How would you handle this?

So I picked up the boys before school at my MIL's house. Nicholas has a scratch behind his ear(drew blood), some more across his cheek along the bottom, and some on his back. From a kitten? Good golly no. His twin of course.

Now I'm of the school of thought, it didn't happen under my watch, so disciplining after the fact is out of the question. However, he is 5.5, knows better, and something should be done. But...what? DH is not happy. I'm not either, but I certainly couldn't get upset with MIL right there. The two boys were bothering each other and N has a tendency to instigate everything and just be a little sh!t. But, that doesn't excuse the behavior.

So what would you do? Take tv away? Electronics? Treats? Go to bed early? What? And for how long? This is unchartered territory!

 

I probably wouldn't do anything other than talk to the boys about what happened if I felt that it was serious. If things are ongoing, I'd just tell Nonni the next time you pick them up that the boys have been a bit scrappy lately and ask to do xyz discipline method to stay consistent with you.

I forgot to add, for us, any kind of physical fighting is an automatic time out. More to cool heads than anything. Afterward everyone has to say sorry and we usually spend a minute or two talking about what happened, and I try to talk about how it could have been avoided, like "did you notice that x was getting mad at you?" or "did it hurt your feelings when you stole the toy?" or whatever just so they start to be able to see these things coming. It sort of works.

 

I agree with Jen, I would talk to them about it. I don't believe in discipling after some time has passed. Even when my kids report incidents at home with DH, I ask "Did Daddy handle it?" The answer is always yes and then I say it's over and reaffirm what they should not have done in the first place.
I might add that if the next time we pick you up from somewhere and one of you has injured the other then you will lose whatever toy/activity/something they enjoy...and remind them of that before you go again.

 

I would let it go too. You don't really know what happened. I'd talk to them about no fighting and warn them that if they do it again they'll get punished though.

 

Yup, agree with PP. I would talk to them and tell them if you see scratches like that in the future, you will add on to Nonni's punishment.