How much help after baby comes?

My twins will be 3.5 years old when the new baby arrives. They are in preschool and other activities throughout the week which I still want them to attend when the baby is born. DH and I are having a hard time agreeing on how much time and when he should take off.
With the twins I was on complete hospital bedrest for 35 days, delivered the babies at 33 weeks via c-section and they stayed in the hospital until they were 10 and 12 days old. I was up and walking within 3 days but very weak due to the bedrest. BY the time they came home I was able to stroll around the block.
This time, I am PRAYING that there will be no complications or bedrest and I am having a scheduled c-section. I will be in the hosptial 4 days and then DH will take off the following week. How many weeks of additional help do you think I should line up? I wanted DH to take a week off, work a week, and take another week off but he is huffing and puffing about that. Or, I can have him save the second week until March (baby would be 6-8 weeks old) and have him take spring break off. There will be no activities for the kids so that could be a rough one too!

Any thoughts? What are you all planning?

Tracy

 

I'm having a scheduled c-section on the 16th of October (Tuesday). My husband is going to work while I am in the hospital (Tues-Sat) and my in-laws will watch my 2.5 year old twins during the day while he is working. He is planning on taking the following week off after I come home. After that, I am on my own except for any extra help the in-laws offer (they are retired and in their mid-70's) who right now watch my girls on monday and friday mornings from 8:30-11:30. I'm sure it will be rough for a while but we'll do our best to make it work.

 

I will have no help after dh goes back to work. He will take off the week I have my c/s but go back the following week. I know it is going to be rough but we don't have a choice.

 

I am hoping for a vbac but DH will probably take a few weeks off. He can take it out of his sick time vs pto because of it being a birth. GOod luck! ONce you get into a good routine it'll all work out! Do you have close friends/family who live nearby who could help with dh is not around?

 

I do have family that are willing to help and I am planning on taking them up on it I just don't want to over schedule too much help. Plus, as much as I love my family and my in-laws the last time they helped I found it very stressfull. Especially my mom who was more interested in getting me and the kids out of the house rather than giving me my rest Don't even get me started on my in-laws :umm: They drive me a little batty but they are very well meaning.

I guess I just need to think about it and see what happens. Maybe DH postponing a week until March would be a nice break to look forward to while everyone else helps.

Thanks ladies!
Tracy

 

I think with c/s the worst week is the week after you come home from the hospital. So I think it's a good idea to have your dh take off that week for sure. I'm not sure if it would be critical to have him take off the third week... I think I'd rather have my dh save that time to take off days here and there to give me a more spaced out break.

I'm also going for vbac...so hopefully my recovery time will be a bit easier. We really have nothing planned in terms of dh's days off. In fact, I think he may only have 3 days left to take off. His job is really stingy on the official days off..he only gets 10 a year! But they are lax in keeping track...so hopefully he'll be fine "borrowing" some from next year if I need. I think recovery from birth might technically qualify for his family sick days... women at his office take sick days all the time to be at home when their kids are sick and can't be in school or day care... so he also has been allowed to take off as a sick day if I'm really sick and can't take care of the kids. So I'm hoping that maybe he can count it that way. He hardly ever takes real sick days anyway, so I don't think his boss will give him trouble over that. His boss also just had his first newborn last year, so I'm sure he'll be sympathetic! LOL! Anyway, we'll probably just decide on the fly what dh will do since I can't really plan when the birth will happen. My mom will be around to help and occasionally my MIL will help out a bit. I'm not nearly as concerned this time around. Even with all the kids in the house...it's still just one baby. I can do pajama days for the kids until I get my act together. LOL!

 

I had my mom here the first week (last week) along with my granny and my aunt. It's been nice to have them here off and on, but honestly I'm about 10 days post-op and feel good enough to do quite a bit on my own. MIL will be here tomorrow and my mom is staying another week to help with the older boys since Cub Scouts has started and DH really needs to go back to work full time.

With my VBAC (last year), I was up and around pretty quickly. The c-section has been a little harder, but not nearly as bad as my first. For me, while the help has been nice, I'm really very ready to be independent again and it's sort of a hinderance to have so many people here. I also really like my privacy, so if you're anything like me, you might want to stagger the help a little more.

HTH! I tend to ramble here and there these days. :lol:

 

Either way I deliver, I won't have any help other than DH for maybe a week or two (unless I need him more, but we can't really BOTH afford to be off unpaid after that). I had 7 weeks of bedrest with the twins and then they were in the NICU for 17 days...so I was pretty much "healed' by the time they came home after my c/s. This time will be VERY different. I haven't decided on my route of birth 100% at this time though.

 

When I have the baby my mother is going to come stay at the house while I am in the hospital. She can take the girls to school and then to visit me in the hospital later in the day. My DH can come and visit me and the baby after he gets home from work. Then it will be Thanksgiving so he'll be off from work. And then he will stay home the following week. He is just starting a new job and they are giving him off a week off paid for the birth of the baby. But, I don't want him to take all of the time while I'm in the hospital. I'd rather have his help once I come home.

When I had the girls he stayed home for a week and that was enough. This time with having to take after the girls and get them to school etc. I might need more help. I also have a friend that has offered to help me with the girls too (taking them to and from school). I have a feeling this time around will be completely different.

 

My husband won't be able to take off work except for the day of the c-section. So hopefully I can talk my mom into spending the time he's not here with me and the kids. We just can't afford the break in pay. My mom already comes over Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday from 7:30 am until 11 am. To give me time everyweed for errands and doctor appointments.

 

My mom was suppose to be with me, but my grandma had open heart surgery and she had to be with her, no doubt. So, DH took off 2 days, while I was in the hospital and his sister has been here helping me. I can definitely tell you the week you come home you will need help the most. I was so sore and definitely needed the help then the most.

 

I was on bedrest with the twins and had a hard recovery from the C. When I had Anna she was a scheduled C. Dh worked while I was in the hospital and my mom kept the boys.Dh stayed home the first week while I recovered. It was much easier the second time.The only thing that was really hard was remembering that I could not pick up the boys.Good Luck......



Danielle