how to deal with swearing

Hey guys,
Needing some suggestions on what to do when a 3 yr old swears.

On of my boys picked up the phrase; 'what the f'. Ugh.
My plan of action has been to ignore it....for 2 reasons, he says it in passing, and not for attention and 2. He is the kid, once he finds the hot button he'll use it. So rather to have this be another power struggle, we have just been hoping it will pass.

I can't shelter him from the language, it seems to be everywhere!!! The stores, playgrounds etc....its crazy! I am also of the philosophy that these experiences are opportunities to show what WE allow in OUR home. If this were my other boy, I'd know exactly how to handle it, but Ryan is very much at the power struggle age.

I don't know, maybe I'm doing this all wrong. If you have a 'spirited' little one, what would/did you do?

 

My little ones have spewed a few words in passing because they've heard someone else say it, and we've decided to take the ignore approach. As you said, calling attention to it just makes the word more tempting. I've decided, when they're older, to talk about language in terms of being respectful. Words are simply words until you put meaning behind them.

 

Oh man! Did not think I'd see this topic here! (no judgement!) I once dated a guy whose family thought it was cute when the 2/3 year old went around giving everyone the bird. Yeah, that didn't last long. Oh and of course, it was the day care lady's fault.

My 6 year old alledgedly gave a lunch lady the middle finger just a couple weeks ago. Seriously, my kids do not know what that means. He probably pointed to something with that finger or someone else told him to do it. Seriously, in questioning him, Audrey asked what did you do? He told her and she proceeded to do it saying "See, I can do it." They know now that it is inappropriate. Good luck with the ignoring it. I hope it works.

 

At 2-3, we ignored it. Starting around 3 we started telling them what words were not ok for them to say even if others say them (stupid, mostly). We just ran onto this last weekend when our oldest DS was watching a Jim Carey movie (pg 13) and the little guys happened to be walking by as he shouts out "Fkers". I wanted to die and of course the way he said it was funny, so Finley immediately repeated it. I immediately said that he actually said flippers or something equally ridiculous. Ha. A few days later I think he said it again and I just used a serious voice and said that it was a very bad word and that he should never say it ever again. All 3 boys looked shocked and very serious and we haven't heard it since.

 

There are certain things we don't allow in our family and words like that are one of them. If it was a young toddler who accidentally said a word because they're trying to say something else, I ignore it. This still happens sometimes with Spencer because he can't say certain consonants still. The older kids' eyes get big once in awhile because a word comes out wrong. But saying that phrase is obviously not just saying a word wrong. At 2-3, they aren't probably going to have any idea that it's inappropriate, of course. But I still don't want that kind of language in their vocabulary. So I tell them that it's not a nice word and means something bad. I don't get angry or tell them that they're bad for saying it, though. I just let them know it's not ok. Most of the time, that's enough. If it keeps up and it becomes a game or a "push my buttons" sort of thing, then it's more of a disciplinary issue because it's not about the words they're saying but about doing it when they know they're not supposed to.

 

I ignore the bad words. I just try to watch my language around them. I will sometimes say an alternative word and get them to repeat it. But beyond that i don't do anything.

As for the finger i have one who used to point with his middle finger. We cant get him to stop. Luckily he has mostly outgrown it.