How much help did you have after the birth?

I was just wondering how much help (if any) and who helped you out after the birth of your twins.

I am due any day now and my mom is flying in to stay with us for 10 days (the babies will probably be about 2 weeks old at that point). My husband will work from home for a couple weeks after the birth. We will be getting meals brought to us for about 2-3 weeks from people at our church. I currently have (and will continue this after the birth for probably a few months) my MIL here on Mondays from 10-4, my SIL on Tuesdays from 12-4, a mother's helper on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 9-3 (whom we pay), and my husband will be working at home on Fridays. I'm a homeschooling mom with 4 other children (I'm only homeschooling the 2 oldest right now). I'm hoping this will be enough help, but I'm debating on asking my MIL if she can help a bit more, but I'm not sure if I'm expecting too much from her; she never seems like she wants to be here and she always complains that coming to our house makes her tired.

Just curious what other people's situations were and maybe that will help me make my decision.

Thanks!

Looking forward to joining you all soon in the First Year!

 

My DH was home for about 1.5 weeks after they were born. My parents and my IL's came over to bring dinner and visit a few times a week for the first 2-3 weeks, but that was pretty much it. We live close to both sets of parents, but my Mom works and my Dad was medically retired (couldn't have done too much with the kids). They were good about taking our oldest whenever we wanted some help with her or wanted her to have some special one on one time. Once they got a bit older, the IL's and my parents (mostly my Mom) were able to watch them for longer periods of time and then they would spend the night here and there. But, for right after the birth....not a huge amount of help, although I won't complain. There are lots of women who do it solo and I have no idea how they do it.

 

I was VERY blessed. Both my mom and my dh's parents live here in town. Our twins spent 11 days in the NICU but thankfully it was during summer break so my mom kept our oldest busy while I was at the hospital. When they came home my mom was over daily. As far as help with food etc I was BLESSED with great friends. We had a meal delievered every other day (sometimes everyday) for 4 months and I had a couple of friends come by about half way through the 4 months of meals and clean out our fridge and pantry to get rid of all leftovers and just get it good and clean.

 

DH stayed at home for one week and when he went back to work my mom stayed with me for 5 weeks. That was pretty much it. Our families live in Europe which makes things a bit more difficult for me. I'm basically NEVER without my babies and that can be a bit much at times. I can deal with the workload I just wish I had a little more me time.

 

I was VERY blessed as well... my mother stayed with us for the first 8 weeks!! My MIL lives just down the road, so she came buy to help with dinner, laundry, babies as often as she could. My mother is retired and these are her first grand kids, so she was more than happy to stay as long as we let her. DH was very thankful too, so that made it easy. It would have been much more difficult without her. We were all able to get decent sleep, as we did it in shifts. I wouldn't change the way we handled it one bit. Like I said, I am very blessed.

Best of luck!! Take all the help that is offered, and be thankful for every minute with the babies, but also every minute of rest!

 

I really didn't have any help. My XH did stay home for about a month after their birth. He helped with feedings a lot.
We didn't have any family close by and all of our friends worked a lot, so we didn't have anyone coming over to help.

 

We did not have much help for the first 2 months. Mine were 32 weekers. And we declined to give them shots at the hopspital. So Doc said no visitation for the first 2 months (i believe). However, my dad cooked food and brought over for us every day. It was a big help. We lived in our living for the first 2 months. They were on 3 hour schedule. at each feeding, i changed them fed them, then put them down again and i slept until next feeding hehe. My husband and I took care of them in the day. at night we took turns, He slept from 11 to 5, then i slept from 5 to 11 something like that. It worked so well for us....After their 2 month check up, the got shots. Then we let only family come over. And my family was able to help alot. Dont worry too much. You will be fine. Just prepare to be on survival mode. The important thing is feeding schedule. feed them at the same time. take turn to take care of them with your mom or husband. I suggest 3 hour feeding schedule. Do you plan on breast feeding them. If so, i strongly suggest you to visit breast feeding forum. You will find good info and excellent support there.

Right now just rest and sleep ad much as you can. When they come out, the work will begin. And welcome to FY! oh if you have time now, check out 'the happiest baby on the block', you can get it on amazon or check it out from your local library.

 

DH stayed home with me the first week, and his parents were there to help us with the older kids and cooking and cleaning. Then, DH went back to work and his parents went home to Colorado. My dad came and stayed with us for week 2.

After that, I had their future nanny come and watch them from like 10-2 Tue & Thur so I could get some sleep. I was very sleep-deprived in the beginning, so knowing that she was coming to help a bit and clean the house really gave me some relief.

Looking back, I think the amount of help I had was just right. I guess I could have always used more, but we did fine with that.

 

My mom stayed with my in the hospital the first 2 nights, my dad the 3rd night. I went home alone, was alone the first week. William ended up back in the hospital the saturday of the week we came home. Discharged with both twins the Monday, William was admitted to the hospital the Sat. My father stayed with William at the hospital the Saturday night, my mom drove down from Toronto sunday morning and stayed with him the week. I was home with Nathaniel and m 2 yr old. Their father worked. My mom went home the sunday, 7 days later, and my father came down from Toronto and stayed with William the 2nd week he was in hospital. Once William was dischaged I came up to Toronto for 2 weeks. My sister helped out as did my parents. THen I returned home and was pretty much alone until I moved back home when I left the boys father a yr ago Valentines day. Sounds like you have a good schedule worked out help wise. Good luck!

 

I didn't have any help other than my husband. I have a 19 year old, 14 year old and 3 year old. My oldest son helped out a lot by running errands or picking up his sister from school, soccer practice, Girl Scouts, etc. My older daughter helped out a great deal keeping the 3 year old busy, watching movies with her, making her a sandwich, etc. So it was really just my husband and I. He was home for 2 weeks and then he went back to work part time. I feel I am very blessed because even though I had a c-section, I was able to be out and about in about a week. My boys were also out and about because they just go with me everywhere. I went to the store and to church or wherever I had to go. I was tired a lot but my hubby is the best and he was there at every feeding, diaper change and bath (He's the best!!). He also would watch the babies if I needed a nap. For food, we would either get take out or just make something easy like spaghetti or sandwiches. My family is not picky so they just go with the flow.

Don't worry too much, once the you get a routine you'll be able to do it, no problem!

 

I don't have any other kids, so that made things easier for us. My babies were in the NICU for 3 and four weeks. My mom stayed with us for a week when Jude came home. Then my MIL came for the next week when Leo came home when we finally had both babies home with us. That was enough help for me. Our home isn't too big, and I was ready to try and start to get into a routine and learn to do it for ourselves. My Dh took off a week or so once family was gone. My DH usually works from home anyway, so we have always cared for the babies together for the most part. So basically, I had help for two weeks.

 

I'm not in this particular forum anymore. But I do homeschool. We stopped homeschooling during those early weeks. It was just not possible. The boys still read and did some math, just to keep up their skills. My Mom came and cleaned my house for me twice. But, I was hoping for help with the twins instead of the house, so DH hired someone to clean the house every other week for maybe about 2 or 3 months. That was helpful, but a lot of work to pick up before they got there to clean.

I'm sure we had some meals, but I honestly don't remember. My sister kept the big boys while we were in the hospital. My guys were in the NICU for 2 weeks. That was the most difficult part because we couldn't take the boys in with us all the time, so my Dad came and watched the big boys a couple of times in the waiting area, so we could see the twins together. After that, we were on our own. DH worked from home for the first few months, but by the time they were 7 months old, he lost his job. The quantity of work was just too much for me alone to accomplish. My oldest DS could be some help, but not with breastfeeding and changings. I still needed someone to hand one twin to me after I got one latched on. And someone to take one twin so I wouldn't drop them both. This was after they were exclusively bfd'ing. for a while they had to be on higher calorie expressed breastmilk bottles with cereal (for reflux).

Physically I didn't heal well from this C/S. It was my 3rd, but went horribly. So I had difficulty moving around for a long time.

Everyone deals so differently with things. You may need less help than someone else, or more. I would have loved to have my Mom there even one afternoon a week for a nap or help with laundry, or even to have taken the big boys to the park.

I hope your birth is perfect! Congratulations!

 

I had my DH home for a week and then I was on my own!!!!! My MIL would come after work, but that wasn't until 7pm and DD1 goes to bed at 8pm....So it's definitely doable!!!

 

My dh took two weeks off, but seeing how he works with his father, he still went in here and there. :aggressive: We didn't have any other help really. I was recovering from a c/s. We have all of our family in town, but it's not like they moved in with us. They would stop by after work, maybe make dinner, or pick up dinner. I could get a nap here or there. After two weeks though-we were well on our own. I stayed home with them and dh went to work. It is definitely doable!

 

I had no help. It never really occurred to me to have help.

 

Replace "with his father" with "worked for a bunch of losers that couldn't get their heads out of their @sses if the building was on fire"

 

Mine were a couple of months early, so they were in the hospital for a while. I didn't have any help when they came home though. My husband is only home on the weekends, so he helped then, but other than that it was just me. I really kind of liked it that way. Gave me a chance to get to know them and get them on a schedule that we were all comfortable with. Congratuations and good luck!

 

Thank you everyone for your responses!

 

wow...I would say you had plenty of help. I was a homeschooling mom too when the twins were born. My mom stayed for 2 nights and my husband went to work the day after we got home from the hospital. No one ever got up through the night with me...ever. It was awful! After my mom stayed for 2 nights she came during the day for about 3 days and then maybe once/week. No she has not been to my house in over at least over a month and no one is helping at all (but they are 6 months old now). I only live 15-20 minutes from mom. I really thought I would have a lot more help than that, seeing how I have 4 sisters who all live within 20 minutes of me, but surprisingly I didn't. I think you have plenty of help.....you are so blessed!

 

Wow, that is a lot of help

I didn't have any help. Dh went back to work right away. My mom took one day off work to "help" after the girls were born. She came over around 11am (she wanted to sleep in on her "day off"-she excitedly told me this!!), held the babies for a few hours and then went home around 3pm. It was more work for me having her come over, lol!.

We didn't have any meals brought in, but Dh would bring home pizza more often than we normally do during those early weeks.

Good luck with the birth, can't wait to see pics of your little ones!