How early to start CIO?

Hi there,

New to twinstuff, but finding lots of valuable advice here. We are still in the thick of it with our almost 2 month old b/g twins who were born one month early. Of course, we are totally sleep-deprived, envious of moms with singletons, and finding the process very rough. I know it's too early to start now, but when can we start CIO? I read the Ferber book, and he says that 3 months is okay, but everyone on this forum seems to start several months later. Thoughts? I'm desperate for more sleep, so I am VERY ready to sleep train.

One other question. Is STTN really only 5-6 hours, or do some of you really mean sleeping through the entire night?

Thanks for all your help.
Katie

 

:welcome: to Twinstuff and the First Year.


At that age, I would even be thinking about CIO even for the future. They may surprise you and start sleeping really well in the next couple of months. They are still growing and gaining weight and being only one month old their brains need to mature for them to sleep longer stretches. Give it time they are still newborns who need to get up at night and eat.

 

For me the absolute minimum age is 4 months, but I don't even really like that. I think 6 months or more is really the best guideline. If you are really struggling, at 2 months, I'd try things like letting them sleep stretches in a swing or bouncy to see if you can all get more regular sleep.

 

I agree with PP about trying a swing or bouncy at this age. At 6 weeks I transitioned my girls from their bassinet to their swings and it got me longer stretches of sleep. My pediatrician suggested that we CIO at 4 months, but I decided not to do it. Now at 5 months, one of my girls slept for a 10 hour stretch and the other did a two 5 hour stretches last night. If they aren't consistently STTN at 6 months, we will CIO. Two months is too early to be STTN for the majority of babies because they need to eat around the clock. Sleep training is not easy. I think its harder to hear them cry than it is to go in and soothe them. Things will get better on their own during the next two months. If you think you need to CIO at 4 months and you discuss it with your pedi, I would go ahead. Good luck

 

:welcome:

I would say, for me, the minimum age for CIO is 5 months, but I waited until 6 months with Luke & Lila. I agree with other pp's, the swing, bouncy chair, carseat, wherever they will sleep at that age is where I left them. You may be surprised at how much they start sleeping on their own in the coming weeks.

 

I'm another 6 month person. I actually waited until my boys were 7/7.5 months actual age. You have to make sure they don't need to be eating. I wrote down every feeding for the 1st year (yes I'm a little :crazy: ) and confirmed with their doctor when they no longer needed night feedings. Until 4/5 months, we let them sleep wherever they would and left the crib transition for later. Hang in there! Do you have any other children? Sleeping when they did really helped me, but I know that's not for everyone. One thing that worked well for me was that my mom took over from 5pm-11pm and I slept that entire stretch then did the night feedings.

 

I did CIO with my 3 boys. My girls both slept through at 3 months. I didn't feel comfortable doing it before 6 months. Justin was 9 months, Josh 8 months, and Jake 6 months.

I agree with PP, do whatever works right now. Emma slept in her swing, and Jake with me, for most of the first 3 months. We wouldn't have gotten any sleep otherwise.

:welcome:

ETA...STTN for me, means putting them to bed at a reasonable hour and having stay asleep until a reasonable hour in the morning. I would not consider 5-6 hours STTN.

 

So your babies are just 1 month really... Well, definately not until 4 months adjusted. It is very hard and we have all been there, some with more help than others. Mine ate every 3 hours until 4 mnths adjusted. They also had feeding issues and would take 1 hour to finish the bottle, even at night. I had black bruises under my eyes and people asked us if we were sick. We had no help and I stayed and home alone (still do) from 7am-6pm and it was rough. One thing we did us were carseats at night for the first 3 months and they slept in them beside my side of th bed. I would feed them, the put them in the carseats and if the pacifier fell or they were fussy, I would just rock the seat without getting out of the bed again. That helped. Also we usd swings and they slept there during night and naps until 5 months. Those were lifesavers.

There had been numerous research articles proving that a baby cannot be spoiled untill 3-4 months of age because the section of the brain that is responsible for that type of behaviour is not formed yet. Same brain development is essential for the success of CIO. They have to be able to understand what is happening. Until 3-4 months they really can't. They would just be crying because if hunger, but the point of CIO to STTN is to break a HABIT of eating at night and not the actual physiological need. Also many would agree that STTN is a developmental milestone rather than a consequence of being fed more (more milk or mixing in the rice cereal).

Also if you do research and find medical articles, all say that babies are ok to skip their night feed once they reach at least 13lb. Just a note.

Good luck and welcome!

 

In the beginning, my DH & I divvyied up the sleep. I started sleeping at 7pm. He is a night owl, & I was recovering from a CSection/Breastfeeding/TIRED. So I'd sleep between the feeds from about 7pm until around 1am. Then I'd get up with whoever was up and he'd sleep between the feeds until around 7am. It really helped to know that someone else was on duty. I walked in that bedroom and slept, with or without a baby crying in the living room.

Good luck!

 

I would give it some time. We tried to do it with our twins at 3 months 1 week, and it was just too early.

I would really recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins." It has been amazingly accurate explaining when the babies will start developing different sleep habits. And it also helps develop babies who will sleep well on their own. Our babies keep sleeping longer and longer stretches (two five hour stretches right now), and they keep getting easier to put down.

Hang in there! You will sleep again!!

 

I would ask your pediatrician - there are many on this board with very strong opinions about the Ferber method, and this is an excellent place to get opinions from all sides, but I would temper those opinions with the advice of your doctor. And Ferber - the book is excellent.

My pediatrician recommends Ferberization on the early end for full-term babies without other issues. I have four children and have had a fast, successful outcome with my oldest and the twins - my second baby slept through on his own (and never reverted) beginning at 5 weeks, which was just lucky.

Once we Ferberized, we still would have one night feeding for a bit, maybe a month? So bedtime between 7-8 p.m., then the three Ferberized children would sleep for 6-8 hours before a bottle, then back to bed until morning.

I absolutely do not think it's too early to be moving in the direction of Ferber - recommendations like establishing a consistent routine before bedtime, etc. Babies do not need to have particular maturity to handle a bath at a scheduled time each day or a story before you put them in their crib, whatever the case may be.

 

We never did CIO so I can't answer on when its okay to start... not sure anyone agrees on that. But while you are waiting to do CIO you might try other sleep advice. The book No Cry Sleep Solution helped us out. You might be able to start using some of the advice and never have to do CIO (I wish I had read it when the babies were less then 3 months old). I haven't read it but there is also the healthy sleep habits book for twins. Not sure of the exact title.

It does get better. I think the first 3 months are the worst.

 

Sorry just suggested books to read not great advice for a sleep deprived mom of twins. We did whatever we could to get sleep at that age. Bouncers, swings, dish washer running with babies in bouncers, sound machine, fan.

 

I was going to suggest the same thing (Or "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" if it is easier to get (I found it at the library)) It is an easy read and you can skip to only the chapters that explain the sleep patterns at your baby's age. The nice thing about Weissbluth's book is that he doesn't endorse any single method but teaches about why the methods work and lets you choose the best way for your child. The biggest thing about sleep patterns is you definitely have to adjust for prematurity. Your babies will likely start lengthening their sleep in about 2-4 weeks (6-8 weeks after their due date).

I am not one of the people who insists on waiting for CIO...the older they are the longer it takes and the more the baby can learn to manipulate (smart little buggers). However, you do need to wait until they are 12-16 weeks after their due date before their brain is ready for self soothing and putting themselves to sleep.

We did CIO for naps at 3 1/2 months because they weren't sleeping at ALL during the day unless we were holding them....and then did it at night as soon as they were 4 months old. They are just 7 months old now and are such good sleepers that I cannot imagine having to wait until now to teach them to sleep!

 

We did CIO for naps at 6 months because they refused to go to sleep and I couldn't deal with it anymore. We didn't do CIO for night waking until maybe 8 months. I think it's definitely too early. I'd whatever works to help them sleep. The PPs had some good suggestions! It will get better. Mine started sleeping 8 hrs. straight at 3 months.

 

We didn't do CIO until 11mos then I felt the boys fully understood I cry and mom comes - I totally saw them thinking one night "so if I am bored and cry mom will entertain me". It worked in 3 nights.

At 2mos old I was desperate for any sleep so you do what you have to do. We started our bedtime routine at near that age. The boys always went down at 7pm and would sleep until 1am then up every 2hrs after that. Its so hard those first couple months - hang in there!!! Maybe a family member or a night nurse to come over a night or two a week so you can get some sleep??

 

We started at 4 months with my twin son. Next time around I will start at 10-12 weeks.

 

I was always too scared to do CIO, however there is the time when they do not need to eat at night anymore. I think at 2 months they are way too little. I also think it's not just how old the babies are, but how big they are should also be taken into consideration.
I understand it is hard, but they still need to eat at night.

 

We did CIO for bedtime (switching from rocking to sleep to going to sleep on own) at 8 weeks, and then we did it again at 4 months when it was time to drop the middle of the night feeding. It's really hard - you and DH both need to be committed. But it works so quickly! My son took about 3 nights each time. He cried for a LONG time (over an hour) on 2/3 nights, but it was worth the investment - we have had YEARS of great sleep as the result of a few hours of effort. I know it's not for everyone, but it is effective.