How much time will your SO take off when the twins are born?

For those expecting: How much time will your DH/SO be able to take off when the twins are born?
And for those reading who've already had their twins, how much time did your DH/SO take off when your twins were born?

Also, if you're comfortable sharing it, feel free to mention whether that's paternity leave, vacation time, sick leave, unpaid time off, etc. My FT/career work experience was all with one company, so I don't know have much compare to, but I feel like DH's current employer is rather stingy with the time off. (And they're very small--just 5 FT employees--so it's not like they couldn't change their leave policies if people made a good case for it ...)
But I'd love to get some perspective on (a) what other people are/were able to do for paternity leave and (b) How much time you all think is the minimum # of days you'd need your DH (or someone else as available, like a mom or whatever) available in those first days of bringing twins home.

 

I was so grateful that hubby was able to take the whole first month. HE has returned to work this week. He is alotted 5 weeks of vacation and 5 days of sick time so when we knew we were expecting we just stored up our days.

In my opinion the first week is a nessecity to have someone else there too! I had a c-section and had a really hard time as my incison burst open and has been leaking for a month now. It luckly is slowing up some but the first 2 weeks for us were really hard.

Good Luck

 

DH took 3 weeks - the week I was in the hospital and 2 weeks afterward...he had to use vacation time our company doesn't have "paternity leave" and since we work for the same company if he were to have taken FMLA it would have been deducted from MY FMLA time (gotta love the fed!)

 

We're lucky that my DH is part of a family business, so he's taking four weeks off completely, then has the option of working from home indefinately as long as he needs to after that.

 

My husband was in the middle of switching jobs when the girls came home from the NICU so he wasn't able to take any time off. Thankfully he is a firefighter so he only works about 3 days a week (72 hours), but it was still really hard.

 

Dh will be taking a few vaca days, and probably some half/vaca days after the birth, but he has to use vaca time for it. He can't use FMLA until his vaca time is used up. We're single income so he can't take any unpaid time off. And we enjoy using vaca time for actual vacations so we don't want to use it all up after the babies come.

So right now, he'll take the day of the c/s off, whenever that is, and probably a couple of days while we're in the hospital. Then once the babies come home he'll for sure take some half days off. If my mother comes to help for awhile he'll save his half days for when she goes home so we can have some continuous help for awhile.

 

My DH took the first month off. He used FMLA, which is unpaid, but we'd saved for him to take the time.

 

I almost hate to respond since I am American, but live in Canada and I too could not believe what Canada offers for a parental leave. My DH has a total of 35 weeks off, for 60% of his wage. He can also earn so much money before it is taken out of the parental leave pay. Parental leave also isn't taxed the same way...so in all of this he almost earns as much as he does when he is working.

Crazy huh! I always feel for my American friends and cannot believe how lucky Canadians are sometimes. I really don't understand why more Canadians don't take their parental leave...unless it is a money factor.

 

My husband took off a week and had to take vacation days.

 

My DH was supposed to get 1 week off (that was his employer's paternity leave policy), but then sort of "jokingly" argued that if we'd had 2 kids in 1 year, he'd have gotten 2 weeks off, so how was this any different? They took it seriously, considered it, and then decided he could have the 2 weeks. We were very surprised! And I was SO thankful, b/c I had a tough time recovering after my c-section.

 

My DH took off 3 weeks, and used his vacation time. We needed to make sure someone was getting full pay. 8 months later when I went back to full time, we had daycare issues, so he took another month off (using FMLA) unpaid. Your DH is entitled to the 3 montths FMLA just like you are, unpaid. And it doesn't need to be taken all at one time ... FYI.

 

DH works for a small company that has enough employess to get FMLA and he took his sick time as well for only 2 weeks. Which was good cause he ended up needing all the rest of his sick time and Paid time off and FMLA time when I went back into the hospital for the infection and then again when both boys were sick. His employer is very family centered and they were very generous with time off. They even donated ET hours to him. In total it was about a month off an on.

 

DH is a teacher and my c/s will be right before Christmas break, so he gets 2 weeks for free. He gets two weeks of vacation and we've used about a week so far with doctor's appts and delivery scares since I've been in the hospital. We'll save the last week for when the girls get home.

 

My DH only gets 2 -3 days off he works for a small company they only have him and the boss thats how small .. and hes not a full time right now bc i cant drive and im always in the dr lol

 

My husband got 1 day off when the girls were born. He left work when I went into labor and was there with me that night, and then had the following day and night off. He had to go back to work and leave us in the hospital.

 

My DH took 3 weeks off (he used vacation time). Unfortunately one of those weeks was when the girls were in the NICU. Knowing what we know now, he would have worked while they were in the NICU and had that extra week when they came home. I definitely needed him more when the girls were home, but of course we spent all week with them in the NICU and never left their side even though they were just feeders and growers mostly.

 

Mine took 5 weeks off. Luckily he was off the day i had them anyways (it was suposed to be my 32 week scan) so he went into work the next day told everybody and then took the rest of the week off. He went back to work for the next 3 weeks when the babies were in the hospital and when the babies came home he was off for another 4 weeks. He got 2 weeks paternity and took 3 weeks holiday. x

 

My girls were born on a Sunday, 9 weeks early. DH took Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off (I went home on Tuesday). So 3 days, vacation time. They did not offer any paternity specified time off.

Then when Lily came home after 5 weeks, he didn't take any time off (she came home on a Saturday). A week later, also on a Saturday, Grace came home. DH went to work on Monday and Tuesday, then took Wednesday through Friday off, for 3 more vacation days. We would have visitors on the weekend, but we had no official help.

It went fine that way. I even went back to work (from home) before I had found a nanny. I did borrow my niece for help a lot during that time, and eventually found my nanny who worked M-F 8-5, while I was working. I had a very flexible job and a lot of paid time off, but DH only get 2 weeks paid a year.

 

My DH took seven weeks off. His employer paid him the entire seven weeks. It's a firm where they bill a certain number of hours each month and don't get any official vacation or sick time. They volunteered to pay him when he requested unpaid leave. We were quite surprised. I was very glad to have him home, especially since one of my girls spent 30 days as a feeder/grower at the hospital. Having him home meant one of us could stay home with Cricket while the other visited Piper.

But just to give a different perspective, I work for the government, which everyone thinks of as having great benefits. There is no maternity or paternity leave through the government, nor is there short term disability. So, I had to use up all of my sick and vacation time in order to be paid while I was off work.

 

once we have the babies he will be taking of time to watch our other 2 kids, once we are all home he is taking of 2 weeks

 

DH will be off for 6 weeks. 4 Weeks parental leave and 2 weeks family sick leave. 100% paid! am so happy that he will be home with us!

Jenn

 

With our two present children DH took off for a week both times. He worked for the same company for 8 yrs and they were fabulous in the regard that they actually gave him an extra paid wk of vacation, so when he stayed home he didn't lose the already earned 2 wks. Now he works for a different company, and although the pay is good, the benefits are not as good yet since he hasn't been there for very long (almost a year). He will likely only take off while I'm delivering and then maybe another day at the hospital. We haven't even duscussed what we're going to do with Owen and Jocelyn yet when it comes time to go to the hospital, but we're fortunate in that we have a close network of friends and both sets of parents live within 6 miles of us. I imagine we'll be using that network while I'm home, too, since he'll have to work.

 

Thanks for all the replies. DH thinks he'll only be able to take off a few days, and we have no family within 600 miles of us. My little sis will be here 12/24-1/4 so if they're born by 37w3d she'll be here. We do have a few local friends who have offered to help but I'm not sure how that will pan out. I so wish DH could be available to help me with those nighttime feedings the first week or two while I'm trying to figure out how to BF (one let alone two!), without having to worry about also working his normal ~50 hrs/wk.

 

Our twins are two weeks old today and are still in the NICYU. Born at 33.4wks. DH has taken the last two weeks off and plans to stay till a week after they are home. He works in construction and he currently based on a job four hrs away. He usually only comes home every other weekend. (It is a family company and it has been paid leave)

 

My DH was able to take off the afternoon that I was having our emergency delivery. That's it. Our twins were in the NICU, he saw them after work. He works for a HUGE company, unfortunately, he manages a sales team. We've gotten use to the idea that "if Daddy doesn't work, we don't eat!" and we just go with it. On that note, our twins were just hospitalized (again, our daughter was in CHLA for a month and it was the second time for our son), and he still can't take time off. We manage. When the twins were split up my mother has been able to fly in from out of state to help us, she was here . Otherwise, I have always felt that the earlier I learned to handle my twins without help (including my DH) the better. He will get up with me in the middle of the night if it is out of control, if it's normal feeding/teething/crying not so much. He can't function the next day if he didn't sleep the night before (woe is me!).

IF your DH can't help, and your mother can't bail you out (like me for a month!), make PLANS with your friends who want to help. What kind of help do you need? Do you need dinner? Do you want someone to feed babies while you sleep in the afternoon? If you have a "C" what will you do? When they ask what they can do to help you HAVE to tell them or it will never work. I had one of my elder son's football buddies mother bring him home from football practice every day for two months (it was on the way, and her son came to my house during the summer between summer school and football).

Regarding the bf - shoot a post to the bf forum, those ladies are awesome and will be a fantastic resource for you. If your DH can't help you, you can do it on your own. I did. I know some women really want their DH to wake up and help, but I could never figure out how if the milk came from me... changing diapers takes no time at all.

All I am trying to say is you can do this, and it's not bad!!! (Even if you don't live in Canada - WOW!!!)