HSHHC question about naps

for those that have followed HSHHC...

our babies are a few days shy of 5 months and i am going to start nap training this week. Dr. W suggests letting them cry for up to an hour at the nap time. a few questions...

1. do you stop/ start the time if they take a break in crying?
(if they cry for 20 minutes, sleep for 15 and then start crying again...what do you do?)
2. do you let them cry for both the a.m. and p.m. nap (even if it is the same day)? or do you just try again another day?
3. did you ever go in to reinsert a paci or does this defeat the purpose of training them to put themselves to sleep?
4. how long (how many days) of lettting them cry during naps did it take for them to learn that it was time to sleep?
5. how old were they when naps were really consistent/ routine for them?

thanks for sharing your experiences with nap training. they are doing super at night and only wake up once to eat. we have had to let them cry a few times at bed time but it went from 20 to sometimes 5 or 6 minutes...mostly there is no crying at all now. i am looking forward to the same happening for nap times.

thanks again for your input!

i am going to go get them up now. she cried for 20 minutes and slept for 25...is crying again because ds woke her up with his crying. he slept for 20 minutes and then his pacifier fell out and he started crying! yikes!!!

 

Here's what I'd do -

If they really fall asleep, then wake up crying after 15 min, I'd go to them. To me, it seems really different to put a baby down & let them cry vs. let them cry all alone waking up. Give them a few minutes to see if they fall back asleep, but if they don't, then go in.

I'd avoid using pacis for sleep - if they get too dependent on them, you'll spend all your time popping it back in. Fingers and thumbs are a great alternative.

Also, I know most of the moms on this board are die-hard by-the-clock schedule fans, but I think you'll have the most success if you watch the window of wakefulness instead of the clock. So instead of saying "From now on, naps are at 9 and 1," just watch your babies and see how long they can stay awake before getting tired. Mine are always maxed out after 1.5-2 hrs awake, so that's when they go down. Actual nap times vary depending on what time they got up in the morning and how long the previous nap was.

One of the biggest flaws of HSHHC IMO is the insistence on a by-the-clock nap schedule. On the one hand, Weissbluth says "Watch the baby, not the clock," and on the other, keeps harping on about the 9/1 naps. He also says that the window of wakefulness should be no longer than 2 hrs. So for his schedule to work, your babies have to wake up no earlier than 7 am and sleep at least 2 hrs at each nap. Yeah right. My babies would be excruciatingly overtired if I tried to force them to conform to that kind of schedule.

So just watch for them to get tired and don't worry about the clock.

Good luck! I hope they catch on fast & there isn't too much crying.

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Nov 3 2007, 02:17 PM) [snapback]479492[/snapback]
One of the biggest flaws of HSHHC IMO is the insistence on a by-the-clock nap schedule. On the one hand, Weissbluth says "Watch the baby, not the clock," and on the other, keeps harping on about the 9/1 naps. He also says that the window of wakefulness should be no longer than 2 hrs. So for his schedule to work, your babies have to wake up no earlier than 7 am and sleep at least 2 hrs at each nap. Yeah right. My babies would be excruciatingly overtired if I tried to force them to conform to that kind of schedule.

So just watch for them to get tired and don't worry about the clock.

Good luck! I hope they catch on fast & there isn't too much crying.


I agree! This is where we recently have gotten stuck. There is no way my girls can do a 9 and 1 nap. I find if I get them down before they get tired, there is no crying. In the morning, I don't let them stay awake any longer than an hour. This seemed ridiculous initially but they really can't cope and wouldn't fall asleep. That is about all we've accomplished at this point. I am not to the point where I can let them cry so am doing my best.
1. Not sure...interested to see responses
2. Ithink you do it for both
3. I would say ditch the pacifier for sleep. They will find a way to self soothe which is key or you are running in to replace the paci constantly.
4. With my son it was 2 days
5. Consistent naps for my son at 4 months. My girls have been consistently taking a morning nap for about 3 days :lol:

Good luck! If you find anything that works well let me know!!
Andie

 

Hi there. I follow HSHHC for the most part, although I don't really let my boys cry. I do let them fuss though. I did let James cry at bedtime for a few days but it was a nightmare for both of us. Maybe sleep training would have happened faster if I'd be tough enough to hear crying, but being really consistent and patient has worked too - although teething, colds, etc. always throw a wrench in the works. Anyway, I agree that you should watch your child, not the clock - I always took the HSHHC suggestion of 9:00 and 1:00 naps as totally flexible. My babies rarely nap at 9 and 1 exactly - it's always give or take an hour. Honestly though, my babies weren't ready for just 2 naps until 6 months - and we still had to do three some days. At 5 months we were doing four 45 minute naps. Over time things changed. Try your best to watch the babies and put them down during their window of tiredness for a week and jot down when they go down (i.e. what time it was, how long since they woke from their last nap, how long/well they slept) - I bet you'll see some kind of pattern there and that will help you see what works for your kids.

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Nov 3 2007, 02:17 PM) [snapback]479492[/snapback]
Also, I know most of the moms on this board are die-hard by-the-clock schedule fans, but I think you'll have the most success if you watch the window of wakefulness instead of the clock. So instead of saying "From now on, naps are at 9 and 1," just watch your babies and see how long they can stay awake before getting tired. Mine are always maxed out after 1.5-2 hrs awake, so that's when they go down. Actual nap times vary depending on what time they got up in the morning and how long the previous nap was.


Couldn't agree more. I tried the schedule by the clock thing for a couple days and it absolutely did not work for us. My babies were exhausted by the time I put them down and as a result had a more difficult time going down. If you look closely there is a window where if you put them down, there is less fussing. The hard part, sometimes, is identifying that moment in time!

 

for me it was difficult to find that window b/c it seemed like all they were doing was playing briefly,eating, diapers and back to bed BUT they are much more pleasant once they get their morning nap in. If only I could work out the afternoon ones!!

 

QUOTE(andreap @ Nov 3 2007, 10:20 AM) [snapback]479342[/snapback]
1. do you stop/ start the time if they take a break in crying?
(if they cry for 20 minutes, sleep for 15 and then start crying again...what do you do?)
2. do you let them cry for both the a.m. and p.m. nap (even if it is the same day)? or do you just try again another day?
3. did you ever go in to reinsert a paci or does this defeat the purpose of training them to put themselves to sleep?
4. how long (how many days) of lettting them cry during naps did it take for them to learn that it was time to sleep?
5. how old were they when naps were really consistent/ routine for them?


1. I left them in there for one solid hour. It was hard some days, but I did it. If they slept for 45 min. or so, then I would get them up.
2. Yes, both naps.
3. Not usually. Emma is my paci girl and I would only go in if she was completely flipping out. If it was an annoyed, oh man get back here mommy cry, then nope, I let her cry.
4. I don't remember. Sorry.
5. Honestly, I started right around 5 months also, and I think it took us about a month or so.

Once they were trained to sleep on their own, they were only sleeping a 1/2 hour, three times a day. BUT, I still left them in there for about 45 min.

 

Hi,

I agree with the previous posters who said to go in if the baby is crying during a nap (ie - already cried and went to sleep, then woke up crying). My girls wake up during their one two hour nap every day crying. I don't know why, but right around an hour, they are up, and if I go in and sooth them a little (insert a paci, stroke a face), they'll go back to sleep. If not, they're wide awake and mad at the world. I know that goes against HSHHC, but it's what works for me.

I let them both cry for all naps, although we've never had more then 5 or 10 minutes of crying for a nap. I don't think I'd let them cry for an hour. I just don't think I could handle it.

I do reinsert a pacifier for one of my daughters if she's so absolutely frustrated that I know she won't be able to calm herself. The other girl is good at calming herself, so no need.

They figured it out after just a few days (and we started right about the same time as you, around five months).

Naps became consistent for us around 4.5 months, but we've never done the 9am/1pm nap schedule. As everyone else posted, it just wouldn't work for us. In the mornings, they're up for 1.5 hours max then down for a 45 minute nap. As a result, they need a nap way before 1pm. Then, the next nap is 2ish hours. That usually puts them up between 2 at 2:30. Again, no way they'd make it all the way to bed time without a third nap. So, the third nap is usually around 4 or 4:30 and is only 1/2 hour. Bedtime is somewhere between 6 and 6:30.

I'd love to have them on a tight schedule of eating at a certain time, sleeping at a certain time, but they're not little machines. They need flexibility just like the rest of us...

 

One of my babies shows no signs of tiredness - he's a LIVE WIRE - it's really easy to miss his "window" and end up with a super cranky little guy. Tracking his sleep over the course of a week helped me to understand that he needs to go down for 2 naps a day whether he appears tired by the traditional definition or not (rubbing eyes, yawning, etc.). I put the babies in their sleep sacs, give them their pacis, and then lay with them on my bed for a few stories in dim light. It helps him to wind down and then I just put them in their cribs - they both fall asleep with minimal fuss, although my live wire usually requires a bit of bum patting.

 

you girls have been sooo helpful! i agree that it might not be the best for them to watch the clock but rather their "window" and try to catch them at the front end. but i too have a live wire that is so hard to read. she would party all day if i let her! :icon_biggrin: and she often protests even when i catch her in the window. yikes! i am glad to know several of you started nap training at 5 months. i know a lot of people say to start at 6 months but the book recommends starting even earlier than 4 months (the mulitples section in the back). i think that at 5 months they really do seem capable of learning the routine.

i appreciate the feedback on going back in if they have cried, slept a little bit and then cried again. dd slept for 40 minutes this morning after crying for 10 minutes. i let her cry after she woke up and it was not productive at all. on the other hand my ds fell right to sleep without any crying but woke up crying eventually. i let him cry for 10 minutes and he slept for another hour. it's tricky figuring it out but i know consistency will pay off if i can stick wth it.

this afternoon i put them both down awake and she slept for over 2 hours!!! i went into to wake her up to nurse and she was awake looking around and smiling. SHE NEVER WAKES UP smiling and playful. she is usally a little cranky when she wakes up. it was soooo sweet! ds slept for an hour and 15 minutes. their afternoon naps are much stronger than their morning naps, which is opposite of what the book says but i am happy for any nap over 30 or 45 minutes! i tried to put them down again this evening but they fought it. i just did an early bedtime routine with the daylight savings and they were both asleep by 6:15.

thanks for all of your input and experiences. they are incredibly helpful. i am hoping that after a week or so of consistenly letting them cry a little bit that they will figure it out. the other thing is that i am currently napping them in different rooms...that might be a big mistake. should i put them together so they learn to sleep through the crying. so far they always seem to wake each other up. sometimes even in the next room over from one other.

what do you girls think?

finally, did your babies ever eventually sleep the entire 1 1/2 - 2 hours that the book recommends?