How to teach DH baby soothing?

We have possible colic going on here. The girls are having a real fussy period in the evening and Georgia's been screaming quite a bit. They are 6 weeks old today which according to the books would be the peak of colic but they were 4 weeks early so is this just the beginning?

I've been down this road before with both my boys but I handled it mostly alone. Now with 2, DH HAS to help and he's not good at it. He kinda gets the rocking, walking, bouncing thing but stops too quick when it doesn't immediately settle them down. Then he'll just give up, sit on the couch and lay her on his lap while she screams all the while looking pissed at me! Well crap I am doing all of the above to soothe the other baby not filing my nails. I have to bite my tongue soooooooo hard to stay patient with him because criticizing him at that point would not help. I haven't had a baby out of my arms for the last 7 hours til now. I'm barely keeping my cool as it is.

Have you ever come across a video, book etc. that really made sense to your DH on baby soothing? We tried watching Happiest Baby on the Block. It was okay and helped DH get the hint a little.

 

QUOTE(2B2G @ Jul 1 2008, 11:26 PM) [snapback]856159[/snapback]
Have you ever come across a video, book etc. that really made sense to your DH on baby soothing? We tried watching Happiest Baby on the Block. It was okay and helped DH get the hint a little.

YES!! Happiest Baby On the Block! It comes in the form of a video or a book. I would recommend the video, because who has time to read with newborn twins. It was such a lifesaver for us. It goes through and teaches soothing techniques step by step. My DH and I watched it together and both learned a great deal. You will be amazed how well it works!

 

Ditto Krystyn. It really worked well. We got the DVD.

 

What really helped my DH was watching another person, other than me, try to help soothe our girls. For some reason I didn't count, but my Mom did. I'm not sure if you have someone who comes to help out or not, but since you've already watched that DVD, this was my only other idea. Good luck making it thourgh that fussy time. It's not easy, but you can do it. :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Kyrstyn @ Jul 2 2008, 01:50 AM) [snapback]856166[/snapback]
YES!! Happiest Baby On the Block! It comes in the form of a video or a book. I would recommend the video, because who has time to read with newborn twins. It was such a lifesaver for us. It goes through and teaches soothing techniques step by step. My DH and I watched it together and both learned a great deal. You will be amazed how well it works!


Ditto! Great for DH to watch!

 

I also want to say that Happiest Baby on the Block DVD is a good one! I would watch it together a few times, as it's difficult to remember everything the first time or two through. Also, just keep repeating to DH what he needs to do. :hug99: I'm sorry it's a difficult time. It would probably be good for you to communicate your feelings to him about his impatience.

 

Another vote for the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. But it sounds like you guys have already watched it. One thing that helps DH and I to get on the same page is if we offer advice when the kids aren't screaming. DH is actually the better of the soothers (his deep voice!), so I've asked him for tips on how to handle certain situations. Then sometimes he notices how I do things and will ask for tips from me. Sometimes I see him doing something that I wouldn't do so I ask him why he decided to try it that way (so as to not put him on the defensive)- sometimes his answers make sense! And other times I offer him another way to try it. One thing I learned from the beginning was DH and I do not do everything the same, but that is ok. GL!

 

Just so you know that time is just a mess and I remember sometimes trying everything and NOTHING worked. It just seemed we would put them on our knees and pat their bottoms and they'd cry. I couldn't handle the crying and my dh got the job (always in those evening hours 7 pm). Nothing I did or he did ever helped, but at least the baby knew we were there. (I read the book too...) 7-9 pm every night like clock work. You could try to take them into the bath tub with you ---- likely you haven't had a bath yourself at this time.... or he could take them into the bath. Check the water first -- you know men.

Try not to say anything to hurtful to your dh, you will have so many more chances later on. hehe I always found the crying seemed longer when someone else was dealing with them.

 

My dh always takes the cry baby outside and walks around and this usually works for at least a little while.
Oh man I am so sorry you are going through colic-it is seriously the worst stage and can really wear on you, especially when there are two...neither of you get a break! Hang in there!
BTW-if outside doesnt work to get them to stop my dh gives up-lays them down and lets them cry...he says they are going to cry one way or the other and he isnt going to listen to them scream in his ear. This frustrtates me because I try really hard!
PS-Sometimes the vaccum cleaner would make them stop crying or at least drown out the crying so we could get through dinner-maybe you guys could try that.
Good luck!

 

While I am sure there is an exception to the rule - men just don't get babies the way women do. For my hubby complimenting him often and repeatedly when he did something well, and asking his opinion and comparing notes on what worked on each baby gave me an outlet to gently offer suggestions. My DH also doesn't have the patience to sit with a crying baby - so I bought him a sling so that he could comfort a crying baby but still be able to do some of the things he felt he needed to get done (like clearing off the table, work, walking the dog, etc.). He wasn't interested in wearing the sling for about 3 days. Then one day, while "his" baby was being pretty unruly and mine - normally the most vocal of the two - was sleeping peacefully in the sling he gave in and had me help get it on and get the baby in. I kid you not the baby was alseep in less than 5 minutes and stayed that way for almost 2 hours. Finally - two sleeping babies from 7-9pm and a blissfully silent house. We are well over the colic hump these days, but we still have an occasional sleep fighter, and now my initially hesitant husband is often the one volunteering to be the one to comfort him and get him down. Don't give up hope. There is definately a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Gosh thanks ladies. It's nice to know I am not the only one dealing with a frustrating DH. It drives me nuts because I can get them to calm down but as soon as I do, the other starts acting up and the "calm" one passed to DH starts to act up again. I think earplugs are going to be his best friend. I can get all zen about the crying but it bothers him. Might have to play the DVD again for him.

 

No suggestions but hope you do find something.

Dianna