How many of you did NOT have help with your newborn twins???

Hi ladies,

Hey, look at me, now on the First Years forum!!! Our twins were born last Monday and today my honey has to go back to work and I'm facing my first day alone with newborn twins. Everyone says to line up help but I don't really have any help ... and I'm breastfeeding both and just wondering how the heck I'm going to handle all of this.

How many of you went at it alone in the beginning, and can you give me some words of encouragement????????

 

Hi ladies,

Hey, look at me, now on the First Years forum!!! Our twins were born last Monday and today my honey has to go back to work and I'm facing my first day alone with newborn twins. Everyone says to line up help but I don't really have any help ... and I'm breastfeeding both and just wondering how the heck I'm going to handle all of this.

How many of you went at it alone in the beginning, and can you give me some words of encouragement????????

 

My dh went back to work at 3 weeks. God bless you for being at home with them at 1 week!! I also exclusively bf and what I did was basically sit most of the day on one part of the sofa and feed the babies. When I wasn't feeding them, they were placed in the bassinet to sleep. I tried using the play mat on the floor but they were not interested because they were too young. I just followed their cues which were mostly sleepy signs. When they would wake, I would change their diaper (note: everything was in the living room i.e. changing pad, diapers, diaper champ, wipes, clothes, etc...) and then feed them and sometimes change their diaper again, but not always. I didn't tandem nurse independently until about 4 weeks, I believe. I'm sure I could have done it sooner, but I relied on my dh to help situate the babies on the pillows. At about 6 weeks I bought the EZ2 nurse pillow which improved matters significantly before I just used regular bed pillow. I still have everything set up in the living room. If someone comes over, I sometimes move the changing items into their bedroom for extra room, but not always. I'm sure you will manage great! You sound like a really strong person!! You know you have us here for any questions or just to listen.

 

I had the babies by csection on Friday, was home by Sunday and DH was back to work on Monday (off and on.) I had no help, had to cook dinner 4 days after the c-section and a week later I was walking my 7 year old to school. I also breastfeed exclusively. Trust me, its hard but do able. I had a few melt downs and I still get annoyed when people complain about the help that they have doing too much. I could only wish someone came to help with the babies, cook or clean.

My Mom was here for a few days and did NOTHING. She didn't change babies because they were "too small", she couldn't help with breastfeeding and didn't cook because she said she didn't know how to make vegetarian food. So I had a house guest for a few days and had to cook and clean after her as well.

At almost 12 weeks, we are all doing great and I have gotten into my own system of doing things. Some days I don't get a chance to eat breakfast or lunch and some days I don't have a chance to do any house work. Then there are days were the babies are all hugs and snuggles and we have a GREAT time just lounging. Take each day as it comes and if you get to do more than breastfeed: gravy. If not remember the first priority is the babies!

 

quote:

At almost 12 weeks, we are all doing great and I have gotten into my own system of doing things. Some days I don't get a chance to eat breakfast or lunch and some days I don't have a chance to do any house work.

OK, I understand not having time to eat, but you actually have time to clean! I applaud you I wait for my dh to get home and then he or I clean a little. If I'm nursing then he does the work.

Oh kendraplus2, trader joes has LOTS of ready made foods that could help reduce cook-time, if you have one nearby.

 

me too! I think I had help for about 5 days after the hospital because we were staying at the beach with my mom, sister and grandmother. But I still did all the night feedings myself with a little help here and there from my sister.

My DH worked even when I was in the hospital because he had been laid off from Feb to May and the boys were born in July, so no vacation time nor could we afford for him to be off. So when we got home from the beach, it was all me! He was working from 5a-3p every day so I never made him get up with the twins mostly because he was operating heavy machinery and I was afraid he would get hurt if he was too tired etc.

I got through it somehow, although I have to admit it was awful a lot of the time and I really don't remember the first three months of Kev and Pack's lives Sad really. But it will get better I promise. I got Bottle Bundles from littlewonders.com to help out with feeding two at once (not bfing) and I didn't get much more than 2-3 hours sleep a day but I got through it.

Funny thing now, my DH is laid off AGAIN, so this time, he is MR. MOM, doing all the night feedings and doing most of the house work etc since I have to work extra hours at work now.

If you need anything ever PM me!

 

You can do it!!! My husband took a week off work but we came home from the hospital on a Sunday and Monday my 3 year olds preschool called and he was so sick. Hubby had to stay downstairs with the 3 year old and I had the girls upstairs all by myself for a week until he was better, by that time hubby had to go back to work. I had to to do all the laundry, wash bottles ect and had a c/s I was recovering from. The girls are 3 weeks old today and I am tired but still doing it, my parents live up the street but they mostly are helping out with the 3 year old too. Please know you can do this, it will be tough at times but can be done. Congrats!!!
Kristi

 

You can do it! It won't be easy... but it is doable! Remember, that is what we are all here for... to help you and give advice and support along the way!!

 

I did it on my own. Mine were in the NICU for 5 and 6 weeks though. Lily came home first, I had her on my own during the week while DH was at work. I did work about 20 hours that week too (from home).

Then Grace came home on a Saturday. On Monday DH went to work and I was solo with both babies. I didn't BF, but I did pump every 3 hours. So I was busy but I managed.

DH took Wednesday through Friday of the second week off, mainly because we had to take them to 3 different appointments on Wednesday so he just took the rest of the week off. Other than that, I did it solo.

Mine were on an every 3 hour schedule from the NICU which made life easier. And DH and I did shifts at night. I went to bed at 7pm and he took the 7, 10, and 1 feedings. He woke me up at midnight to pump, then I went back to sleep and I took the 4am feeding. That way we both got pretty decent sleep - which helps tremendously! But with BF'ing that is hard to do.

I would highly recommend sleeping when the babies sleep. Let everything else go!

 

I hope all goes well for you. I am very lucky to have help during this time. My in-laws have been here for 2 months helping me with my other 3 children. Then are leaving for the weekend so I will finally get to see how it will be with 5 children. Thank god my husband will be home with me. i am sure it will be rough but somehow you will make it all work out.

 

My DH went back to work right away, too. I kept bottled water, mixed nuts and granola bars stocked on my end table, and then set up shop in the living room. The babies slept in a bassinet and we pretty much just stayed in the one room all day. After they were only home two weeks, my DH went out of time for a week at a time - several times throughout the first few months. It was frustrating and exhausting, but survivable. Those babies were so cute that I just couldn't help but be honored to take care of them.

My sister came over once every other week to help clean, but other than that, we were on our own.

You'll make it, I swear. It might be an exhausting blur, but you'll survive. And some day, you'll look back in wonderment and realize that moms of twins are super! Congratulations!

 

quote:
My DH went back to work right away, too. I kept bottled water, mixed nuts and granola bars stocked on my end table, and then set up shop in the living room.


I learned to do this too real quick ... for the most part we';ve slept the boys in their round crib in the nursery and its always when my honey is alseep at 3am and I've got arms full of baby that I get hungry anf thirsty, so I filled a basket with fruit, bars, etc and keep bottled water right where I nurse.

My honey is extremely helpful which I am very grateful for, a few nights ago he took all the night feedings (I had pumped milk and Chase was on formula for a few days because of jaundice) so that I could get a solid night's sleep. I slept from midnight until 9 am and it felt so good, it was the nicest gift ever! He did that when I first got home from the hospital too, would take a feeding so I could get 4-5 hours of sleep.

I kind of have the "baby blues" thing going on right now, which I can't wait to be over - I cry every day about something or other.

But I know it can be done! I'm actually thinking of just pumping milk and storing it instead of breastfeeding. Bottle feeding is so much quicker. Does anyone else do that besides Susan???

 

DH took off from work for a week, but a few of those days the babies and I were still in the hospital. We had no other help. I wish we could've afforded someone to come clean the house once a week (still wish that). Then, when babies were 6 weeks, he went away for 6 weeks (DH in military). It was REALLY rough. I, too, breastfeed exclusively. A few things that I kept in mind that got me though (and still does) is try to keep a positive attitude, "this, too, will pass", and one day you will miss them being so little.

You can do it. Don't be too hard on yourself when you've had a bad day, like you're not strong enough or a good enough mommy. Allow yourself to have a good cry, if needed. It's a good stress relief. Getting out of the house helps, even if it's just for a walk around the block. I did this in the evenings when babies had their fussy time. I was tired from sitting on the couch all day nursing, and the walk in the stroller calmed them a bit. Plus, my 2 y/o at the time needed to get out.

Come here when you need to vent. It really helps. Hugs to you!

 

I didn't have much help either. I did get help maybe the first 2 weeks. But after that, I was on my own with my twins and my 4 year old. It definitely was daunting at first.

I put everything I needed in the livingroom. The swings were life savers. Another helpful thing were my slings. I have 2 ring slings, and 2 mei tais (and a hotsling on the way). Ronin loves to be held, so I have in a sling and I'm able to do other things.

I have my own system going. It's hard, and I'm glad when DH gets home, that's for sure.

 

quote:
Originally posted by txtwinmom2b:
The swings were life savers. Another helpful thing were my slings. I have 2 ring slings, and 2 mei tais (and a hotsling on the way). Ronin loves to be held, so I have in a sling and I'm able to do other things.



Do you know of a sling that can hold the two of them? My ds loves the sling but not my dd. I've been trying to "train" her into liking it with little success. If you have any tips on how to acclimate her to the sling, please through some ideas my way! THANKS!

 

quote:
Originally posted by kendraplus2:
I'm actually thinking of just pumping milk and storing it instead of breastfeeding. Bottle feeding is so much quicker. Does anyone else do that besides Susan???

I typically pump 1-2 times a night for my ds. My dh feeds him the ebm in a bottle. My ds seems to wake up less when the ebm is given to him in a bottle opposed to him nursing. We've tried different ways and continue to explore other feeding ideas. You do what's comfortable.

 

quote:
Originally posted by babies@2:
quote:
Originally posted by txtwinmom2b:
The swings were life savers. Another helpful thing were my slings. I have 2 ring slings, and 2 mei tais (and a hotsling on the way). Ronin loves to be held, so I have in a sling and I'm able to do other things.



Do you know of a sling that can hold the two of them? My ds loves the sling but not my dd. I've been trying to "train" her into liking it with little success. If you have any tips on how to acclimate her to the sling, please through some ideas my way! THANKS!

Only one of my boys likes the sling too. As far as your DD, maybe try different kinds of slings, pouches, etc?

Here's an article about babywearing and multiples:
http://www.thebabywearer.com/articles/HowToO/Twins.htm

Hope that helps some!

 

You really can do it!
I did it and have 2 older DD's (ages 4 and 8).
I also BF. I had help the first week they were home (2 weeks NICU), DH was off.
To me, it's easier to BF. No bottles (to clean, prepare)and you can tandem if you like.

In the beginning, I did not cook dinner. DH gets off at 5 so he made it when he got home. I sometimes do now if I am able.
As for cleaning, I keep things tidy but do not do any scrubbing and such. DH and I do that together (still do) on weekends.
Same for grocery shopping. We do that on weekends, just one of us and the other stays with babies.
One thing I always make sure to do is get my morning shower. I do not feel human without it and get it done during their morning nap.
I don't have any relitives available for help either. It can be done!
Best of luck!

 

Hi Kendra,

Welcome to 1st yr! As daunting as it seems at first, I would *highly* recommend tandem feeding as soon as possible. It has saved me countless hours in the end, and it's a sure bet to calm BOTH babies at once. For me, having the ability to do this means much less crying and I can talk on the phone, watch tv, even use a laptop on the couch next to me.

I know it seems like bottle feeding might be easier, but when you factor in time to pump, clean your pump supplies, heat up bottles, clean bottles...well, you get the idea. Obviously whatever works for you and the babes is best though.

The other thing that gets me through is a positive outlook (I know it sounds cheesy, but it really works). I worked as a cook before having the twins and always think about my hardest, worst days on the job and then realize that taking care of my twins is paradise compared to that!

 

I just want to say YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN! I had a 28 month old too. The day Logan came home from the hospital (day 9) my DH was at work that day! He worked the morning and then we went and picked Logan up from the hospital! It was all just taking it day by day and not looking forward any.
We managed and I think that you will do it because you have to, and you will be very proud of yourself for managing it all.

 

Your gonna be just fine! Take a deep breath and follow your new instincts . My dh couldn't get any time off of work since he started a new job the day after the twins were born! I had a c-section and was home 3 days later . I got almost all the answers to any of my sleep deprived ?'s and worries from this forum .
I had alot of company come to visit the first few days and then I was on my own! I actually preferred the time alone with my babies, it was calm and peacefull most of the time . Anyways goodluck!!! And use this forum there are tons of mommies on here that will get you through the long nights............

 

When the time comes you'll be able to do it!!!!!

Its amazing how easily you'll adapt.

 

I did it on my own for the most part, my Mom would come over after work and help. But during the day I was there by myself. I miss the those days when they were first born because all they did was sleep, so take advantage of that time and take a nap when they are.

 

Congrats! I was nervous at first too, but let me tell you, after about 2 weeks, I got my routine down and it was actually harder for me to have someone else here. Everytime I would feel overwhelmed, I would just tell myself and the babies that, "Mumma is doing the best she can. She only has 2 hands, so we all need to just be patient." Granted that statement in itself didn't calm the babies down, but, it made me feel better to make myself realize that I was doing the best possible job I could. Don't worry, it will all work out and your babies will thank you for taking care of them yourself and not letting someone else do it.

 

Congratulations! No lie, it is HARD! But you will make it. We came home on a Friday evening and Monday morning DH had to go to work. I had no help other than him at night. We are self-employed so if he didn't work, we didn't eat. My mother just seemed to disappear and there I was all alone. I was scared, sore, didn't know what I was doing and on top of that had a kidney infection with 102 degree fever. It really sucked. You just go day by day and get through. Good luck sweetie!

 

quote:
Originally posted by jessben81:
Everytime I would feel overwhelmed, I would just tell myself and the babies that, "Mumma is doing the best she can. She only has 2 hands, so we all need to just be patient."

That's funny, I say something very similar like, "ok guys, we need to work together here as a team and have some patience."

 

my mom came down one day a week for the first few weeks of my maternity leave and after that I was on my own (DH was home for 2 weeks)...mine were colicky from a month on so most days I was on the couch feeding and bouncing with Food Network and Triscuits

you will find a way, forge a path and get your own routine down...

I didn't nurse but I don't think preparing bottles was that difficult - I would make enough for a 24 hour period and actually pour the bottles out so I could just grab them out of the fridge...