I am really stuck on how to deal with this.

My girls are 4 1/2 yrs old and play with some boys the same age in the back yard. They ride bikes all day..and go in to their house to play (I really like and trust their mom) and sometimes the kids will come over to our house and play. For the most part they are all good kids.

About 2 months ago I saw them all mooning each other outside and so did the boys mom. They all had to go inside and we talked to the kids and told them you do not show your private area (your butt, vagina or penis-we use the real terms) to anyone but mommy, daddy and the doctor. So we have been watching them and they haven't done it anymore. OR so we thought..

Tonight the 5 yr old little boy came over and they all ran to the girls room..and shut the door I have told them to leave the door opened before, so walked back there and opened the door and my girls are hurrying to pull up their shorts. It didn't look like the little boy was doing it, but Bridget told us after we got done talking that he was showing his penis. My girls got talked too..and put to bed early (they are tired anyways) but I want them to understand they can not do this anymore. The new rule is no more kids in their room with the door shut.

I guess my question is...do I talk to the boys mom? I do not know if he did anything wrong. Bridget is in a habit of lying about someone else when she is in trouble. But if he is doing this again..then maybe his mom needs to know to tell him to stop also?

Is this a normal part of little kids learning? Am I handling this OK..what else should I do to 4 yr olds? I am just confused..lol.

Thanks for listening...
Brandy :help:

 

Hmmm. I am obviously not there yet- but so far I think you have handled it fine. I guess if it were me- I would mention to the mom that it happened again, and while you didn't specifically see her DS with his pants down- you thought she would like to know about the situation so she could address it again with him too.

 

Actually, it is pretty common at that age to play like that. Kids are just discovering their bodies and exploring. I am not saying you shouldn't talk to them, and try to stop it, just that it is normal kid curiosity. My kids have been told that they don't play like that, or they can't have their friends over to play--and that stopped it on the spot.

 

I have vivid memories of playing doctor with the neighbor boy when I was little. Not sure how old I was. I think that important thing to remember is that they are not thinking with adult motives here, they are exploring. Also, I am not saying that you should not stop the behavior, you should. But, try not to go over board either.

Best of luck.

 

I would let the other mom know what happened. Just like you told us. Agree that it is normal and that you are handling it correctly.

 

I do think it is natural curiosity, but I also think it's important to inform the other mom. Not because her kid may have been 'naughty', just so that she's aware that they are continuing to seek out opportunities to explore/be curious. If she thinks it's no longer an issue the supervision may not be as tight (not saying she's not trustworthy, just that she'll have her guard down for such antics) while they are playing on her turf.

As for quelling the behavior, perhaps some anatomically correct dolls and some anatomy/our body books (age-appropriate, of course) could help them. In the meantime, I think you're doing right by instituting a no door closed policy (which, IMO, anything the kids want to do at that age they can do with the door open, sexual curiosities or not. If their activity can't be done with the door open, it's likely not appropriate or mischeivous anyway.).

 

I also think it is normal behavior but the Mom should still know. I would definetly want to know if my sons did something like that.

When I worked in a daycare last year in the 2 almost 3 room my kids started getting curious and playing doctor. They went through a stage where everytime they attempted to take their pants off. One day I was washing my hands after a diaper change and I turn around and one boy was showing the class his personal parts. I tried not to over react but right away I said NO! Then sat the class down and gave the big personal areas used in the restroom stay under your clothes speech. I did tell all the parents whose kids were there. 3-5 more than likely were present. After that the parents spoke to them and we reminded for awhile till that group caught on.