How much time do you spend playing with your babies?

I'm just curious as this is a major guilt-inducing issue for me. It is hard, very hard, for me to just leave the babies playing by themselves on the floor while I do things like laundry, dishes, etc. I feel like I need to be down on the floor playing with them, talking to them, etc. I remember feeling this way with my older DS - but I was also working on my master's degree so there were times I HAD to let him play alone so I could finish up an assignment, study for a test, etc.

They do really well playing by themselves - and I try to spend as much time as possible right next to them playing, singing, building block towers, etc. but I know that it is important for them to play alone (and important for me to do such necessary things like laundry!) - yet I still feel guilty!

Does anyone else struggle with this?

How much time do you spend just playing (not counting feeding, bathing, dressing, bedtime routines, etc.)?

Thanks!

 

On and off all day really. They play with each other a lot, but I'm here to watch and play some too. Of course, sometimes I just watch as I'm doing other things like going on TS .

 

I'd say, they are awake 2 hours, I play with them 20-30 minutes, and spend another 20-30 minutes with each of them feeding, changing etc (I play with them at the same time and still feed them one at a time in my arms). I usually cut their awake time so they're not on their own longer than 30 minutes (and I keep checking on them but they're in a safe area).

But yes I feel very guilty when I'm not with them all the time. But they play very well on their own for an hour at a time sometimes and I'm really glad that they are independent... I think it's important too. I never do one hour unless I'm sick though... Honestly though there's only so much I can do. DS will be sitting up playing with his toys whether I'm there or not, and if I hold DD she just squirms to go down on the floor again. I'm looking forward to when I can really play with them, and not just give them toys they can only play with on their own... they don't really play with interactive toys yet.

 

I don't quantify it. I go about my day, accomplishing what I need to (cleaning, laundry, meals, et al), and they play at my feet. I interact with them in various ways continually, but I don't go out of my way to "play" with them, but instead involve them in what I'm doing (if I'm loading the dishwasher, they're playing with cups and spoons on the floor in the kitchen, etc.).

Honestly, IMO, the best thing for them is to be a part of your daily experience - they aren't necessarily the center of attention all of the time, but have a vital role in the day-to-day functioning of the family, which is far more important.

 

QUOTE(ChelleBadger @ Oct 13 2008, 12:33 PM) [snapback]1024376[/snapback]
I don't quantify it. I go about my day, accomplishing what I need to (cleaning, laundry, meals, et al), and they play at my feet. I interact with them in various ways continually, but I don't go out of my way to "play" with them, but instead involve them in what I'm doing (if I'm loading the dishwasher, they're playing with cups and spoons on the floor in the kitchen, etc.).

Honestly, IMO, the best thing for them is to be a part of your daily experience - they aren't necessarily the center of attention all of the time, but have a vital role in the day-to-day functioning of the family, which is far more important.


I agree with you - the daily experiences are important. We do this, too. If I'm playing a board game with my 4-year-old, they are sitting next to us (but not close enough that they can topple the game over!). If I'm folding laundry, they are sitting on the floor next to me playing with the plastic hangers, the washclothes, etc.

I do also try to spend "enough" (subjective concept, I know) time playing with them, on their level, with toys, etc.

Thanks for reminding me that the daily routine activities count as play, too!

 

Its hard for me to put a time on it. I guess I pretty much involve them in almost anything I'm doing. Sometimes they are in the den playing and I'm in the kitchen, but they can still still me since those rooms are connected. If I go get the laundry they might be alone for a minute, but then I come back and they 'help' me fold the laundry. I started doing this when they were tiny! Helping back then meant me holding up clothes and identifying things about it. Helping today means dumping out the basket so they can climb on top ... they also fetch clothes for me and this is how we practice colors. I think you have to try not to feel guilty and compare yourself with other moms. Everyone has their own style and if you kids are happy and thriving then thats a sign that everything is all good. :hug:

 

It must be nice We have two dogs who are not allowed near the babies yet, and our living room (the play area) is tiny, so unless I'm reading a book, there's nothing for me to do in the living room... and because of the dogs they're confined to the living room for now (plus our kitchen is a baby death trap).

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Oct 13 2008, 01:26 PM) [snapback]1024495[/snapback]
Its hard for me to put a time on it. I guess I pretty much involve them in almost anything I'm doing. Sometimes they are in the den playing and I'm in the kitchen, but they can still still me since those rooms are connected. If I go get the laundry they might be alone for a minute, but then I come back and they 'help' me fold the laundry. I started doing this when they were tiny! Helping back then meant me holding up clothes and identifying things about it. Helping today means dumping out the basket so they can climb on top ... they also fetch clothes for me and this is how we practice colors. I think you have to try not to feel guilty and compare yourself with other moms. Everyone has their own style and if you kids are happy and thriving then thats a sign that everything is all good. :hug:



You're right about trying not to feel guilty, I know there is no point in feeling guilty! And I'm not trying to necessarily compare myself, I'm just curious, I guess, about how much time people actually spend on the floor playing versus doing other activities around the house and including their kids in these activities, if that makes sense?

I feel like my DS and babies are just about always included in what I am doing, whether that be laundry, cleaning, etc. - but sometimes I feel like I'm not spending enough time just slowing down, sitting on the floor, and losing myself in play. I don' t know if I'm being clear or not, though? :huh:

 

I spend probably 1.5 hour with them on the floor most days... but they're not involved in what I'm doing in the house. It's just impossible in this house, like I said above, because of the way the house is set up and the dogs. Unless I'm holding one while I'm at the computer.

 

I try to play as much as I can. I try to make dinner and do chores when they are playing by themselves. I feel as long as they are not crying, they are having a good time. I would guess when they are awake I am playing with them about 70% of the time. I feel more guilty about my 2 year old. He gets mommy time only after they go to bed at 7:30 and till he goes to bed around 8:30-9. So as long as no one is crying I think they are fine alone!

 

I work, so not near as much time as I would like. We get home and play for about half an hour, they eat with me right there talking to them and messing with them, then we eat while they are in the playroom alone or in walkers, then it's bathtime (1/2 hr) or playtime (1 hr) depending on the night with a little playtime (1/2 hr) after bathtime before bottles and bed. We try to be engaged with them one way or another pretty much at all times on weeknights except when we sit down to dinner. Now on the weekends we will sneak out of the playroom at any given opportunity to do laundry, dishes, etc. Unfortunately those things don't do themselves. I also think it's a great sign that they WILL play together now rather than only wanting us.

I've had trouble with the guilt as well. I never feel like I have enough time for them or I'm exhausted and/or sick when I do have the time.

 

I try to spend as much time with them on the floor when they are awake. Sometimes I watch in amazement as my dh gets on the computer or does something else, I feel bad if I am not in their faces all the time. That being said, I would say I am with them playing 85% of the time they are awake. I also work away from the home 3 days a week, so there could be some guilt in there for me.

 

maybe 20min in between naps? so..whats that about 1-2hours a day. otherwise we're changing, feeding, or im doing laundry, dishes, etc.