How to deal with screaming?

This past week one of the twins has started screaming. She isn't screaming because she's mad, it's while she is playing. She did it numerous times last night at dinner and I would look at her and say "no". However at 5 months I know she doesn't have a clue. The problem is last night she woke up around 4 am and I could hear her playing in her crib. The longer she was awake, the louder she got. Eventually she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I finally went in and put the pacifier in her mouth to get her to be quiet. Of course she started squealing in delight to see me! Turns out she had woken the other one up also. Any suggestions at how I stop this? We are all exhausted this morning from her waking us up!

 

One of our girls does this. I really don't have any advice for she still does it - no reason except just to hear the sound of her own voice I guess. Nothing we have done has ever stopped it - we just kind of learned how to ignore it.

Angel

 

The solution is going to depend on your tolerance level. Both our boys are pretty loud, but one likes to scream for all sorts of reasons. Mad, wanting, excited, tired, etc. He knows the screaming gets our attention. We decided to break the habit. He would scream the most in the car. So my wife would tug a hair or two on his head. He did not like this, but realized that would be the result of his scream. Problem fixed. High pitched screams are very rare, at least the ones where he knows he's being a brat.
The screams for fun we don't mind cause they are just having fun. The screaming is joyful. If it gets too loud we all start to whisper, and they usually catch on to this too. We also play the biting game. They bite, we bite back a little harder. "OH, the biting game! My turn (chomp)." They catch on to this one real fast, and the game suddenly ends. No more biting! No more high pitched screams.

 

Wow. I hope that's just a phase. DS was into making very loud, VERY high-pitched squeals for a while. He's growing out of it now, thank goodness. It might have helped that we started playing a "low voice" game with him, talking in goofy extra-deep voices while playing with him - he soon started "talking" back so low you'd swear his voice broke already! But then again, maybe he was just ready to outgrow it.

QUOTE
He knows the screaming gets our attention. We decided to break the habit. He would scream the most in the car. So my wife would tug a hair or two on his head.


Inflicting physical pain on a baby for normal behavior sounds awfully harsh, IMO.

If you have to "train" a baby out of a habit, a method I learned for training pit bulls at the animal shelter I volunteered at might work better: if they do something "bad" to get your attention, withhold your attention. At the shelter, this meant turning into a statue and ignoring a dog jumping up and leaving muddly paw-prints on you - and then rewarding them for acting "civilized" with lots of attention, praise, and play. With a baby who's screaming simply to get a reaction (NOT out of need for food, diaper, hugs, comforting, etc), I'd just refuse to react, but make a point of giving lots of attention for "good" sounds (babbling, gurgling, cooing).

 

Does this sound o.k.?

DD started screaming again (I mean ear piercing screaming) while I was in the shower yesterday. The twins shower with me every day so she was laying on a towel next to the tub. I opened the curtain and flicked a couple drops of water on her. She was startled so she stopped screaming. She never cried. Does this sound like an acceptable way to deal with the screaming? I don't want her doing it at 4am and waking everyone up like she did the other night.

 

Thank you for making my day. I am sitting here laughing my pants off! Mine is starting to scream and we are wondering how to deal with it. You have some interesting suggestions... The biting game - lol!

QUOTE(dueinapril @ Aug 25 2007, 05:18 PM) [snapback]379788[/snapback]
The solution is going to depend on your tolerance level. Both our boys are pretty loud, but one likes to scream for all sorts of reasons. Mad, wanting, excited, tired, etc. He knows the screaming gets our attention. We decided to break the habit. He would scream the most in the car. So my wife would tug a hair or two on his head. He did not like this, but realized that would be the result of his scream. Problem fixed. High pitched screams are very rare, at least the ones where he knows he's being a brat.
The screams for fun we don't mind cause they are just having fun. The screaming is joyful. If it gets too loud we all start to whisper, and they usually catch on to this too. We also play the biting game. They bite, we bite back a little harder. "OH, the biting game! My turn (chomp)." They catch on to this one real fast, and the game suddenly ends. No more biting! No more high pitched screams.

 

I hardly think pulling a few hairs on our babies head is harsh treatment. By the way, this also works with nipple biting unless they are completely bald. But maybe you are good at "ignoring" the nursing child that just chomped down on your nipple. My wife is not as tough.

If splashing drops of water works, that is great too. This is just our method.

For an excellent book on training children, I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child" by Debbie and Michael Pearl. It can be found on www.nogreaterjoy.org I ordered more to hand out to my friends. Somebody gave me this book, and it has been invaluable to my wife and I. However, be warned. If you think a "timeout" is the only humane form of training, or are an anti-bible/anti-religious person, don't waste your time.

BTW, the "pulling of the hairs" comes from my wife's mother, as does the "biting game". My wife remembers it well, and couldn't wait to try it out on her own children.

 

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I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child" by Debbie and Michael Pearl.


Oh yes, the book that recommends whipping infants:

QUOTE
One of our girls who developed mobility early had a fascination with crawling up the stairs. At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree.

Such was her fascination with climbing that four or five sessions had not made her stop. The thought of further spankings was disconcerting, so I conceived an alternative. After one more spanking, I laid the switch on the bottom step. We later observed her crawl to the stairs and start the ascent, only to halt at the first step and stare at the switch. She backed off and never again attempted to climb the stairs, even after the switch was removed.


http://www.gospeltruth.net/children/pearl_tuac.htm

 

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For an excellent book on training children, I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child" by Debbie and Michael Pearl.


Sounds like something for animals, not children.

I'm sorry... but whipping infants? No way! No wonder it is only 5 bucks.

 

It's extremely common for 5 month olds to scream. They are testing out their voices and learning how they work. This is a phase that will eventually pass. If they get to be too loud while they're playing, blowing on their face or whispering in their ear works great and can be a fun game.

If she was just standing in her crib and screaming for fun, as hard as it may be just let her scream until she's played herself out. Perhaps you could put some safe toys in her crib to distract her at night as well. Unfortunately this really is just something they'll have to grow out of.

QUOTE
For an excellent book on training children, I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child" by Debbie and Michael Pearl. It can be found on www.nogreaterjoy.org I ordered more to hand out to my friends. Somebody gave me this book, and it has been invaluable to my wife and I. However, be warned. If you think a "timeout" is the only humane form of training, or are an anti-bible/anti-religious person, don't waste your time.


I am a pro-bible/religious person and I would NEVER advocate whipping a child, let alone an infant! Do not assume that everyone who believes in the bible would do the same things as you would do. And thank you, I would never waste my time reading garbage like that!

 

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For an excellent book on training children, I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child


I looked at that website and found it disgusting. They advocate thumping, spanking, and pulling the hair of infants. Some people are so backward.

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Aug 27 2007, 03:23 PM) [snapback]382282[/snapback]
It's extremely common for 5 month olds to scream. They are testing out their voices and learning how they work. This is a phase that will eventually pass. If they get to be too loud while they're playing, blowing on their face or whispering in their ear works great and can be a fun game.

If she was just standing in her crib and screaming for fun, as hard as it may be just let her scream until she's played herself out. Perhaps you could put some safe toys in her crib to distract her at night as well. Unfortunately this really is just something they'll have to grow out of.
I am a pro-bible/religious person and I would NEVER advocate whipping a child, let alone an infant! Do not assume that everyone who believes in the bible would do the same things as you would do. And thank you, I would never waste my time reading garbage like that!


Agree!

As far as whipping an infant -- some think of the passage "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child." The rod referenced in the bible is the Shepard's hook which served as a means for the caretaker to guide his sheep not to beat them into submission. Whipping an infant ... uggh!

 

My jaw is on the floor. I can't believe people would actually write a book condoning physical abuse of anyone, let alone an infant.

Aria was a screamer, she loved to hear her own voice. We let it go, it didn't bother me all that much. She's still pretty loud though.

Piper really found her voice about two months ago and for a few weeks would make several different, constant sounds, one high pitched - one a low growl. Neither lasted long, but we didn't do anything to stop her, I thought it was pretty cute.

Payton isn't overly vocal at all. She'll raspberry and "talk" but nothing loud or annoying.

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Aug 27 2007, 04:23 PM) [snapback]382282[/snapback]
It's extremely common for 5 month olds to scream. They are testing out their voices and learning how they work. This is a phase that will eventually pass. If they get to be too loud while they're playing, blowing on their face or whispering in their ear works great and can be a fun game.

If she was just standing in her crib and screaming for fun, as hard as it may be just let her scream until she's played herself out. Perhaps you could put some safe toys in her crib to distract her at night as well. Unfortunately this really is just something they'll have to grow out of.
I am a pro-bible/religious person and I would NEVER advocate whipping a child, let alone an infant! Do not assume that everyone who believes in the bible would do the same things as you would do. And thank you, I would never waste my time reading garbage like that!



I totally agree Jenny.

Even now my two like to scream, they enjoy hearing themselves and then play off each other, it is all in good fun.

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For an excellent book on training children, I would strongly recommend a $5.00 book called "To Train Up A Child" by Debbie and Michael Pearl.


I would never waste my money on a book like that. Kids are kids and they enjoying hearing themselves, they are discovering their voice and there is nothing wrong with that.

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I looked at that website and found it disgusting. They advocate thumping, spanking, and pulling the hair of infants. Some people are so backward.


Yikes, that is horrible. :icon_eek: I can't believe someone would actually advocate that let alone someone doing it to an infant.

 

Wow, I could never imagine whipping an infant, that just breaks my heart.

But as for the original post, I have a screamer. It's gone off and on in stages for months now. I found the best thing is to ignore. I tried everything from trying to shush her (VERY POLITELY), to looking at her and speaking quietly, to telling her no firmly. NOTHING worked, so I just ignored it and waited for it to pass.