I am going out of my mind

I hate reflux and reflux hates me.


I hate feeding time. Seriously it is the worst part of my day.


The screaming has not stopped and its hit or miss when she will take a bottle. We increased her med to .07 on Wed. and have yet to see a change. I hate this. Reflux is so stressful. Thankfully she does not spit up but at this point that doesn't really matter.

DH gets home around 330 but that is right after their bottle and the next one is around 6. So, he is home for ONE bottle. I give her to him because I need a break and he gets all stressed and expects me to have the magic answers. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Then we get mad at each other.

Today I started crying while trying to feed her because somewhere in the back of my mind I think that she is not STTN because she is not eating enough in the day. She will take about 4.5 twice in the middle of the night but will not eat that much in the day. Everyday that she is not eating as well I know that means one more night of having to wake up (her sister STTN, takes 6 ounces 4 times a day is almost the perfect baby). I feel horrible saying that. Julia is my smaller baby and thus I was on bed rest since 23 weeks. When she was born I had to finger feed her and stressed over how much she ate. I try not to show my emotions because I know she can feel them but it is so hard. Other than the eating issues she is a great baby, smiles a lot (even after screaming during feeds).

Oh, get this. I needed a change of scenery when feeding her so I put the bottle down and made a little bit of cereal thinking I was crazy for trying (they have been doing this new "activity" since Wed). She ate the WHOLE thing, opened her mouth when I brought the spoon near and made little mess. I just don't get it.

I called the Dr. and left a message for her to call me.

These are my questions...

1. How much longer until we see results (she had been on it about a month saw great results, even thought maybe she didn't have reflux, but then it started again and just recently increased for weight gain).
2. Is not eating because of reflux or because of something else?
3. Is she truly not that hungry?
4. Are six diapers a day still a general rule for dehydration? (She has about the same amount of soiled as her sister).
5. Why is she eating so well (easy to feed, eats pretty quickly, no crying...) at night and not during the day?
6. Should I try and decrease what I give at night in hopes she will take it during the day?
7. Is she not taking the bottle as much because she likes eating from the spoon? (Something new and different)
8. If so, should I cut out the cereal as it is more important for her to eat formula?
9. How long do we wait until we try a different medicine?
10. How can I just chill out and not stress over every little bottle she takes? (haha)
11. They are ID, so if her sister takes the formula fine then can I assume it is not a milk allergy or something else regarding the formula?



If anyone knows any answers to the above questions feel free to let me know.

I just want her to take her bottle every 3-4 hours, eat in peace, burp and allow mommy to relax.

 

Oh, I wanted to add that I have tried feeding more frequently and she wants nothing to do of it. Not only that, but most of the time her and her sister are napping until it is time to eat. If she does wake up crying I do give her a bottle in hopes that maybe she is hungry and will eat. That too is a hit or miss. I already posted this in a previous post but her weight gain (how I have NO idea) is fine going from 10th percentile to the 25th.

I just feel like her feedings are a complete mess with no rhyme or rhythm= no life for mommy

 

Keep on top of your ped. There is still a lot they can do to get you through reflux. My little one has it too. We went from upping the dose to switching meds. We went from zantac to prilosec. They may also want to switch your formula. Even though they are iden one could have an allergy while the other doesn't.

Hang in there!

 

I don't have any experience with reflux, just wanted to send hugs your way. :hug99:

 

I don't have all the answers by any means...but my DS Daniel suffers from pretty severe reflux. What is she on? Zantac? Daniel was on Zantac for quite a while and then it just wouldn't work anymore. We then switched to Prevacid. It took about a month for us to find any real difference with that, but after that it's been pretty great. See my answers under yours.

Also, check out this website. I found it really helpful.

Reflux Message Board

QUOTE(Kellytwinmom @ Jun 13 2008, 02:55 PM) [snapback]825490[/snapback]
These are my questions...

1. How much longer until we see results (she had been on it about a month saw great results, even thought maybe she didn't have reflux, but then it started again and just recently increased for weight gain). Don't know...sorry
2. Is not eating because of reflux or because of something else? Without knowing all her symptoms, I can't say...but it sounds like reflux to me.
3. Is she truly not that hungry? No, I would say it is the pain.
4. Are six diapers a day still a general rule for dehydration? (She has about the same amount of soiled as her sister). Even when Daniel was in the worst of it, he still had plenty of wet diapers...although his wouldn't be as wet overnight as his brother's.
5. Why is she eating so well (easy to feed, eats pretty quickly, no crying...) at night and not during the day? THis is because she is drowsy and doesn't notice the pain as much.
6. Should I try and decrease what I give at night in hopes she will take it during the day? No, definitely not (in my opinion)
7. Is she not taking the bottle as much because she likes eating from the spoon? (Something new and different) No, the weight of the cereal does not hurt like the milk that comes back up. Daniel loved solids once I started giving them. Our GI said that I could give him as much as he wanted...he needed to gain weight and he wasn't eating enough formula due to the pain.
8. If so, should I cut out the cereal as it is more important for her to eat formula? You need to talk to your pedi or a GI about this one. See my answer in #7.
9. How long do we wait until we try a different medicine? I would insist on seeing a GI if you don't already. My pedi wouldn't change his meds but the GI changed it immediately to Prevacid.
10. How can I just chill out and not stress over every little bottle she takes? (haha) If she's gaining weight OK, then you need to think about that in order to stress a little less. Whenever I was really stressing over how little Daniel was eating (and how much he was vomiting up), I would take him in for a weight check and come home reassured because he was still gaining weight (albeit at a very slow rate).
11. They are ID, so if her sister takes the formula fine then can I assume it is not a milk allergy or something else regarding the formula? I'm not sure that this is true. My pedi put Daniel on Alimentum. It didn't help with his pain from the reflux but really cut down on the number of times he threw up entire feedings.
If anyone knows any answers to the above questions feel free to let me know.

I just want her to take her bottle every 3-4 hours, eat in peace, burp and allow mommy to relax.

 

Thanks for those replies!

I didn't think holding back at night would be any helpful either, just wondering. I want her to get all she can down her.

Another question...do any of your DC's not really act hungry after eating a little bit?

After we attempt to feed her and she eats and then starts crying after a couple of ounces she is perfectly content. Is that what you see with your children? Is it because of the pain that she doesn't "act" hungry?

Oh and Julia has silent reflux, with no spitting up.

 

QUOTE(Kellytwinmom @ Jun 13 2008, 03:36 PM) [snapback]825549[/snapback]
Thanks for those replies!

I didn't think holding back at night would be any helpful either, just wondering. I want her to get all she can down her.

Another question...do any of your DC's not really act hungry after eating a little bit?

After we attempt to feed her and she eats and then starts crying after a couple of ounces she is perfectly content. Is that what you see with your children? Is it because of the pain that she doesn't "act" hungry?

Oh and Julia has silent reflux, with no spitting up.


My Daniel never acted hungry at all. Eating is associated with pain for them so they don't want to eat.

It's only now that Daniel actually gets excited when he sees his bottle (about 2 to 3 months) after reflux peaked for him. I never thought it would happen, but now he actually likes to eat.

And I know you're frustrated and stressed, but count your blessings. At least she doesn't spit up / throw up. I would fight and fight with Daniel to get him to eat and then he'd throw the whole thing up. Then we'd start the process all over again!

 

My sister's son was like this and he was on two meds for reflux at the same time. (Not sure which ones.) He also turned out to have a milk allergy, trouble with soy, and thrived on nutramagin. So expensive, yet my sister thought worth every penny. GL

 

I wanted to add that before my sister started her son on nutramagin, even the pedi thought it was time for an exorcism!

 

Reflux sucks, sorry you have to deal with it. We had it too and I just about went crazy with it.



These are my questions...

1. How much longer until we see results (she had been on it about a month saw great results, even thought maybe she didn't have reflux, but then it started again and just recently increased for weight gain).

Hopefully just a day or two to see some improvement. If none, I would suggest a call to your Ped and maybe even switch meds.

2. Is not eating because of reflux or because of something else?

Hard to say, but it sounds like her reflux is acting up and she needs some help to get it under control.

3. Is she truly not that hungry?

Its probably the pain of the reflux making her not want to eat.

4. Are six diapers a day still a general rule for dehydration? (She has about the same amount of soiled as her sister).

Sounds good.

5. Why is she eating so well (easy to feed, eats pretty quickly, no crying...) at night and not during the day?

I am not sure, because for us the night was bad and sometimes worse for the pain.

6. Should I try and decrease what I give at night in hopes she will take it during the day?

No

7. Is she not taking the bottle as much because she likes eating from the spoon? (Something new and different)

Could be something new and exciting and it could be that the cereal sits well with her.

8. If so, should I cut out the cereal as it is more important for her to eat formula?

Its definitely more important for her to get the appropriate amount of formula intake because that is where she is going to get all of her nutrition from. But with that being said, we saw a Ped GI for the reflux and the best piece of advice he gave me was to add 2 tsp of rice cereal per ounce of formula to every bottle. Lifesaver!!!

9. How long do we wait until we try a different medicine?

If you see no difference in a day or 2, I would make the call to the Ped for a change.

10. How can I just chill out and not stress over every little bottle she takes? (haha)

Once you get the reflux under control things will get easier and you and she can be happy at feeding time again.

11. They are ID, so if her sister takes the formula fine then can I assume it is not a milk allergy or something else regarding the formula?

I dont know about this. Derek had the worst reflux of the 2 and he did test positive for a milk protein allergy and he went on the Alimentum and that helped him tremendously too.


I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. It is very stressful as a mom not to be able to feed a happy baby. I hope you find something that works and makes you both feel better.

ETA: We started on Zantac and had no results with that. Switched to Prevacid and within about a day saw some nice improvement and by 3 days had different babies.

 

I didn't get a chance to read all the other posts, but just wanted to say "hang in"...my older DD had horrible reflux and I know how stressful that can be. My DD was a bad eater too...she would only eat two ounces a feeding for the longest time. It was a constant struggle. Since your little one likes cereal have you thought about putting this in her bottle? Even though she isn't spitting up, it may be easier on her?! That may help.

Also, definitely complain to pedi if meds aren't working. I think they should take about 4 days or so to get in their system. Prilosec was the magic med for us...I highly recommend!!

 

my friends son had horrible reflux or so she thought then she realized it was a formula allergy. she was bf part time so she just weaned the easy kid and swiched the one with reflux to breast milk only she said he was a new totally different person after that.
my two cents

 

Wanted to send HUGE hugs your way. I know what you are going through and totally understand. My DD went thru the same thing. And I cried more days then not in the first 3 months. My babies both started on pepcid and it did nothing. They would keep increasing the dosage and it didn't help. I had a second opinion and they didn't help her either. Because of her gaining weight they didn't change her medicine and because "she will be starting solids at 4 months, it should get better". I finally almost DEMANDED to see a GI specialist for her. Even the GI didn't prescribe the Previcid like I asked. It wasn't until almost 2 weeks after the GI appointment and she was almost 3 months old did I call the specialist with me crying and the baby screaming at the top of her lungs for her to change her prescription. Once we were on Previcid it was much better. And, both of my babies are on Allimentum which I think helps. It may take you to be on top of that doctor every few days to keep giving stats of how well she's doing. Someone will listen...eventually. Hang in there mom. I am praying for you. :hug99:

 

Just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I swore I was going to have shirts printed that said "Reflux Sucks". I even told our Pedi this. It's the truth.
Molly never seemed very hungry when her reflux was bad. Even now - she paces herself. She will eat half her bottle - stop, then eat the rest about 20 minutes later.

When Molly's reflux was bad - feeding times were a nightmare. You don't feel like you can feed your baby anywhere other than home because of the screaming or the puking. I didn't have the freedom to feed my baby in a restaurant like so many other mommies. It was no fun!

Molly is on Prevacid. We also started taking her to the chiropractor. I don't know what worked....but, something did. She is a different child and feedings are actually enjoyable now. I don't know if it was the Prevacid, the chiropractor, or both.

Hugs to you. Keep your chin up.

 

Oh I could have wrote your post in the early months with my boys. They both had reflux but we didn't know what it was. Then someone suggested it might be reflux, we got the boys on zantac and it took about a week to kick in but from then on things just got better and better.

My boys never seemed hungary and were still only eating 3oz at 4months! I longed for a baby who would scream in hungar eat a bottle burp and be satisfied. I hated feeding time! The closer it got the more stressed I got, I would have to walk around with one while I feed him (not sure why this worked but if we walked around they would eat) and put one in a bouncy to cry until I could switch.

My boys too would eat like an ounce or so and then seem to not want anymore. Finally in the past couple of months they have come to enjoy there bottles and food.

Keep calling your ped's office to let them know this is not working.


Good luck and hang in there.

Erica

 

QUOTE(EricaG @ Jun 15 2008, 06:36 AM) [snapback]827495[/snapback]
I would have to walk around with one while I feed him (not sure why this worked but if we walked around they would eat) and put one in a bouncy to cry until I could switch.


I did this too. Weird, but it worked. Must have been a distraction.

Oh...and I would also feed Daniel in his bouncy seat while watching Baby Einstein. Anything to distract him from the pain.

 

Kelly- I know it's not fun to hear BUT.. this is going to pass. It sucks right now, for sure, BUT it's going to stop soon.

Nicolas had silent reflux and it was AWFUL!! Gabe didn't have reflux but he projectile vomited 100 times a day until 8 mos of age (7 adjusted.)

I think you are doing the right thing w/ the cereal.

A friend of mine has a son w/ these issues and she took him to a GI Specialist and he said "solids first and then try bottle". I thought it was NUTS but I guess it's working!! I was shocked to hear that he told her that 16 oz a day was fine.. but you have to do what you have to do. She needs the calories and you can mix plenty of formula in with the cereal or food.

I always use about 2 scoops of cereal with one scoop of formula and mix it. That way- the formula is still in there even if baby isn't drinking it. Also, what formula are you using?? Is it sensitive or not? This may be an issue as well.

Let me know. It stresses me out for you to read this.

 

The more I think about it.. the more I really think you should have her on alimentum or nutramigen. That is the first thing I would do if you are not already. This is a must for severe reflux, I believe.

 

DD has had reflux and right around the age you are in now, she was absolutely miserable. We switched from soy to alimentum, zantac to prevacid and added rice cereal. I too did NOT see instant results.

It took a while even then it didn't improve her eating habits. She would drink between 2-4 oz (if that) about 4 times a day (she would skip a whole meal) I was so worried that she wasn't getting enough. The pedi suggest I concentrate it by adding more powder to the bottle. She wasn't too concerned about her not gaining alot of weight like DS was doing.

We fed her sitting up, in small portions (meaning one feeding, stopping 10 times to burp). Eventually the meds started working and once she got on more solids and started liking that food, she started liking her bottles again. NOW she is a GREAT eater but she is still a peanut and not gaining alot of weight but again the pedi isn't concerned since she is gaining at HER own pace.

The pedi hasn't suggested weaning her off the meds (she is on prevacid and carafate which soothes the lining of the stomach BEFORE she eats) but with her having the stomach bug two weeks ago we missed alot of doses and she seemed to do fine. I have her down to once a day and when we go next month for our appt I am going to ask about stopping it and see how she does. I don't think she can handle milk products yet so we will keep her on alimentum until 1 yr then try soy then milk.

But I just want you to know she didn't spit up alot either and it was super tough, I could have written that post a million times a couple of months ago. It is tough to just hang in there but it will get better. OH and I think now that she is more mobile that has helped too!

GL sweetie and many HUGS to you!

 

With a formula change I am a little hesitant. Things were WONDERFUL about two weeks ago (before I realized that Zantac was weight sensitive. She was taking .05 twice daily, now she needs .07). She was eating every 2 hours (I think they were going through a growth spurt), giggling, talking up a storm. Then it slowly got worse. I thought at first it was the "4 month wake up" and not eating but Ava "grew" out of that and is now taking 6.5-7 ounces every 4, Julia....not the case.

If it was the formula wouldn't we not see a change with the initial dose of Zantac about a month ago? (Which, I was given a sample of alimentum on Wed. I gave it to her and she took one sip made a horrible face and wouldn't even let the bottle get near her. I don't blame her that stuff smells NASTY!) Do I continue to try and give that to her? I also have been waiting to change formulas to give the increase in Zantac a chance (not change two things at once to see which one worked/didn't work).

She ONLY cries with the bottle though. I did a dreamfeed with her at 9 last night and she took 4 ounces (no crying, ate peacefully in my arms). I don't normally do that but I am trying to take advantage of her sleepiness to get some food down her. She woke up at 1 and ate around 3 ounces (holding her) and then at 6:30 took 2 ounces. My DH fed her and she did not cry until mid way through the bottle. After the 2 ounces she wanted nothing to do with it. I gave her cereal and she ate pretty well (well as in opened her mouth and ate it with out screaming. To me that is "well"). After giving her cereal I tried to give her the rest of her bottle and soon as she saw it she would push off of me and lean backwards.


This is the weird part...sometimes she will take her bottle better lying down in her crib, flat. AND the only time she is crying is during feeding time. As soon as you take the bottle away (if she is arching her back, she stops...no crying). It breaks my heart that now she will not allow me to hold her while I feed her. When she is in the crib the feeding process is V-E-R-Y slow. She mostly plays with it not getting a good latch, just moving her tongue around and ever so often she will take a little down. She does not cry during the day/night unless it is with the bottle.


I had a little breakdown at a retirement party friday night. I barely get out of the house and was able to go alone. I walked in the door (I had to stop working in Oct and it was not part of the plan due to the girls size difference, so I was already emotional about seeing my friends) and they all shouted, "Kellyyyyyyyy so good to see you. How are you doing?" I tried to say good but right then and there I started crying. Thankfully they are my friends but still. The whole night I was on the verge of tears. We too never leave the house as feeding Julia in public would be horrible. Today is Father's Day and we are going to stay home. Thats sad. Thats so sad that this is controlling our lives.

So yesterday I called after hours as it cannot possible be okay for a baby to eat the little that she is. The nurse told me that "luckily a baby will not starve themselves". Great. Thanks lady that makes me feel so much better. She also said I could syringe feed her (because clearly I have several syringes lying around my house just in case my baby will not eat normally).

I do have an appointment tomorrow morning with her regular ped. I have lots of notes written so far...something has to be done. Last week I saw a different Dr. and took the video camera to show him. Today I am trying to get different videos to show her (our reg. ped) what I am talking about it.

(Which if they tell me don't worry she will outgrow it...I think I will scream. In order to "grow" you have to eat. If she is not eating she will not grow so no, no she will not outgrow it at this rate).

I am desperate for things to change. She is such a happy baby, just not during feeding times.

 

My smaller twin (4.14 at birth) had a lot of pain while eating and was diagnosed with reflux. She is on Axid. It didn't help a lot so they switched her to a hypoallergenic formula (Enfamil Nutrimagen) and it helped decrease the number of feeds she screamed through. Neither my husband nor I have milk allergies so odds are she doesn't have one but the formula seems to help her out- she definitely gets bad gas on top of the reflux and the formula seems to help with that. I would give it a try- you have nothing to lose.

She also wakes up much more often to eat at night and I was told that once they it about 13 pounds they can go longer stretches at night. Mybigger twin (about 13 pounds now) would probably almost STTN but I feed her when the other one wakes up. My smaller twins is about 10.5 now so I figure I have another 2 months or so before she will STTN. they are 12 weeks now...

good luck- the screaming is definitely awful and I used to cry when I fed my little one because she cried so much. Is there anyone else who could do a feeding for you to give you a break?

 

I will add another vote for trying Nutramigen if you haven't already. My DD screamed horribly for the 1st three months of her life from reflux. We switched to Nutramigen and in about 5 hours she was a completely different baby. Expensive, but so worth it. Another thing that worked for us with DD is that we started sleeping her on her belly and elevating her mattress. She could bunch her legs up on her belly and I don't know if it helped her get the gas out or what, but she started sleeping better (for longer periods). I know not every parent is comfortable with that idea, but my ped even said if she is happy that way, go with it.

Good luck!

 

Hi Kelly. My heart aches for you reading your posts. You are exactly where I was 2 and 3 months ago with Daniel. I will try to answer your questions below.


QUOTE(Kellytwinmom @ Jun 15 2008, 11:39 AM) [snapback]827828[/snapback]
If it was the formula wouldn't we not see a change with the initial dose of Zantac about a month ago? (Which, I was given a sample of alimentum on Wed. I gave it to her and she took one sip made a horrible face and wouldn't even let the bottle get near her. I don't blame her that stuff smells NASTY!) Do I continue to try and give that to her? I also have been waiting to change formulas to give the increase in Zantac a chance (not change two things at once to see which one worked/didn't work).

I understand your hesitancy here...since you want to know what will work. I actually don't know the answer to your question. For Daniel, switching to Alimentum made the vomiting decrease whereas the switch to Prevacid made him eat better, since the pain was less. After a couple of days on the Zantac, I think you should try the Alimentum again to see if it helps. Personally, if the reflux is as bad as you say, I don't think upping the dose of the Zantac is going to help. You need to swtich meds.

She ONLY cries with the bottle though. I did a dreamfeed with her at 9 last night and she took 4 ounces (no crying, ate peacefully in my arms). I don't normally do that but I am trying to take advantage of her sleepiness to get some food down her. She woke up at 1 and ate around 3 ounces (holding her) and then at 6:30 took 2 ounces. My DH fed her and she did not cry until mid way through the bottle. After the 2 ounces she wanted nothing to do with it. I gave her cereal and she ate pretty well (well as in opened her mouth and ate it with out screaming. To me that is "well"). After giving her cereal I tried to give her the rest of her bottle and soon as she saw it she would push off of me and lean backwards.
This is the weird part...sometimes she will take her bottle better lying down in her crib, flat. AND the only time she is crying is during feeding time. As soon as you take the bottle away (if she is arching her back, she stops...no crying). It breaks my heart that now she will not allow me to hold her while I feed her.

This broke my heart too. I hated that I couldn't hold him and feed him. I mostly still can't but sometimes he does let me hold him now if I have Baby Einstein on. Oh...and we did dreamfeeds with him often. Anything to get just a bit more food into him. Plus, like you say, it was so nice to actually hold him and feed him.

When she is in the crib the feeding process is V-E-R-Y slow. She mostly plays with it not getting a good latch, just moving her tongue around and ever so often she will take a little down. She does not cry during the day/night unless it is with the bottle.
I had a little breakdown at a retirement party friday night. I barely get out of the house and was able to go alone. I walked in the door (I had to stop working in Oct and it was not part of the plan due to the girls size difference, so I was already emotional about seeing my friends) and they all shouted, "Kellyyyyyyyy so good to see you. How are you doing?" I tried to say good but right then and there I started crying. Thankfully they are my friends but still. The whole night I was on the verge of tears. We too never leave the house as feeding Julia in public would be horrible. Today is Father's Day and we are going to stay home. Thats sad. Thats so sad that this is controlling our lives.

This totally controlled our lives too. That's what people don't understand...that you can't go anywhere because it is sooo hard to feed them. And for us, Daniel would vomit at least twice a day at that stage so we didn't want to deal with that out in public either.

So yesterday I called after hours as it cannot possible be okay for a baby to eat the little that she is. The nurse told me that "luckily a baby will not starve themselves". Great. Thanks lady that makes me feel so much better. She also said I could syringe feed her (because clearly I have several syringes lying around my house just in case my baby will not eat normally).

What an insensitive comment. And you know what...I think Daniel would have starved himself. I fought him on every ounce during the worst part. If I hadn't worked so hard and been so determined, I think he would have starved himself.

I do have an appointment tomorrow morning with her regular ped. I have lots of notes written so far...something has to be done. Last week I saw a different Dr. and took the video camera to show him. Today I am trying to get different videos to show her (our reg. ped) what I am talking about it.

(Which if they tell me don't worry she will outgrow it...I think I will scream. In order to "grow" you have to eat. If she is not eating she will not grow so no, no she will not outgrow it at this rate).

Actually she will "outgrow" it....eventually. It doesn't have anything to do with weight gain but rather with her digestive system maturing. They kept telling me that he would outgrow it. It doesn't help you at the time when you are dealing with it...but she will. I just wish you could know when...so you could see the light at the end of this very long tunnel that you are in. I've read that reflux peaks between 4 to 6 months...and that's exactly when my Daniel's was at it's worse. So please hang in there...this will pass!

I am desperate for things to change. She is such a happy baby, just not during feeding times.

 

Thank you so much for answering/commenting. Although it doesn't make things better it is good to know I am not alone!

Well her regular Ped. is out sick today, so I have an appt. with a different dr. I hate that. I know they are just as good but I really wanted to see her. I am pretty sure I am going to demand prevacid, or another medicine.

I know this is a stupid thought but it also makes me sad because Ava is eating so much and gaining like crazy. She was already 1-2 pounds bigger and now I don't know the weight difference. We always get comments like 'she must be the older one" or "she sure does like to eat huh". Sometimes they don't "look" identical because of it and everyone points that out. "Oh, thats right, thats Ava because she is bigger". I feel like with this the difference is only going to get even greater. Again, stupid I know but it makes me sad for both of them.

 

Sorry you are dealing with reflux-it is so tough! You would like to think that feedings should be a relaxing peaceful moment in this caotic life-but NO!
My ds has reflux and I was trying to bf and he was my good latcher only he would throw up his entire feeding and scream, my dd simply wouldnt latch but take her bottles like a champ. So I started adding rice to his ebm and bottle feeding him and it made all the difference in the world...I think that the rice thickens it up enough so it doesnt come back up.
Have you tried that? The meds didnt work for us but this did.
Good luck, I hope you find something that works! FWIW mine are now 5mo and I no longer have issues with reflux, so it does go away eventually.