How do you manage at night?

We're transitioning right now from the NICU to home and our 2nd baby is coming home tomorrow. We can barely handle night times with just DS home, I am terrified of what is going to happen tomorrow night!

The problem is that they're not breastfeeding much yet, so I'm having to pump every 3 hours around the clock, on top of caring for him.

Basically, I try to wake up, make him a bottle (breastmilk or formula) and leave it to warm while I change his diaper. Then I feed him, burp him, get him somewhat settled so I can pump for 1/2 an hour. Then I've got to put the milk away & label it, rinse out the pumping stuff and bottle, get DS, and try to get us back to sleep. Sometimes there's another diaper change before we go to sleep.

It takes about an hour or an hour and a half, so I'm getting about 90 minutes of sleep at a time and definitely no more than 2 hours. I can't have DH take over because I still have to get up to pump, but I'm so sleep deprived I can't do it on my own to give him a better stretch of time. To make it more complicated, we have a toddler, I have to find time to visit DD2 in the NICU (takes about 3 hours out of the day for 1 visit), and no, I'm not getting any naps in during the day. I get three 90 minute stretches of sleep at night and that's it. I can't take this, and just thinking about adding another baby to the mix brings me to tears.

Please help! If you were pumping all the time, what was/is your routine with that and the babies? How did/do you make it work??

 

I did the same thing for 5 weeks before I lost it. We caved in and hired a newborn care specialist to watch the babies at night. She is worth every $$$!! My babies kept me up ALL night,and I was getting about 2-3hours of sleep per day. If you can get some help, whether it's hired or a friend or family, do it. For your own sanity. It's the best decision we've made!! Goodluck and I hope you get some rest.

 

I figured out how to rig my pump so my nursing bra holds it in place. I prepare 6 bottles before bed. At each feeding, I warm the bottles, set up my pump, put each baby in a boppy pillow and feed them simultaneously while pumping. When they finish, I let them be while I take my pumped milk to the fridge and rinse/wash everything out, then return to the babies and change their diapers before putting them back to bed. Changing them at this time after the feeding helps them to sleep a bit longer.

My feedings used to take about 2 hours (with breastfeeding, then bottles, then diaper changes, then pumping, then rinsing...) and now they take 40-60 minutes.

 

Sounds about right. I didn't pump or breastfeed, but I do recall(ok vague memories) of little to no sleep for the first 3 months. Its hard at this time, but all you can do is grab some sleep when you can. lol I recall falling asleep in my car, as Dh was driving us someplace.
Take it when you can get it. But they grow fast. Soon it will be much better. My babies will be 5 soon. I said once at that age I'd pay for time to fly.

 

boy youre busy! and pretty tired i bet! i pumped while mine were in the NICU, and for 5 weeks after they came home. i was all alone at night and it was more than i could handle. after trying time after time to breastfeed while pumping, i gave up and let my milk dry up. best decision i ever made! i still dont get much sleep, but more than i was before! all you momma's who keep pumping.. :bow2: lol

 

Hang in there...it will get better! The first week or so we had the babies in a bassinet in the family room that's next to the kitchen and a bathroom and DH and I slept on the couches so I could eat/nap/nurse/pump/change diapers, etc. without wasting precious minutes walking up and down stairs. I nursed first and then pumped while DH fed bottled expressed BM until I got my supply up and they got good at nursing...once they both start nursing exclusively, thengs get MUCH better, especially if you can do tandem.

I can't imagine having a toddler to care for, too...is it possible for you to get somone else to care for your toddler and make meals for you so you can lock yourself away with the babies once DD2 comes home? You could start a nursing marathon and hopefully get them latching well and nursing more efficiently (less need to pump!).

Oh, if you have an old sports bra that you don't care about, you can cut holes in it to make pumping hands free. I found that if I pumped while I ate I was able to relax and the letdowns came faster...

GL and congrats on your babies! For me, things were much better by my 6 week dr visit...before that it is all a sleepless blur! Just keep telling yourself how good your BM is for those babies and do whatever it takes to get through. :hug: :hug: :hug: I remember how rough that time was, but you can do it!

 

Congrats on bringing your second twin home

Know how you feel with the pumping and night time feedings. It really does feel like double duty. First of all, I'm not sure if I read your post correctly, so please tell me if I'm wrong, but even though thats really lovely of you to let DH off the hook at night since you're up anyway, you're really not helping either of you out, as you're doing double the work, and you're not doubt exceptionally tired (and probably cranky) in the morning.

DH and I had a routine down. Every night, we would set the clean bottles out, and he would put the pump and spare parts (enough for each feed so we didn't have to wash them) by the bed. When the babies woke up, one of us would change diapers, the other would prep the bottles. We never changed a baby after a feed as it would wake them up, and it would be impossible to get them to go back down again.

We'd set each baby up on a boppy pillow in front of us on the bed, and feed one each. I would pump in bed right after a feed, or I would use a hands free pumping bra and pump at the same time.

All in all, the routine probably took about 40 minutes. One of us would return babies to their crib (right by our bed because it was easier), and the other would dump all bottles and pump parts into the sink to soak overnight, and we'd wash them with fresh water in the morning.

Something to add: For the first few weeks we tried to avoid talking to each other during night time feeds, as being sleep deprived, somehow we always managed to insult the other person, even if the comment was innocent! A few weeks into it, we'd try and talk more during night time feeds to try and stay awake.

Best of luck - just remember, its totally do-able. Its not fun, but like everything else in life, this time will pass pretty quickly You'll be ok!

 

I breastfed my twins also. Honestly, it was hard for the first 3 months. I think my body just got used to sleeping in small intervals. It will calm down, and it will work out. There will be times when you want to loose it, I did. But I promise, it calms down and becomes routine. My husband and my mother helped out a lot. Get a couple people to be your main support. Eventually you will be able to nap when your babies nap. I read that I wouldn't believe that I made it throught the first months...now that I look back...I can't believe it. I did it. You can, and will do it. Now my babies are almost 10 months old. They are healthy and sleeping through the night. Hang in there. THis is a great place for support!!

Hugs,
Carrie

 

Thank you, everyone! I took some of your suggestions last night and changed up the routine a bit.
1. I attempted pumping handsfree while bottle feeding DS on a pillow on my lap
2. I changed DS right before bed so it limited the number of diaper changes
3. Before bed I gave DS a big feeding and then right as we went to sleep I topped him off a little--it gave us all 3 solid hours of sleep!

It took me about 40 minutes, I got enough rest to function, and DH got enough solid sleep that he's been able to take care of our toddler today while I took a nap. Hopefully it wasn't a fluke, and hopefully it will still work with a second baby thrown in the mix!

debfitz, oh that sounds like such a good idea! Unfortunately, with me as a SAHM our budget is tight enough as it is.

lizzybo, thanks for sharing your routine! I can't figure out how to prop the breastshields in my nursing bra, though. Was your bra one of the partial drop fronts or did the entire cup drop down?

cape bretoner, that's the hard part with an older child--finding the chance to get a nap in!

cottoncandysky, your Sean was the exact same birthweight as my DD2 was! I can definitely understand why someone would decide to give up pumping, it's like doing double the work at every feeding.

mamabee, that's exactly what I'm hoping for. To be able to exclusively nurse them and to be able to tandem nurse. Right now they're still using nipple shields (there are still a couple weeks until their due date) so they're only getting partial feeds and it has to be one at a time. I'll have to try the sportsbra thing, thanks! I watch tv while I pump, to relax and try to stay awake!

aandja, yeah, you read it right! I'm trying to spare DH a feeding at night because if he gets that extra sleep, he's more able to take care of our 2 year old during the day so I can fit in a nap with the babies. It sounds crazy, but it does benefit me in the long run. You're so right about the not talking at night, though. Everytime we do it turns into bickering and I start crying because Im totally overwhelmed.

cacorsi, you're right, we need help. I went ahead and called my parents to see if we can come up with some kind of schedule for them to come over and help. I think twinparents should get some kind of medal for surviving the first few months. This is so hard!

 

There was no easy way at that point for us. I don't know how long you've had one at home and one in the NICU, but it was SOOOO much easier emotionally once they were both home and the second one didn't really add that much time to the middle of the night scramble. I was pumping too at that time and up to just past 6 months.

First of all we took shifts when possible (ie when things went smoothly). We fed the boys and put them down around 8:30 or 9 and I went straight to bed. DH would deal with any fussing and the midnight feeding by himself so I could get a stretch of sleep. This didn't always work, but it was a life saver when it did. On a good night this was the plan - I would get up at the first cries at 3 am (or when my boobs were going to explode) warm a bottle and feed whoever was up first in the pnp bassinet by my desk while I pumped. When they were done and asleep I would swap babies and feed the other. I had enough pumping supplies that I could just toss the dirty ones in the sink to deal with in the morning. It took an hour sometimes more sometimes less - I did only pump 15 minutes over night.

We tried both getting up every time and that was a nightmare and we were at each others thoats. There were still many nights when I had them both in boppies and all three of us were crying because no one would go to sleep. We also had about a 2 month period where DH and I didn't sleep in the same bed at the same time because DS1 wouldn't sleep more than an hour unless we were holding him. So until 2/3 am DH had him on the couch and after that any sleep I got was on the couch with him. I'm not telling you that to scare you it worked for us and it's going to take you finding what works for you and your DH. I figure it's a given that none are excellent sleep filled options!

Just keep saying - it gets easier - they will eventually sleep more! It's true, I promise.

eta: This was a livesaver hands free pumping bra. I tried the homemade versions and this was still worth every penny.

 

I was doing the same thing for a while but I finally gave up the pumping cause even pumping every 3 hours I was not even getting enough for 1 baby let alone 2 and I was exhausted.....but even now my routine for night time feeding are I get both babies up at the same time...(most of the time they wake each other up anyways) and I head to the changing table change them both and then put them in the recliner and I make bottles and come back and I feed them both in the recliner it works better I tried the bed but that's kinda hard so I put them down the sides of the arms of the chair and get them fed at the same time....it's murder to do one then the other....heck you'll never sleep.


http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii150/R...Mybabies005.jpg

 

Congratulations on your twins! COngrat on your 2nd baby coming home.. I'm sure it is nice to have them both together and not have to travel to see them. The first few months with twins at home is sooo hard. I understand the frustration & fear. I was lucky in that my dh was home with me for the first 3 weeks and my twins were full term. For about a week prior to him going back to work though, I was petrified about being alone with the babies.
You've recieved a alot of good information here already so I am going to cut to breastfeeding. Is there a reason you are not doing it much? I suggest you try every day... make it every other feeding if not every feeding. Then offer the bottle. What would be ideal is for you to pick a weekend and sit on the couch and your only 'job' is to feed the babies (breastfeed). Have someone there to change diapers and feed you! This will help your supply and the babies will learn to latch! Please come to our breastfeeding forum (link in my sig) for some advice & support! We have stickies there especially for NICU babies!
I'm glad you had a good night last night. You will have hiccups along the way, but it will get better. For the first thee weeks I pumped after every nursing session and it was a lot of work! I hope you get successful at breastfeeding.. lifting a shirt is a lot easier, especially at night! :hug:

 

Good luck, it is tough in the beginning, but once you get into a routine, you will see that it really is manageable. What we did was that my DH took all feedings until 2am and then I took over. I still got up and pumped, but it was only for 15 minutes and I was back in bed. I highly recommend getting the hands free nursing bra. You can definitely make it yourself (as pp mentioned), but I bought one that has been great. It was such a lifesaver and I'm using it now with this baby for when I have to pump. I put it on over my nursing bra or tank (when I have them open) so I don't even have to take off any clothes. We always had our bottles prepared ahead of time for the evening and kept them in a mini fridge in our room (that's where I would also put what I pumped). After we finished a feeding, we would just set out the bottles for the next feeding so they would be room temperature and we didn't have to worry about warming them up.

 

QUOTE(artemis @ Oct 15 2008, 04:39 PM) [snapback]1027360[/snapback]
We're transitioning right now from the NICU to home and our 2nd baby is coming home tomorrow. We can barely handle night times with just DS home, I am terrified of what is going to happen tomorrow night!

The problem is that they're not breastfeeding much yet, so I'm having to pump every 3 hours around the clock, on top of caring for him.

Basically, I try to wake up, make him a bottle (breastmilk or formula) and leave it to warm while I change his diaper. Then I feed him, burp him, get him somewhat settled so I can pump for 1/2 an hour. Then I've got to put the milk away & label it, rinse out the pumping stuff and bottle, get DS, and try to get us back to sleep. Sometimes there's another diaper change before we go to sleep.

It takes about an hour or an hour and a half, so I'm getting about 90 minutes of sleep at a time and definitely no more than 2 hours. I can't have DH take over because I still have to get up to pump, but I'm so sleep deprived I can't do it on my own to give him a better stretch of time. To make it more complicated, we have a toddler, I have to find time to visit DD2 in the NICU (takes about 3 hours out of the day for 1 visit), and no, I'm not getting any naps in during the day. I get three 90 minute stretches of sleep at night and that's it. I can't take this, and just thinking about adding another baby to the mix brings me to tears.

Please help! If you were pumping all the time, what was/is your routine with that and the babies? How did/do you make it work??


I only slept 90 minutes at a time. Get whatever help you can. Even if you only have to get up to pump, that's still better than nothing. It did get better really quickly for me. By 5-6 weeks or so, they at least slept consistently between waking up. Just get help - lots and lots of help.

 

I had Twin A home four days before Twin B. My husband and I look back at those four days and laugh at how easy it was and how hard we thought it was. The day we brought Taylor home was so bitter sweet...we knew we were in for it. We made it through the first two months and are still alive (that was with my DH working 72 hrs a week). I pumped and bottle fed, too. Then my peditrician said I could switch Abby to reg formula or bf her, but I had to keep Taylor on Neosure (I was hoping to start bfing both tandem, no such luck since I still had to pump and fortify for Taylor...By 5 weeks I was down to only pumping twice a day and giving each one ebm bottle a day. By 7 weeks I stopped pumping all together...I couldn't do it. I still wish I could've bf, but realize it just wasn't in the cards. If you can, hire someone to help at night. I have a girl who stays with me four nights a week 11pm -7am while my husband is working. It is great, she calms them when they are fussy between feedings, so I can sleep and she is much cheaper than a night nurse. We are on a 4hr schedule 8 - 12 - 4 - 8. I stay up with her to do the midnight feeding and then I sleep until 4am and feed Abby (she is on a Level 2 nipple and can finish 5 oz in no time at all) then I sleep until dh gets home at 8am and he helps with that feeding. Then I am up for the day with them while dh sleeps, then we do it all over again. My mom comes during the day and helps with laundry and she is a pro at washing and preparing bottles and she helps with the feedings. When I have to feed both at the same time it is a challenge, but I have a podee and the extra hand which I use with Abby but it still is a PITA. Sometimes I wake one up at 3hrs and feed one right after the other, but it kind of throws off the schedule. You will find what works for you and just remember...it will get easier. It already is for me! Oh! And I felt like I had to pump every 3 hrs at first, but then when I went to only pumping twice a day, I swear I was getting just as much milk. I think the sleep deprivation and stress was hurting my milk supply. Maybe try going 5 hours between pumping at night and have dh keep doing his feeding so you can sleep...just the extra 2 hrs of sleep does wonders! I know i did for me. Good luck and keep us posted!!

 

I didn't read through everyone's posts, but it seems to me that the labeling of the milk could be done in the morning, or have it labeled before bed so all you need to do is just store it. Also, can you buy extra pump parts so you don't have to wash them at night?

Also, I didn't change the boys at every night feeding unless they were soaked or poopy. At some point, when they STTN, they have to be used to sleeping in a wet diaper.

I am SO happy for you that your other LO is coming home.

 

i am in the same boat. sometimes i prop one bottle up to feed both at one tme, i also only pump once at night then , pump later in the same bottle, put it in fridge in pumping bottles. no labeling or any thing. i also don't always change diapers every time, unless they are pretty full. sounds awful, but still no diaper rash.




QUOTE(artemis @ Oct 15 2008, 03:39 PM) [snapback]1027360[/snapback]
We're transitioning right now from the NICU to home and our 2nd baby is coming home tomorrow. We can barely handle night times with just DS home, I am terrified of what is going to happen tomorrow night!

The problem is that they're not breastfeeding much yet, so I'm having to pump every 3 hours around the clock, on top of caring for him.

Basically, I try to wake up, make him a bottle (breastmilk or formula) and leave it to warm while I change his diaper. Then I feed him, burp him, get him somewhat settled so I can pump for 1/2 an hour. Then I've got to put the milk away & label it, rinse out the pumping stuff and bottle, get DS, and try to get us back to sleep. Sometimes there's another diaper change before we go to sleep.

It takes about an hour or an hour and a half, so I'm getting about 90 minutes of sleep at a time and definitely no more than 2 hours. I can't have DH take over because I still have to get up to pump, but I'm so sleep deprived I can't do it on my own to give him a better stretch of time. To make it more complicated, we have a toddler, I have to find time to visit DD2 in the NICU (takes about 3 hours out of the day for 1 visit), and no, I'm not getting any naps in during the day. I get three 90 minute stretches of sleep at night and that's it. I can't take this, and just thinking about adding another baby to the mix brings me to tears.

Please help! If you were pumping all the time, what was/is your routine with that and the babies? How did/do you make it work??

 

My bras are the Playtex nursing bras and the front panel comes all the way down and hooks at the top. I got them at Mervyn's on clearance for $5!

Also, I don't even label my milk that I pump. I go through all of it the following day. I just put the bottles in the order in which they were pumped.