How to put twins to sleep when you are alone?

Hi,

I have 7 week old twin boys. Until now most naps occur on the nursing pillow or on me. Night is co sleeping (not by choice) often one on my chest. A couple days a week I have my in laws over to help. Yesterday I was able to focus on one baby and got him to nap briefly in the crib three times! Today, its back to just me, and I am not even trying the second baby in crib yet... But wearing him in a sling, but finding it vert hard to work with the other on trying to sleep in the crib. Also my husband travels several nights a week so I am often alone for bedtime as well.

I would love all of you suggestions for getting twins t o sleep as well as getting them on a routine (not looking for even sleeping through the night yet, just something with a bit of predictability or guidelines for me to follow).

 

Do you swaddle? That always helped our boys to sleep when they were newborns. After feedings we would swaddle them, give them the pacifier, and lay them down, often while still awake. We also put them down to sleep wherever - swing, bassinet, bouncy chair, on a boppy lounger. They were usually out in the living area so we weren't going back and forth to a different room to comfort or check on a baby.

 

We swaddled as well. Basically as soon as they were done bottles, burping and were starting to calm down, I would change diapers, put jammies on (or to be honest, they never got out of their jammies ) and swaddle one up, then swaddle the other one up and play the mobile for a few minutes, sing them a little song, keep the lights low and they'd usually go right to sleep. Just come up with any kind of routine and stick with it for a while and the kids will start to get the signals that it's sleepy time.

They're small enough now that they could sleep in the same crib if that makes things easier for you, then you can give them both attention at the same time.

 

I also swaddled. I would put them in their blankies after nursing and a diaper change and then into the bouncer or swing. I too co-slept and was alone because DH was deployed. I would let them sleep as long as possible in the swing or bouncer and then it would be back to bed with me. Good luck! The miracle blanket really was a miracle for us

 

Thanks everyone... i do swaddle and have to double swaddle or they get out. Right now, for the past 2 weeks they will only sleep on people. They will not sleep on the boppy or in swings (one of them will sleep in a swing once a day for about an hour). I have to break this habit, i am going crazy. Any time i put them down they cry. I cant pee, eat, or pay attention to my 4 yr old. I thought if i worked with one it would be easier, and it was when i had someone to hold the other while i picked him up put him down etc. I guess i will just have to go back to boppys and pick up put down both of them over and over. One of them definitely has a little colic in the evenings, sometimes i think they both do.

At what age did those of you using boppy/swing move to the crib?

How much crying at this age is ok? Everythign i read says none until at least 12 weeks, but I just don't know how to avoid it with 2.

 

It is impossible to avoid a little crying at this age. You only have so many arms! Just focus on getting into a routine that works for you and this phase will pass.

If the crying is out of control, I'd also suggest putting them down a little earlier. That seems to work miracles for many little ones as they get so over tired that they can't wind down when they should be going to sleep.

 

for me dd was a MESS at that age. Come to find out she was having trouble with her formula. Switched to Nutramigin and BOOM new kid. You may want to talk to your ped about the colic. Swaddle and for your own sanitiy I would keep trying to put them down to sleep. we went through a period like that and we just started laying them down right next to each other so they were touching, swaddled, and they would fuss for like 15 minutes, then the next night it was a little less then a little less until none at all but like a couple of whimppers. This was not a full on cry it out situation as I sat by the PNP and patted their bellys or bottoms whichever was facing out lol and sang to them or turned on their noise machine. GOOD LUCK. it gets better I promise.

 

Our boys slept in a co-sleeper next to the bed until 4 months and then we moved them to a crib in the nursery. The transition went really smoothly. It's like they didn't even notice. They shared a crib at first, then we put them in separate cribs at around 5.5 months.

They took most of their naps in the living room (swings, bouncy chair, or boppy) until about 6 months. Once we were sure they were comfortable in the crib and in the nursery, we started working on doing all naps in there. It was rough for a couple of weeks because they weren't used to napping in there, but they eventually adjusted. They nap in their cribs all the time now, unless one baby is being particularly fussy or waking up his brother, then someone might get to sleep in the swing instead.

 

I agree with the routine and swaddling (and I second the Miracle Blanket- love that thing!). I would decide on a routine that you want to do and be consistent with it every night. They will begin to associate that with sleepy time and it makes the transition smoother. I do bottles, lotion massage, jammies, sleep sack (swaddled when they were your twins' age), stories, then in their crib with their crib soother on. I put my twins to bed by myself too, and I used to call it the pacifier game. I used to soothe one baby until the other baby cried out, then go soothe that baby until the first cried out again, and repeat until both babies were asleep. It was hard, and there were a few nights when I had to walk out of their room and cried myself, but it does get easier. Once they realize that sleepy time is coming, its so much easier.

 

I was in a similar situation, hubby went back to work (nights) when the twins were 6 weeks... and it was all on me.
Our 3 year old barely slept in her own bed, and I simply decided I couldnt do it, there wasnt enough of me to rock them both to sleep seperatly.
I would bath them, put them down for bed and that was that... they would fuss, but I wouldnt pick them up until they were pissed... I did the bottle, binkie, rubbing thier back, turning on the vaccum etc... anything to let them know I was there, but not going to pick them up... it didnt always work like that, I many times did, but just weaned them out of it.

They are almost 6 months now, sleep in thier own crib with no fuss about it.
:youcandoit: those early weeks are the worst

 

Maybe they like listening to heart beats. Do you have a crib mobile with heart beat sound? If don't get it. It worked wonder with my son. How long do they stay up before u put them down? I wouldn't let them be awake for more than 45mins. Don't wait until they show tired signs.

Here was what we trained them around 3 months: bottle, swaddled, put them down on their sides, patted butts. They fussed, we kept singing and patting. If thing got out of control picked them up calmed them then put them down again patted again. We did this over and over again untill they fell asleep. You can't do CIO on that young babies. You don't have ability to learn that yet.

And really babies cry is normal. Let them cry a bit, wouldn't hurt. Just get use to it. And remember when you decide to try something that new or special, think if it will be a problem in the future. good luck and hang in there. It will get better soon !

 

My twins are 7 weeks now. My DH is home but since we have 4 other kids; I do most of the baby care. I tightly swaddle them. I have found that large flannel blankets work best; I made them from 1.25 yards of flannel and hemmed the edges. I was given some sleep sacks but them don't seem to keep a tight swaddle. I nurse them both and then put them down when they are still drowsy with a pacifier. Since they both have reflux, they sleep in their carseats most of the time. I put the carseats in the co-sleeper beside my bed. We also use a sound machine.

If DD is fussy I can put her in the swing and she will usually calm down and fall asleep. During the night I get up and feed them, if one of them is having difficulty getting back to sleep then I put them (usually DD!) in bed with me. She was much more fussy before I cut dairy out of my diet.

It took us awhile to get the night time routine figured out, started out rough with them loosing weight so I had to pump and feed every 2 hrs around the clock, but they are nursing good now so I think we are getting there!

 

I would put both babies in the same crib. I keep the lights very dim at night, just feed, burp, and change diapers and then put them back to bed....

I definitely wouldn't try getting them to sleep through the night at this point. I try to feed them around 10 pm and then hopefully they will sleep until 1:30 or 2. If one wakes up I find it is better for me to feed both of them. Hopefully they will then sleep until 6 although sometimes they wake up earlier or a bit later. In the morning I sometimes feed them one at a time sidelying for a few more winks unless they both wake up at the same time.

 

I found with my 3 kids at that age that if they were really fussy at bedtime it usually was food.
I breastfed my singleton and I always had to give him extra food before putting him to bed . I think the milk supply is at the lowest at around 6/7PM. If you can maybe express during the day or top them up with formula.If they re "full" they ll be more manageable and maybe you can have some kind of a bed time routine

We started with the miracle blanket as well but once they could get out of them I bought some woombies http://www.thewoombie.com/ They worked like a charm

 

are you open to letting them sleep on their tummies? My dh works nights and I was on my own at night right away. And I have a 3yo. I agree those first weeks are just hell. Sorry to confess that. But it was soooo hard. I finally gave in a put them on their bellies and havent looked back. They went to sleep so much easier and stay asleep. The first night I flipped them to tummies (around 8 wks) they slept 7 hours! Going from 2 to 7 hours was heavenly. Now they sleep 12 hrs without a peep at 7 1/2 months...on their tummies. So for me, white noise, tummpy sleeping, shush and pat bottom

 

:hug: Those first few weeks are such a blur! The good news is-it doesn't last forever! :hug:

For my boys, they slept in their swings for naptime, swaddled, until six months. Then I just up and moved them to their cribs-unswaddled no less-and didn't look back. For four months, they slept swaddled in their carseats. Then again, up and moved them to their cribs. Anthony would NOT fall asleep one night at four months in his crib on his back. I fed him, changed him, rocked him, EVERYTHING. I finally flipped him onto his stomach-and there was no turning back after that.

I agree with a pp about trying the tummy. Even if for just naptime if you are not comfortable with it. I put the boys on their backs. Annabella, had none of it. Nor did she do the swaddle. So, she ended up sleeping on me, with a boppy around her. I wasn't getting any sleep this way. I finally tried her on her stomach, and it was a whole new world. But, I was also confident in her neck control, and she slept directly next to me in the pnp, so it made me feel a bit better.

Wherever you can get them to sleep-just let them sleep. So if they can sleep in a swing, or a bouncy seat, or their carseat, let them-as long as you are comfortable with it. When we transitioned the kids to their crib, it was not an issue. And if there is an issue-there are many of us here who can help you out.

As for scheduling, etc... I didn't give it much thought until they were six months old and sttn. But dh and I are go with the flow types of people. We would aim for that bedtime around 7ish. Aimed for putting them to sleep after 60-90 minutes of awake time...then moving to a 9 am nap and a 1pm nap. Right now you can work on feeding, pajamas, swaddling, rocking/song/book/bath, whatever you so choose.

Just know-you will get there. We were all in your shoes of not knowing what the next thirty minutes brought, or if they would ever sleep longer than 2 hours... But we all survived to tell you it WILL happen-and we all made it through those long, exhausting days-and every bit of it was worth it. Hang in there momma! You are in the thick of it! :hug:

 

Thank you so much everyone! I am feeling better for letting one cry a little bit while I tend to the other. My husband is chinese and for the last several weeks his in-laws had hired a chinese non english speaking nanny to help me.. but it was a disaster. In their culture you never let a baby cry, even for a second, so she was always running to pick one up when he cried and got me jumping at the cries as well... more so b/c I wanted to stop them before she came in to get one! This also caused the babies to fuss anytime they were not in someone's arms. Its over now and the last 2 days I have been getting back to normal, and the feeling of stopping the cry within the first 20 seconds has left me. Yesterday I got the babies to chill in the swings again after just leaving them to fuss a bit on and off replacing pacis, for about 10 min... today, not one peep!!!! so here i am hands free able to type this reply! Last night we got them to hang out on the boppys again too.... so hope is returning.

With our 4yr old we never had a schedule, totally on the fly and everything was fine. I just read all the popular sleep books again, and decided we probably needed a schedule this time around. I tried seeing of some stuff would work, (Weissbluth's 6 week suggestions, EASY, and Gina Ford), and all my babies still want to do is eat and sleep and be awake maybe 2x a day, which is totally unpredictable.... the day i wrote this post i felt like such a failure b/c I thought i was doing something wrong that my babies were nothing like any of the babies in any of the books.... but thanks to all of you I am reminded that its ok to not have a textbook baby, and we will get by.... it really is just about figuring out what works and sticking with it.

I am trying a lot of your suggestions as well... so keep them coming! (oh and just so you know waht i do right now for night, at around 10:30, i take them upstairs, change them into diaper, gauze swaddle, followed by a swaddle me over it. I nurse for about 20 min followed by 1-2oz of supplement then lay them down on the bed (i am sharing a king size bed with them) surround them with blanket positioners put in paci and cross fingers they go to sleep soon. Some nights its right away, other nights, I have to continue to rock one of them for a while... If i try to put them to sleep at 7, at around 11, they are up and it takes 1.5 hrs to get them back to sleep, and requires much crying and paci replacing. They have been waking up every 2 hrs to nurse, which is fine b/c they go right back to sleep, soon I do hope they sleep a little longer though).

 

Your schedule sounds exactly like mine at that age. Mine are now 10 months old and sleeping great. I did have to give up nursing and switch my dtr to Nutramigen, but this doesn't sound like your problem. I read everyone's post and you seem to be figuring things out. I remember being on the phone with a night nanny company at this point and glad I never wasted the $$. There is no possible way that you can make both babies stop crying on your own. My kids seem to be adjusting fine and I'm sure they may have cried more than is recommended. I started a schedule at 8 weeks and put them in their cribs. I read the book 12 hrs sleep at 12 weeks. It helped, but my kids still barely ever sleep 12 hours. I just used it as a helpful guide for figuring out a schedule that worked for our family. Good luck and be confident you aren't doing anything wrong.

 

Your schedule sounds exactly like mine at that age. Mine are now 10 months old and sleeping great. I did have to give up nursing and switch my dtr to Nutramigen, but this doesn't sound like your problem. I read everyone's post and you seem to be figuring things out. I remember being on the phone with a night nanny company at this point and glad I never wasted the $$. There is no possible way that you can make both babies stop crying on your own. My kids seem to be adjusting fine and I'm sure they may have cried more than is recommended. I started a schedule at 8 weeks and put them in their cribs. I read the book 12 hrs sleep at 12 weeks. It helped, but my kids still barely ever sleep 12 hours. I just used it as a helpful guide for figuring out a schedule that worked for our family. Good luck and be confident you aren't doing anything wrong.

 

Both of my twins had "arm colic"...they would cry whenever they weren't being held. I finally bought two of the Bright Starts Ingenuity bouncers that bounce themselves. Bouncing seemed to be the only thing that calmed them. The bouncers worked great. After feedings I would swaddle them and put them in the self-bouncing chairs and the girls would fall asleep there (in the living room). At about 3 months I stopped this and started putting them in their cribs for naps. Now they are 4 months and take 4 naps a day in their cribs and hardly ever cry when they go down. Also, I loved the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins by Marc Weissbluth. It helped me a lot!

 

I am so glad you had/have the self-confidence to put your feelings above her habits! You are the mom, you know better than anyone else what your babies need and it truly sounds like you are spot on. Do not ever let people make you think the opposite. I mean, advice from others is great, but in the end YOU are the one who knows what is best.

I don't know how the get the "You are the Woman" smiley, but it has to go right here!

Good luck to you momma, you can do it!