How long will I need MIL after the babies are born?

My MIL has offered to come up and help out when the babies are born and stay as long as we need her.

I am very grateful for this offer. I like my MIL and I would genuinely appreciate her help with my twins and my 2 year old DD.

I am guessing that depending on how things progress, we might also need her before the babies are born...... but how long do you think I will need her afterward?

She would be relocating from NJ, so it would be nice to have a ballpark figure.

Thanks so much in advance.

 

Wow! You are very lucky to have her! I would say have her for as long as you can tolerate! I only have my twins and my MIL came on weekends, probably 6 or 7 and she was a lifesaver!!!!! In fact, I really missed her when she had gone home! I can only imagine having a toddler around too, you will have your hands full. My MIL is awesome- she NEVER told us how to raise our kids and only did what we wanted her to do. She didn't offer advice much either, only when I asked. I LOVED that and really appreciate her.

Good luck!

 

Wow, how nice of your MIL! I would definitely have MIL stay as long as she can. I would say at least a few weeks to a month and maybe more. It will be really nice to have the extra help as long as you can.

 

My mom arrived the day we came home from the hospital, and stayed for 3 weeks. It was long enough to get us going on a routine, and she kept us fed and in clean laundry while we did all the baby tending. She did get some good quality infant time in, too! Hopefully your MIL will be good enough to do all the non-baby stuff too, so you and DH can focus on your 2yo and babies as much as possible. I would have loved my mom to stay longer, but it definately would have been tough for us to have her for fewer than 3 weeks.

GL, and so happy you have family to help :hug:

 

I only had the twins and I had my mom and MIL here for six weeks. It sounds like so much now, but at the time it was very much appreciated and needed (for us). Between the c/s pain and just being a first time mom of twins, I wouldn't have done it any other way. I got lucky that both moms listened and asked me about everything, so I never felt like they were over doing anything. I would most definately set some kind of boundries, if you think your MIL is one that would go to far. :good:

Good luck!

 

That is so nice of your MIL!! I agree with the pp's and say keep her as long as you can!!

 

Girls, You are so lucky!!!!
I just remember the time when my son was born ( only one baby) and of couse my mom offer to be with me for 2 weeks and my MIL said that she would be next for another 2 weeks.
and I feel the difference.
my mom did all non babies work. so in the morning she always cook me and her breakfast and after I was with the baby she help with other like laundry and etc.
my MIL always wanted to do babies staff ( like put him in the stoller and seat on the porch) I breastfed him so this she cannot do. and I change his diapers and I woke up in the morning and cook breakfast for both of us and she just took DS outside on our porch and seat in the chair and enjoy the fresh air. I was SO TIRED after that 2 weeks that I todl my husband I don't need anyone to help me especially that way.

I am afraid that I will have the story repeated again after my twins would be born. But I hope I can handle it better OR I don't really need that kid of help.

 

I am one of the fortunate ones, as I have my mom here now. I am currently at 22 weeks and she has been living with us for the past 3 weeks. I have one other daughter age 7. Mom has been getting up early with my daughter and getting her on the bus, and then will make breakfast for me before I leave for work. When I get home the laundry is done, house is cleaned, and dinner made. It has been great!
The dr has been concerned about my cervix shortening, and I think because of the extra help I have already rec'd it has helped that too!
She may go back home (AZ and we are in MN) for a few weeks and then come back. But she is planning on being her for several weeks before the birth and the probably for a long time after. She actually is in a position to move here, and probably will. So in a few weeks if she stays or when she comes back, she will probably start renting a place and then come over here everyday.
My MIL lives an hour away but works FT. I know once the babies are born she will come and help too when needed.
I definately would recommend having help before and then after too!

Briana
identical girls due 6-17

 

How awesome :good: I agree, have her stay as long as possible!
My MIL only was able to stay for a week (DH stayed home for a month with me).
I was soooo thankful to have her around!

 

My mom was here for a month and it was wonderful. If we hadn't had a NICU stay it would have been plenty long enough. As it was, she was really only home with us for a week and a half after both boys were home and I needed a month from that day. I don't know how we would have handled the NICU time without her though. So, it worked out well. We had a week to ourselves, which was exhausting but nice, then my MIL came for a week. She was a great help too. You may want help a little longer if she can because of your 2 year old.

PP is right you need them to do for you and keep up with the house, etc so you can focus on the babies. Of course if they want to take a night shift or two don't turn down that kind of help!

 

it depends - if she's like my MIL - not at all! If she's like my mom - she could have moved in with us and I wouldn't have cared!!!

it sounds like you've got a good relationship with her - so as long as you can stand is probably a good time frame...

 

Before depends on how your pregnancy is going at that point, it's not predicable enough to say at 20 weeks, how you will feel at 30 weeks or 36 weeks, heck even when you will deliver is up in the air.

After the birth, my answer is as long as you two can stand each other. Having my parents here got on my nerves, but when they had to go home, the next day I cried almost all day! It was such a shock to suddenly be alone with two babies (they are my only children), so with a two year old in the picture I think you really will want her there as long as possible. (DH's work schedule and helpfullness are of course also a factor.)

 

Thanks so much for all the replies and advice.

DH has to go away for a week in March, so MIL will come out for a "test run" to help me out for the week. We also plan to use this time to do some serious spring cleaning and decluttering- in anticipation of the new arrivals.

MIL is a peach. She is welcome to stay for as long as we need her. She was a big help with DD, so with what is essentially three kids under 2 (DD will turn two in April, babies are EDD July 1), things are going to be much trickier!

 

I'm glad your MIL is so wonderful. My mom is coming and she is very helpful -- she will be here for two months. I have twins plus one on the way in April. I had a bad experience with my SIL coming for two weeks and her opinion of helping was "holding or feeding the babies" while my mom helped make meals and other stuff. It is nice to have some time just to yourselves with you and your dh and your daughter for a few days if you can manage that. It is nice to have a quiet family bond time.

Heather

 

I work full time , We own our own business and I can't Imagine what would happen if I weren't there. My mother has been staying with us for a couple months now . I am about 28 weeks now . She does all the laundry,keeps the house clean and watches my other children (8 and 10 ) My kids are doing much better in school lately . My mom helps them with their home work . She cooks sometimes but I really enjoy cooking so I usually do it ( for now ) . I plan on keeping her until the twins are in Kindergarten and If she'd like she can stay with us forever . She is a big help and I don't have to worry about my kids because I know her parenting style as I am her child . I feel greatful .