How much is too much?

So I've been a SAHM for a total of 2 days now and am going crazy. I can't get anything done (and there's lots to do since we just moved) with these boys! We have no cable, but have 1 Backyardigans DVD with 4 episodes and I find myself playing it all day long. Now they don't sit and watch it the whole time, they play and usually stop to watch some songs but I still feel really guilty.

I haven't been home with them since they were 11 months old and feel like I have no idea what to do with them. I did go out last night and bought some toys and crayons...etc. But that still doesn't solve my problem of needing some peace to get stuff done.

Should I be keeping the TV off most of the day?

 

I definitely wouldn't leave the TV on all day long. I usually let my girls watch a DVD for about 20 or 30 minutes while I'm cooking dinner, but that's it. If they're really cranky or it's been raining all day or something like that I might let them watch an extra half hour in the morning.

Things to do besides watch TV: take a walk outside, go to the mall and walk around, visit the library, walk around a store like Target or WalMart, go to a park and play, have a picnic lunch outside, read books, etc.

My girls are about the same age as your boys. We're probably a little more limited because neither of my girls is walking yet, but we try and get out of the house at least once everyday, often times twice. We go to the gym in the morning for about an hour and a half. In the afternoon after they nap we usually do something off the list above that requires getting out of the house.

Hope that helps

 

Thanks for the suggestions.

We were planning on going to the mall today but DH took the stroller with him in his car. I guess we'll be going to Wal-mart!

I have taken them for a walk but I'm having problems with my sciatic nerve this pregnancy so I don't know how many we'll be able to go on. We tried coloring this morning, but they decided to eat the crayons so that didn't work.

I'm sure I'll get the hang of this SAHM stuff, but the transition is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I don't know them

 

I would definitely turn off the TV, though I can certainly understand the temptation, but babies just don't learn well from tv. Babies/toddlers learn with play, and lots of it. Is there any place that they can play safely without 100% eye-on- them-every-minute supervision? I find myself giving them lots of free play time, though often it's fighting, but that's ok b/c they're learning to work things out. I would get some new exciting toys, like ride on toys or new blocks, and let them entertain themselves a little bit. Also, I can't say enough for a tiny baby pool or a sand and water table outside in a shady spot. They love it! You poor thing, I can't imagine doing this as preggo as you are... no wonder you're pooped. Give the SAHM thing a while and you'll start feeling more into it with time... it is the hardest job, but the most rewarding, too!

 

I let my twins watch some of their favorite programs, but it doesn't stay on all day long. Sometimes, I put in a DVD that has songs with children singing. They really like it alot, while they are playing. I probably let my two watch more tv than they should, but most of the time the tv is just on. They usually aren't even watching it.

I just want to add that I know it is hard to be a SAHM. Before I had twins, I worked all the time working two jobs. Now, I go stir crazy with cabin fever all day. I want to get out, but it is too hot for my two to be outside for long. If I take them to the park, they run in opposite directions. Plus, how many days of the week can you stroll around Wal-mart??

I bought my two crayons, also. My DS tried eating his, and my DD was coloring on the wall!!

 

At that age mine were starting to really like playdough . . . you do have to supervise, because they do try to eat it, but it's made entirely out of food products, so at least it's not dangerous (you can find lots of recipes online for making homemade playdough - I actually like it better than the store bought stuff).

Did you just move to a new area? Do you know any other families nearby? To me that would be key - meeting some other SAHMs and their kids. Try playgrounds if you can manage on your own, and then just be very forward and introduce yourself to other moms, invite them for playdates, don't be shy! The other thing is to ask around about playgroups. We live in a pretty rural area, but I was pleased to discover two different organizations that have planned playgroups (one you have to sign up for and it costs $5, organized through Early Intervention but open to the whole community, the other is just through a non-profit, and they have drop-in playgroups several times a week). Playgroups have been great because they get us out of the house, the kids play with other kids, I can talk to other adults, and there are lots of other moms and also facilitators to help out since there's only one of me with two kids.

That said, I use the TV too, but I try really hard to limit it to 30 minutes/day. On days when I'm completely on my own and the weather is bad we may do more than that, but that's usually the exception.

Good luck!

-Rachel

 

I have to disagree with the pp who said kids don't learn from tv. I keep the tv on Playhouse Disney, Nick Jr, or Noggin all day for the kids. I can't tell you how many Spanish words Ally knows from watching Dora. She knows a bunch of animals and facts about them from Diego. She knows instruments from Little Einsteins...it goes on and on. Then, she takes whatever the storyline was from the show and sometimes she'll play pretend based off of what the show was about. Jack is Autistic, so I don't know what all he's absorbed from the shows, but he does recognize certain things that I know he could only have seen on tv.

It's not like they sit still and stare at the tv all day. But they do look up while they're playing to watch certain parts of the shows. I'm not saying you should scrap other acitivities and have them totally focused on the tv, that's silly, but don't beat yourself up over having a movie in or the tv on during the day.

As for some activities, I like crafty stuff, finger paints are good, so is painting with water books. You can also add some food coloring to shaving cream and let them paint in the bathtub with it. Make a tent under your table or card table and have a picnic. Let them string Fruit Loops or Apple Jacks on long strings of yarn.

 

i think some tv is ok too....my girls are only 13 month and love blues clues and dora too, they dance to the music...and i own 4 baby esitein dvds which i think are great because they have baby sign language and they girls love them.
you are doing a great job at being a sahm....keep up the good work

 

My TV is on all day. From morning to night. 90% of the time on Noggin, or Nick JR. or PBS in the mornings. They don't watch it all day. They usually are in the room playing with something or in their bedroom playing. Dakota does love Blue's Clues. That he will actually sit an watch, but the rest of the time it is just on. They like the music that plays on them, but other than that, they aren't into the tv. granted, I know probably word for word on all the shows since they are repeated hundreds of times, :-(. They are really into books now, so that is what most of the day entails. Unfortunatley, we have one vehicle and don't get out much when DH is at work. And Logan is a SCREAMER, so having the tv on, even on kids shows is somewhat of a tune out for me if needed. If I put on CD's (can only do with our DVD player) the screen saver on the TV draws them to it and they will sit there forever watching the RCA logo go round and round, so I can't do that. I believe some shows (especially on Noggin and Nick Jr) the kids can learn from. Now if they are watching soaps, thats a different story.

Keri

20 month old twin boys

 

I think you should cut yourself some slack until you are settled into your new home. Then you can work on a routine with them.

 

QUOTE(Jill R. @ Jul 5 2007, 03:40 PM) [snapback]318453[/snapback]
I have to disagree with the pp who said kids don't learn from tv. I keep the tv on Playhouse Disney, Nick Jr, or Noggin all day for the kids. I can't tell you how many Spanish words Ally knows from watching Dora. She knows a bunch of animals and facts about them from Diego. She knows instruments from Little Einsteins...it goes on and on. Then, she takes whatever the storyline was from the show and sometimes she'll play pretend based off of what the show was about. Jack is Autistic, so I don't know what all he's absorbed from the shows, but he does recognize certain things that I know he could only have seen on tv.

It's not like they sit still and stare at the tv all day. But they do look up while they're playing to watch certain parts of the shows. I'm not saying you should scrap other acitivities and have them totally focused on the tv, that's silly, but don't beat yourself up over having a movie in or the tv on during the day.


DITTO DITTO DITTO!!! I find it so frustrating that people make such a big freakin deal about the t.v. I also have my t.v. on almost all day with the same channels mentioned above and let me tell you, my kids are learning to say sooooooo many words from these shows. My girls say go diego go, dora, Elmo, ball, and lot's and lots of other words. They dance to the music from some of the shows. My daughter learned to turn around in a circle from watching the opening theme to Backyardigans. They actually can imitate many of the dances from the Wiggles. There is just so much educational opportunities to learn from with these shows. My girls don't sit there and stare at the tv all day long. They play mostly and I read them a gazillion books a day that they bring over to me to read to them. They look up at certain songs that they hear and like but they are not glued to the set. I personally need the background noise and feel like I would go crazy without it. Like pp said there are only so many times that I can go to Wal-mart or Target or the mall and to be honest, my girls do NOT like to be sitting in their stroller for too long before they start having a fit. Only one is walking but she immediately tries to walk away from me so me by myself with 2 is just difficult right now. I have tried crayons and stickers but they just aren't ready yet. There's just not a whole lot to do with them at this stage. I wouldn't feel so bad about having them watch t.v. so you can get some things done and/or have a mental break. And as you said, they are mostly playing while it's on so they don't sound like they are turning into tv zombies or anything. When they get older and are walking more proficiently and can understand and talk more, I think there will be more opportunity to do things with them that don't involve the t.v. but in the mean time, do what you have to do for your sanity! JMO

 

Thank you so much for all of your replies!

I still feel so bad for them since they were in Daycare before and could play with all their toys/other kids, plus they did things like circle time. They must be so bored now!

I guess we just need to find our own groove with activities that are preggo mommy friendly and exciting for them. Yesterday we ended up going to the mall - I found out I could rent a double stroller right there and they loved just sitting and looking around at everything. I thought about the library or pool, but I just don't know if I can handle them both by myself right now. It was hard carrying them in the mall, I can't imagine chasing them at the library. My mom has plans to come and do things with us, but she's still a ways away and can maybe come once a week, if that. Today she's coming and we're going grocery shopping and baby proofing this place more

We tried crayons again, but there's no drawing and lots of eating so that's out. I think I'll try the playdough although I think they are too young for that too. One thing they love is their cars, they can play with them all day long, driving them on furniture, etc... But I worry that that's not "learning" oriented enough. At the same time I'm having trouble keeping both their attention at the same time, usually one wants me for one thing and the other for another.

*sigh*

We'll just have to tough it out in this place for the next 8 weeks, then at least we'll have a backyard for them to go crazy in.

 

When I first became a SAHM my girls were the same age as your babies. AND we just moved to a new place. My girls were also in daycare full time before that so I understand your anxiety! I used to have a schedule that was sort of similar to daycare but I used T.V. more then most, I guess.

When they first woke up I gave them breakfast and let them watch an episode (or two) on Noggin or Disney or PBS. I was able to have my coffee, shoot off an e-mail, get dressed,etc. After t.v we would read books, do playdoh, sing songs, etc. Then I would have snack time and put on music or maybe another episode so I could do dishes, laundry, etc. We would then go to the park or for a walk or sit on the porch. Then we would eat lunch together, more books, then nap ( I would usually clean, make a phone call or nap with them!). After nap we would play something together (stuffed animals, magic slates, bubbles). Then we would have another snack time. After snack time I would put on another episode (or two) so I could cook for dinner. We would eat dinner together (DH works late) and then bath, pajamas, books and bedtime. All in all we probably watch 2-3 hours of t.v a day. I really don't think it is bad as long as you offer variety in the day (not just t.v.) and as long as you know what they are watching.

GOOD LUCK!!!! It is the toughest job you will ever love. Use this board as much as you can. It saved my life!

Keep us posted....
Lisa

 

I also have left the tv on during the day. Actually, most days in my house it's on (Noggin usually). They have never sat in front of the tv all day long. They play, color etc and then they watch if something catches their ears or eyes. I also wouldn't beat yourself up over keeping the tv on. You will get into a pattern it will just take a little time for it to happen.

There are a lot of Baby Einstein videos that are still appropriate for their age level. Also, one that I recommend is 'They Might Be Giants: Here Come the ABC's". My girls still like watching it. Its basically music videos that are all about the ABC's. So, there is something on but its entertaining and educational. Laurie Berkner music videos are good too.

As far as coloring, maybe you could try Color Wonder markers? They'll still need to be supervised but at least they won't be able to chew off the plastic.

I would try finding a local moms club. I know that its hard with you being pregnant and all but it's worth a try. I'm sure that your two would like being around other kids and you'd enjoy meeting new moms in your area too. And, does your local mall have a kids' play area? It would give you a little break and maybe you'd meet moms there too.

QUOTE
If I put on CD's (can only do with our DVD player) the screen saver on the TV draws them to it and they will sit there forever watching the RCA logo go round and round, so I can't do that.


Keri, on my tv you can play the DVD player, VCR or stereo component without having the tv on. It's like keeping your computer turned on without having the monitor turned on. Check to see if you can still use your DVD player without having your tv on. I bet it works.

 

QUOTE(MichelleS @ Jul 6 2007, 08:12 PM) [snapback]320296[/snapback]
Keri, on my tv you can play the DVD player, VCR or stereo component without having the tv on. It's like keeping your computer turned on without having the monitor turned on. Check to see if you can still use your DVD player without having your tv on. I bet it works.


I have tried that. The DVD player I have is old, one when they first come out. I still works so I haven't had the need to get a new one. I used to have a surround sound one that I can use by itself without the TV but That was a piece of crap and it broke so I am just down to this one. That's ok though. Just like the others said, my kids love the music on the shows on Noggin and such. They rarely ever sit and watch tv, more of just background noise so I don't go nuts. If the TV is off, they sit in front of it staring at their reflection and yelling at themselves and me for not have the "noise machine" on...lol

Keri

 

I would say give yourself a while and you'll get into a routine.

I used to find I would be better to go out in the morning, so up dressed and out to playgroup, park, etc.. then after lunch would do colouring/playdough and of course free time playing and hopefully nap too.

I just put tv on while I get my shower and then while dinner unless its been a rough day and then they may get an extra 1/2 hour show.

I'm not knocking TV but find for my girls if they don't have tv for a day (ie I get up early to shower), they are more focused on their toys and activities, if they watch a lot of tv then I find for the rest of the day they are less focused and keep asking for the TV. Just speaking about my girls though.


amanda

 

At that age, I think they really need an adult to be playing with them and paying attention to them as much as possible. Especially because it's an unsettling time for the kids with the move and being taken out of their daycare routine. This might sound harsh, but I think you just have to come to terms with the fact that you're not going to get things done around the house while the kids are awake. Do as much as you can when they are napping or after they're down for the night, but awake time is their time with mommy.


I also moved when the kids were 18 months old and remember being so frustrated that I couldn't unpack and get settled for a long time. I finally had to ask my mom to stay with me and help for a week so that we didn't have to live out of boxes. Looking back, I should have known better than to think I could get anything done except the bare minimum day to day stuff. Hang in there, and good luck with your move!