How much do you cater to their OCD behaviors?

I've posted before about Bea's OCD idiosynchrasies. She's always been concerned with the place and position of objects, and if something is not where it should be, she gets upset and the world stops. Now there are other things like before we open a door, she must knock on it. If I open the door and she doesn't knock, she will flip out and won't stop crying until I close the door and we do it over again. She also wants a napkin under her dish at mealtimes. If there is a little spot on the napkin, she needs a clean one. She will also get all upset if say she asks for me to get her sippy cup, but DH does. She can't be happy with the end result, it's the way it happened. Ainsley does some of these things too, but I really think it's mostly mimicking what Bea does.

So, most of the time, I just go along with it. Sometimes though, it can be exhausting. DH thinks we shouldn't cater to it and she needs to learn that the world doesn't work the way she wants it to all the time. I agree to some extent, but I also just need to get through the day.

 

Kelly, have you spoken to her ped about it? It sounds like it is more than normal toddler behavior. Yes, she does need to learn that the world doesn't always work her way--the reason I sent Marcus to preschool was to deal with this issue. But, if it is truly an OCD thing, then it is something she can't help, and just "not giving in" isn't going to help her "get over it". Does that make sense? I would really look into it with your ped at this point, since it has been going on for such a long time.

Good luck.

 

Sounds just like one of mine. We have the same kind of issues and have been waiting since January for a referral.

I say cater to it as she can't help it (My DH is same as yours), it doesn't get better if u don't. They have a certain way of doing things and in their head it helps.

We have to have the bed clothes a certain way, her sleeves have to be rolled up equally, has to wipe twice for bathroom, certains clothes certain socks. Its very exhausting for both of you.

 

Wow okay so I just posted on the "spirited child" thread. My Ashley is just turned one (well so has alyssa LOL) Anyway, her world seems to stop and just not be okay if things that are supposed to have lids on them dont have their lids on. She will take out all the tupperware and then try to match it with the lid (pretty smart, but kinda weird?) and the plastic egg thing... she takes them apart but isnt quite good enough to get them back together and when they dont go back together it is a holy screaming tantrum. I guess hers could be "normal toddler behavior" at this point but i will watch to see if things get better after she can actually get the lids on, maybe that is all there is to it.

For now I would say if it is truely OCD you have no choice but to "cater" to it, like a PP said she just cant help it. That is JMHO.

 

I agree with Sharon here. If she is truly OCD she can't help herself and not catering to her won't help her get over it. In fact I'm sure it would increase her anxiety level and she may develop additional behaviors as a way to cope. I would definitely talk to the pedi and see what s/he has to say.

 

I agree with Sharon too. While A&S are younger than yours, and maybe just haven't developed that level of obsession yet, it sounds beyond normal toddler behavior to me. If she's absolutely unable to cope with having something be "wrong," until you can get an evaluation and some professional advice, catering to her might be the safest thing. :hug99:

 

I had kind of dismissed it because she doesn't do other things that one would typically associate with OCD behavior. For instance, she doesn't sort/organize toys by shape or color, or count things. Ainsley is in EI for physical therapy and the supervisor is due to come out in a couple weeks, I think I'll ask her about it. I'm not sure how much help our doctor would be. We see a family doctor, and while he's great for the routine stuff, I'm not sure how up on children's developmental issues he would be.

I'm going to look into this more. In the meantime, I'll keep catering to her routines and talk to DH about it.

 

Natalie has many of the same "issues." She has to do things her way or she absolutely loses it. She has to wear certain pj's. She has to eat of a certain plate with a certain fork or spoon. She wants to close all the doors. She has to pick the shirt she wants to wear out of the two I get out for them both. (I want the Yellow shirt. Annika has the pink one.) She's doing alot of things where she is trying to assert her independance, like insisting on climbing into her carseat without help. We have to say "Ready, set, go" before we can walk to the table for dinner, excuse me, HOP to dinner. She's obsessed with hopping everywhere right now because, "I a kangaroo momma. Hop. Hop. hop." She always wants ME to do things for her. Not the sitter, not dh, not her big sis, JUST me. I have to change her pull up, get her cup or give her a snack. She wont touch it unless it comes from my hands. Heaven forbid her sister touch the cookie she has decided was hers as I walked across the room. She wont eat the other one. Funny... Yes... Exhausting... YEP. Normal... I have no idea.
Heck, I have a child, who couldn't eat a ham and cheese sandwich unless it was made a certain way. The mustard can only touch the ham, the mayo can only touch the cheese. She refused to eat lunch for two weeks at school until her kindergarden teacher finally told me she wasn't eating. When I asked her about it, she said, "You made it upside down." All I could think was "Excuse ME? Are you flipping serious?" Turns out my FIL is the same way.