-kids just want to be heard and not to have it fixed.   
     
    2 people like this.
  3. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Transition with a new baby is really hard for kids. :hug: 
     
    I like what Nancy said very much and think it's great that they are aware of their emotions to the point that they can identify and articulate how they feel.
     
    I think I'd also go through pics of when they were babies and show them what's normal with babies and how fast their needs change. In a month or two your new baby will nap in the morning, afternoon and evening. Time will can be carved out for some of those special projects again. 
     
  4. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I think everything you're doing is spot on and over and above that it really is just going to be time. Keep in mind, it's okay for them to be sad - big feelings come and go. Acknowledging, empathizing and being there to listen to whatever they want/need to tell you is really all you can do. :hug:
     
  5. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    Thank you - you are right sometimes we want to fix things for our kids when they rather need to learn to live with the big emotions and to learn that these feelings come and go and are all normal and ok.
     
    I made them each a babybook about their first year as a coming home present and gave it to them when the baby and I came home from the hospital. They love them and they do help process things.
     
  6. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    I've also reminded my two that the baby will only be this little and needy for a little while. They have a cousin who is not quite 2 yet, so they can see the differences easily.

    And they have started enjoying the baby more as he gets more social. I think it helps that he's more interactive.
     

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