How strict are you about routines/schedule (18 months)?

I'm conditioned from 18 months of routine/schedule stress to be afraid to change anything. I think I'm suffering from some sorda twin mommy disease. We keep so many things really consistent and routine. But maybe it's time to loosen up? How do I gradually shift gears?


(we are trying a test day at a home day care tomorrow and I'm a nervous wreck)

 

I've been the opposite.....I grew up in a house that the schedule was strictly held to & things like being 1 minute late to breakfast b/c your room wasn't clean yet meant that you got no breakfast. Soooo....learning to have a schedule was tough for me! I quickly learned, though, that it makes my life so much easier when the babies get regular naps, etc. So we have a schedule, but it's a little flexible. For instance, if I have errands that I really need to get done I'll take them with me in the afternoon (trying to make sure the morning nap was a nice long one) and just take things with me that will help them sleep in the car. I'll pack special blankets, binkies, etc, if I know we'll be driving when they might be getting sleepy.

Sleeping times are about the only thing that I try super hard to keep regular. It's just not worth it if we don't! Meals & snacks are pretty easy. Playtime, I just play with them throughout the day in between chores.

 

Okay,
I'm not much for schedules so maybe I can help?

I work so during the week, we do have a strict morning schedule, we have to be out of the house by 8 so we can be at the daycare center no-later than 8:30 because the daycare center is strict and won't give them their breakfast if they arrive later than that!
But I really don't mind about things on the weekends at all. If they nap at different times? No problem, I just enjoy that rare one-on-one time with the one who is awake. And I never make them nap, I let them ask me for a nap (they always still do but I no the day when they stop napping is coming soon) We eat when we're hungry, I picked up the grazing habit in pregnancy and really perfer smaller meals all day rather than 3 squares so I'm okay with that on weekends too. I just make sure the fridge is stocked with quick healthy things for when hunger strikes. It's really hard to say how you could easy up because I think it's a personality thing. I'm a real go-with-the-flow type of person. (But I hate being late for set things, I can't stand the thought that I might have kept someone waiting)
I try to keep in mind that I want them to have happy memories and their education and development depends on me providing a variety of different activities, so I'm more than willing to scrap plans if sometime more exciting comes up. Also we never know how long the people in our lives will be around, so if some relative calls and wants us to do something, I would never decline becuase it would be at nap time or something. I always bring snacks were ever we go, so if the meal at Uncle Tony's house is later than the girls are use to eating, I can give them something when they are hungry and not worry about it. And get this--If we are out late and they fall asleep before we get home, I'll put them to bed without a bath (In their clothes even). Going a day without a bath won't kill them, and it's better they establish a good relationship with the special people in our lives.
So you could start by thinking about what you want to teach them about how to live in this world? What's important to you? What will you and they remember about these years (okay, they probably won't remember anything yet, but I like to think it is affecting them subconsiously)?

 

I always make sure that they have their naps if an outting runs late we try and keep thm awake till we get home so that we can get the 2-3 hrs break but that is really the only thing that we keep really strict is nap time.

 

I have gotten more relaxed about the schedule, but I was never super strict, just tried to do things around the same time, give or take 30 min. Now that they are not napping regularly, I'm not so concerned if we make it back home in time for lunch or nap. We're also doing a lot more things with the our Mom's group, and these things tend to run into what would normally be our lunch time. I just bring snacks or pack a lunch.
I'm also not freaking out about bedtime as much. They are getting older and able to handle being out a tad later (I'm talking like 8:00pm).

 

I think it is much easier to not have a strict schedule once they are down to one nap. Now that we are down to one nap and especially since it's summer and my oldest DD is not in school I'm pretty flexible. They can sleep til they wake up, although Trevor is still getting up around 6am , and they can nap as long as they need.

Now when school starts at the end of this month, I will need to have them down for a nap and wake them up at a certain time to get my oldest DD from school.

But really the only schedule we have is what time we have lunch around 11:30/12 and nap around 12:30. Other than that, it's pretty flexible.

 

I've never had them on a schedule, and sometimes I've stressed about that because of all the people who tell me I have to. But I don't like to be rigidly scheduled myself, so I can't see enforcing it with my kids - I just don't have that much will power!

 

My kids have been in daycare since 8 weeks, and I think that has made me loosen up some, because I have no control over what goes on there. But I'm still pretty routine-bound when they're at home. It's mostly for my own comfort -- I need to know what to expect. (I think I have the nervous system of an infant.) But that conflicts with my desire to get out & about more, which I've found increasingly satisfying since the girls hit 12 months or so. So, I try to flex the schedule once a week or so -- go out to dinner, go to the zoo even though I know it will mean a late (or no) nap, eat lunch on the run, etc. I've been pleasantly surprised with what they (and I) can tolerate.

 

We loosely follow a schedule, more strictly during the week. But on the weekends in the summer there's always something going on and we definitely stray from the schedule to accomodate all that fun stuff. When they are down to one nap it's a lot easier to stray.

My MIL is so, so routine dependent, that she gets crazy if things don't happen just they way they should and at the right time. I don't want my girls to end up quite like that! But in general, a schedule is good for them. They pretty much tell us when they are tired by climbing up the stairs and trying to climb into their beds.

 

I think the best way to gradually shift gears would be to gradually loosen up....ie: your kids are usually in pjs by 7:30 and in bed by 8 Pm, but it's 7:30p and you're still at a friends BBQ...take cues from the kids....do they seem cranky? tired? or are they running around happy as clams???? if they are ok, then you should be too (i wouldn't get home at 10pm, but maybe put pjs on at the friends house, and put them to bed at 9pm when you walk in the door)....then, see how they are the next day. If they don't seem any different, then you know that they can handle it....same goes for nap-time during the day. They usually nap at 1pm, but you're at a friends pool and they don't go down until 2pm....how are they when they wake up? is it harder for them to fall asleep at night? maybe put them down to bed a half hour later that day...

point is, take it day by day, see what the kids can handle, and gradually become more flexible...this is how i realized it was ok to sway from our routine. It's made my summer so much better, and we don't have to miss out on things!!! good luck!!

 

I too used to be crazy about their routine, mainly naps. After seeing that they can tolerate change when we're out and about experiences fun things has taught me that it's OK to flex things. It just takes some getting used to. They'll be fine!

 

QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Aug 15 2007, 03:04 PM) [snapback]369017[/snapback]
We loosely follow a schedule, more strictly during the week. But on the weekends in the summer there's always something going on and we definitely stray from the schedule to accomodate all that fun stuff. When they are down to one nap it's a lot easier to stray.
But in general, a schedule is good for them. They pretty much tell us when they are tired by climbing up the stairs and trying to climb into their beds.



This is how we feel too. It has gotten a little easier when they turned 4, but before then, you could almost set your watch by their cues to what they needed. (Food, nap, bed, diapers, etc.)