How does your child's teacher tell u about concerns?

My dd has had two incidents in the past dew months.. IMHO they were minor, such as not waning to share her own personal toy from home (sharing is still being learnt at 3 yrs old) and then she stuck her tongue out a few times at the nurse at the school ( which is new behavior as I have never seen her stick her tongue out at anyone before today and I truly believe she didn't know it was even rude).
But the teacher gave her a timeout in both instances but then when I pick up dd she recanted the entire story to me infront of dd and often whatever children were around at the time. I feel strongly that if an issue has been dealt with then it shouldn't be brought up again bc it is over. So, how do your teachers advise u of timeouts or issues during the day?

 

My son is in speech so he comes home with an activity note every day. It tells what books they read, what songs were sung, activities he did and his behavior. It works out very well.

 

I ask the teacher when I pick my boys up. Call me crazy, but I like for them to hear/see me hearing about their day - whether it was good or bad - because I can demonstrate my pride/ happiness over their fantastic days and I can demonstrate my disappointment over the not so good incidents. I also make them apologize for any negative behavior before we leave. They are never too young to be held accountable for their behavior. Guess that is what happens when both your parents are teachers! :laughing:

 

I usually ask at the end of the school day. The teachers won't usually won't discuss concerns in front of the other students but I don't mind them giving me a report in front of my kids.

 

Mine aren't in school but the daycare just let's us know if they've had a "rough day" ie lots of time outs. If its something specific or really concerning (like when we went through the biting phase last year) they tell us in front of the kids but I don't mind and they certainly don't recant the entire story or make a big deal of it.

 

If sticking her tongue out was new she probably picked it up at school. We al ways had run down sheets at the end of the day. I never let them take toys from home as my girls can be very possessive

 

If it was an exceptionally bad day, I get pulled aside when I pick the kids up and the details of what happened explained to me. Then we re-join the kids and she will again tell me some of the highlights of the bad day and I will talk to the kids at that point and the kids have to apologize. If it was a good day, those positive things are also brought up at pick up time and I can acknowledge it then.

 

In preschool, the teachers would give me a quick good or bad day, if there was a bad day, they would tell me what happened. Although, one day, the teacher told me that Jon had had a pretty rough day, and that his behavior had regressed a few months (this was right after the holiday break). Well, it happened that that was the day that the school district had sent someone to observe him in the classroom (a month later we changed his preschool), so in the report was listed all the things he had done that day. It turned out there were about 10 issues that day that were dealt with by the teacher--which was simply translated to me as "a rough day". That was when I realized that they didn't keep a list of wrong doings, and would only get specific if it was really bad. Mostly because he was a 3 year old learning behavior, and once dealt with, he rarely repeated the offence, so he was learning

 

Mine bring up issues when I pick up but they do it in a more positive tone. For example, two weeks ago, Jacob was splashing milk. There is a severely milk allergic kid in the classroom so that's not a good idea and the teachers take milk spills serious. So, when I picked up, the teacher told me "Today we talked to Jacob about keeping his milk in his cup. He thought it was fun to splash it but we reminded him that it needed to stay in the cup".

One thing I want to note. Mine bring up issues when it is an issue. I.e., someone is going to get hurt. Not wanting to share a toy from home or tongue sticking out is not an issue and should be dealt with by the teachers without you having to hear about it. My son who is in first, his teacher is the same way as my daycare teachers. When there is a real issue, I get specifics (she's started to call me now), when he is just goofing around and being a 6 year old, she doesn't tell me anything.

Finally, I agree with Jori. There have been times, when my son was embarrassed enough by a teacher's report that his behavior stopped. So, I don't mind if the kids hear it because sometimes, knowing that mom is going to be happy about their day or not so happy, makes the kid think about their actions.

 

Mine would tell me in front of them... doesn't bother me one bit. That being said, expecting a 3yo to share a toy from home is too much IMO. I wouldn't be happy with it at all. My kids have 'show and tell' where they bring toys from home, but it's their choice to share or not... and they usually do because they get praised so much when they do.

 

At their school, we wait in line in our cars and then the teacher/aide will bring them in the school or to me afterwards. They are in seperate classrooms and both of their teachers have come out early while I was waiting in line to tell me of their concerns.

Just yesterday, Jake's teacher came running out and went up to the car in front of me. Afterwards, she came to my window and told me another student bit Jake and what steps that were taken. It was obvious the car in front of me was the other parent.

 

The school that my girls attend is pretty informal and doesn't report behavior unless it's pretty bad (biting, hiting). We haven't had any of those reports, but I have noticed a few parents getting pulled off to the side for a fairly intense conversation. I'm assuming that's what they're discussing. Either way, it's very private and not with the child listening. There are less formal alerts too, just a quick "Piper did a great job in music today" or "Cricket mentioned she didn't like the lunch you packed" with the kids around. I think they do it that way so that the parents will know what's going on and can follow up with the child.

On a side note - my girls' school doesn't allow toys from home specifically because kids have problems sharing them.

 

My boys' preschool does the same thing. For the most part they don't even bring things up if it's not an issue unless I ask about it. Sometimes, I have to ask if anything happened as the class is often still busy when I pick up the boys. The teachers don't call unless it's a health concern. Once, I was called because Kiefer wouldn't stop crying the entire day and they were concerned as that was not normal behavior for him. If they think one of my kids are sick and should see a doctor or go home, they'll call, but otherwise, no calls. I don't have a problem about them talking to me about my boys' day in front of them. Mostly, they are not even paying attention anyhow, but also because if they see that it's a concern enough for the teacher to the point it's brought up to Mommy or Daddy, it'll appear to be something serious enough that they need to change their approach or attitude for next time. But, the teachers don't always say it in the most positive way to me. But, they are definitely not dramatic in the way they tell me if something is wrong or how they did. A lot of the times, if it's not an issue they feel worthy of me hearing about, they'll just tell me how wonderful they are unless I ask specifics. No need to let me worry about something that is perfectly normal and is nothing to concern myself with.