How long do you wait

Last night was the worse night of their lives… no joke I got more sleep when they were only days old… every 45 min from the time I put them down at 7 one or the other would wake up… that’s right I got no more than 45 min at any given time last night… so tonight I am thinking I will give it “time” before I go in… I know I may end up with 2 awake babies but I have to try something…. So how long do you wait until you go in and give a baby his binky… they love to suck on their fist… so I know they can attempt to self sooth if given the chance… I don’t want to go down the full blown cio route yet… as they were sttn until about a week ago so I’m hoping they go back soon… but it’s getting worse not better as time goes on… they aren’t hungry… if I give them a binky… they go back to sleep…so my question is how long do you wait to go in?

Sorry for the ramble… I think I lost brain cells last night… off to make more coffee now…(we need a smiley face sipping coffee)

Elizabeth

 

At this age I was going right away to give them their binky... but I weaned them off it at 4.5 month because they wouldn't keep it, and we ended up doing CIO when they were not falling asleep, and they learned to self soothe on their fist too. But they were in our bedroom until almost 5 months, so it was that or not sleeping for us.

But again, mine never woke up at night unless they were hungry. We still give them a bottle when they wake up at night. Sometimes they sttn, sometimes they wake up twice, but they know how to fall back asleep on their own.

 

Sorry last night was so bad. I don't have an answer for you, wish I did. The boys have been waking up a lot b/c they lose theirs. Hope tonight goes better for you.

Dianna

 

And that's why we cold turkied the binkies! Ugh! I am so sorry that you didnt get any sleep. You could wait 5 or so minutes--whatever you are comfortable with. Mine were still waking at that age because they were hungry so I always went to them. But at 4 months and they have been STTN I would wait a bit before going in to see if they can get back to sleep. Do you put them down awake for naps or bed? Just wondering if they know how to self soothe. Because if they dont, they may not "get it" right away and maybe you can work on it with their naps instead of bedtime. Just a thought??

 

Ugghh. So sorry. Ours regressed a bit around 4 months as well--binky-related. We cold turkeyed the binky and did CIO at that point. CIO went pretty smoothly for us, though. They never cried for longer than a 20 minute stretch, and the first night only woke up once after the initial bedtime CIO. After that, they were fine. If it hadn't been so easy, I don't know if I could have done it.

I think the 4 month old sleep disruption is pretty common--there must be some little switch in their brains that goes off.

Good luck and hugs!!! :hug99:

 

Our Ped wouldn't let us CIO until the babies could burp on their own. His reasoning is that they swallow a lot of air when they are crying, which causes them to get distended and uncomfortable causing them to cry more and compound the problem. Now that my girls are starting to burp on their own, we were told to let them cry up to 5 minutes. If they don't soothe by that time, we should go in and burp them and soothe them and quietly leave. We just started this yesterday. Our issues are pacifier related, so I feel your pain. I was up 14 times on Sunday night. Last night it was only 6 times. I didn't let her cry the full 5 minutes each time though, so I'm probably just enabling her.

 

Our DD had a horrible paci-nighttime addiction. She wouldn't sleep without it. At that point they were swaddled, so it's not like she could get it herself. By 6 months we'd had enough... She'd started waking up every 30 mins down to 1 min. It was ridiculous. We stopped swaddles and did CIO at the same time. It took one night, and they've been STTN ever since. If I had to do it over again, I'd probably have done it sooner.

No help with your plight, just alot of sympathy!

 

I wouldn't do a CIO till they are at-least 6 months. They need you till then. Even if its just to be soothed. I know this is a hard time, but you are getting close to the period where you can start to leave them on there own to CIO a little more. have your SO help out. You should have help at this time for sure :hug99:

 

I feel for you. Mine have regressed the past week too. I guess there is something about the 4 month mark.... :angry:

 

If you want to try a little bit of cio then I say go ahead. I would set a time limit though, say 15-30min and if they haven't settled down by that time then go in and help them a little bit. The first few nights will probably be the roughest. If after a few nights they still aren't getting it, then you may want to stop and try again in a few weeks.
We didn't use soothers so I am no help with that. But, ours did go through the 4month sleep regression and it was TOUGH! I know it's rough going from sttn to being up multiple times again. Ours usually would eat and go back to sleep (I am nursing, so not sure that they were hungry or needed comfort, but either way nursing helped get them to go back to sleep).
Hope things turn around for you soon - hang in there. The only good thing to know is that things will always change....

 

Thank you ladies

I decided for a 5 min “wait period”… I brought a stop watch set it for 5 min once one woke me I started it…it was only Seth tonight… at 1am he woke… I started the watch… he never really cried… but was defiantly not happy and yelling (luckily dh has in ear plug and for older DS I put a big fan in his room to drowned out noise)… it was interesting at 4min 30 sec he stopped… I waited a bit more to make sure he was asleep and then went in to check… glad I did as he has pushed up in a bumper (those are coming off in the am). The second time was Nathan at 5 am… same thing 4min 30 sec he stopped… I went in and he was fine… I also took out there night light… so there room is dark (that could have helped as well)… I use a little flash light when I want to see them…

The only bummer is I was wide awake for an hour after the 1am wake up… finally got to bed at 2am then was up again at 5am… but that’s way better then waking up every 45 min….

This morning we are off to their 4 m check up

Thank you again,

Elizabeth

 

Nice work Elizabeth!! :good: Let us know how their 4 month appt goes!

 

At that age I would do 5 minutes, now I let it go about 10 before I go in. I don't think letting them cry for 5 minutes is considered CIO, it's just giving them a chance to decided if they are going back to sleep or not. I do remember having to look at the clock though b/c 5 minutes felt like an hour. I actually think not going in right away can be beneficial b/c sometimes babies just cry in their sleep and going in will actually wake them up more.

 

I think so much is child dependent and age dependent.

At that age, we still had them in our room. It didn't take much to get up and pop a paci in. And now they do it themselves, or just don't need them once they're really asleep.

For our DD, it works best if we comfort her right away. She escalates, and once she's worked up it might take an hour (actively working with her, we haven't CIOed) to get her to settle. But if we catch her right away, it's usually fine.

Our DS really knows how to self-soother at this point, and if we give him a couple of minutes, we can usually tell whether it's something really wrong or something he'll take care of.

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Aug 22 2008, 08:32 AM) [snapback]942161[/snapback]
Thank you ladies

I decided for a 5 min “wait period”… I brought a stop watch set it for 5 min once one woke me I started it…it was only Seth tonight… at 1am he woke… I started the watch… he never really cried… but was defiantly not happy and yelling (luckily dh has in ear plug and for older DS I put a big fan in his room to drowned out noise)… it was interesting at 4min 30 sec he stopped… I waited a bit more to make sure he was asleep and then went in to check… glad I did as he has pushed up in a bumper (those are coming off in the am). The second time was Nathan at 5 am… same thing 4min 30 sec he stopped… I went in and he was fine… I also took out there night light… so there room is dark (that could have helped as well)… I use a little flash light when I want to see them…

The only bummer is I was wide awake for an hour after the 1am wake up… finally got to bed at 2am then was up again at 5am… but that’s way better then waking up every 45 min….

This morning we are off to their 4 m check up

Thank you again,

Elizabeth


So the awake baby never woke the sleeping baby? I tried waiting a couple minutes last night but my son just kept getting louder and more upset. I probably only waited 2 minutes, not 5. But surprisingly, my daughter didn't wake - she started to stir, but once I quieted my son she was back to sleep. I'm tempted to try the 5 minute rule...but still scared!

 

QUOTE(DeniseT @ Aug 22 2008, 09:43 AM) [snapback]942390[/snapback]
So the awake baby never woke the sleeping baby? I tried waiting a couple minutes last night but my son just kept getting louder and more upset. I probably only waited 2 minutes, not 5. But surprisingly, my daughter didn't wake - she started to stir, but once I quieted my son she was back to sleep. I'm tempted to try the 5 minute rule...but still scared!

The TWO awake babies was what I was the most scared of… but after having a really bad night… I figured I was no worse off… and no Seth didn’t wake Nathan completely… Nathan was stirring when I went to check on Seth… and was completely out of his swaddle… but Nathan never “woke” or if he did he didn’t make noise… I had tried 3 min a couple times at bed time… and always had to go in… that’s why I went up to 5 min… because I knew 3 didn’t work… and I learned from my older ds to us a stop watch because 5 min feels like 20 when a baby is crying in the middle of the night… and whenever I thought 5 min was up… nope only two min tops had passed...
The most interesting part was right at 4 min 30 sec they stopped… so if I had given in early I wouldn’t have had luck… or if I was using a clock I wouldn’t have luck… but really… I don’t know… for all I know it could have been the night light gone… or tomorrow will be another night from hell… I can only hope it wont be…

i wish you luck as well

 

QUOTE(DeniseT @ Aug 22 2008, 10:43 AM) [snapback]942390[/snapback]
So the awake baby never woke the sleeping baby? I tried waiting a couple minutes last night but my son just kept getting louder and more upset. I probably only waited 2 minutes, not 5. But surprisingly, my daughter didn't wake - she started to stir, but once I quieted my son she was back to sleep. I'm tempted to try the 5 minute rule...but still scared!


As my pedi always says, try it on the weekend!

You figure on Friday night you are tired from the week, if you do it Sat and it all goes to hell, maybe at least DH will be around Sunday to help!!

I was really scared to try it too, but 9 times out of 10 the other baby woke when they heard the door open (damn creaky doors) more than their brother/sister fussing. Right now DS is up from his nap and playing in the crib but I don't dare go get him b/c I know as soon as I do DD will wake up. So I'll let him play until he gets bored and then go get them both up.

 

QUOTE(SMiLeD @ Aug 22 2008, 10:08 AM) [snapback]942409[/snapback]
As my pedi always says, try it on the weekend!

You figure on Friday night you are tired from the week, if you do it Sat and it all goes to hell, maybe at least DH will be around Sunday to help!!

I was really scared to try it too, but 9 times out of 10 the other baby woke when they heard the door open (damn creaky doors) more than their brother/sister fussing. Right now DS is up from his nap and playing in the crib but I don't dare go get him b/c I know as soon as I do DD will wake up. So I'll let him play until he gets bored and then go get them both up.

That is good advice... sadly i get more help during the week... i almost dread weekends...

we have door issues as well... for some reason their door is swelled... no other door in that hallway has (or house for that matter)... so their door kind of just get "stuck" not shuts ...

 

take their binkies away for good!!!

at a month I took all pacifiers away and they haven't seen them since. except when ds got circumsized...

Mine at that age were waking every couple of hours but because they were hungry. you said they weren't hungry so it's obviously the pacifier.

You could give the pacifier back in a couple months, too. When they are able to put it in their mouth and take it out...

I have no idea. But I'm sure this wont last long. nothing with twins ever does! hahaha.