How do you know if you're ready for another baby?

The girls are almost 16 months and I'm starting to miss the whole little baby time, I don't know if I'm being stupid. I would love another baby but how do I know if we can handle it - Financially - Physically - Mentally? Now a days how do people afford to have 4 kids? Does anyone have any tips?

 

I hope you will forgive me for saying this, but aren't you in the middle of some hard times with XH? I hope you will consider the big picture before making such a life altering decision for your whole family. I hope that you get things to a good place and have the family that you ultimately would like one day! :hug99:

 

I guess it's a really personal question. DH wants another one sooo badly, but it just scares me to have to spread my attention! You'll know when you're ready! Good luck with your decision!

 

I don't think anyone is ever really financially ready to add to the family. That might be just me though!

When I decided to get prego the 2nd time, Gabe was 15 months old. I knew that I wanted my children close together, so I decided to start then. It took me a year to get prego with Gabe (with dr help) and then got prego first cycle (again with dr help) with the girls. The girls were born when Gabe was 23months old.

As for being ready, that's such a personal decision! I had some fertility issues that would worsen with age, so I felt like time was of the essence so to speak. Physically, I knew I was ready...I had normal cycles for about a year. I just knew.

 

We are actually going through counseling right now and doing better (believe me I won't jump into anything). Everyday is getting better, we haven't fought in over a month. We've learned how to sit down and talk with eachother about things.

 

I don't know about being ready, but I know that I am NOT ready. I feel like we are in such a good routine and everything is going well, why upset the apple cart? I honestly can't imagine going back to the newborn stage. Although I do sometimes want to hold a little baby again, I really don't miss the lack of sleep and all that stuff.

 

Me and DH were having some probs, pre-pregnancy and during the first trimester of this pregnancy. But I knew I wanted another baby, and I think this will add joy to our relationship... we are doing much better now though. It wasn't ever anything really serious, just stupid bickering.

 

QUOTE(boogerkw @ Jul 17 2007, 07:54 AM) [snapback]334274[/snapback]
We are actually going through counseling right now and doing better (believe me I won't jump into anything). Everyday is getting better, we haven't fought in over a month. We've learned how to sit down and talk with eachother about things.


As a counelor, I am glad to hear you won't jump into anything. Adding the stress of a pregnancy too soon is a sure way to destory the progess you have made. I'm sure you will know when your family becomes stable and solid and appropriate to add a baby into the mix.

Good luck.

 

As hard as we tried for our two peanuts and as much joy as they give us. I know I do not want any more children. I only have so much of myself to give and it all goes to the boys and what little I have left goes to DH and myself.

After 16 years of just DH and I before the kids it has been a hard adjustment not having the freedom of mobility, sleep, etc we used to have. The boys are now just getting in a good routine, starting preschool in a few weeks and sleeping, where I feel like I am doing okay and a human again.

I want to focus on the family I have and do not worry about should I have more. I am complete with DH and the boys.

 

Glad to hear that you aren't jumping into anything! I hated to say anything, but I felt like I had to for some reason. I hope you won't take great offense!

Good luck with the counseling! I wish you the best and I think you'll figure out when you are truly ready for the next one! :hug99:

 

Sometime you just know and sometimes you just go for it. I am glad to hear you are waiting for things to be on solid ground before you ttc. I am currently ph with #6 and I got pg when my twins were 16 months. From personal experience, I can tell you that emotional stress during pregnancy is horrible. It makes it so much worse. I wish you and your family the best.

 

I know I won't be having any more. Sometimes I think I might like a little girl. Then I come to my senses. I think of how I feel every time they go to sleep and I get an hour to myself. I love it. I miss having time for me and my things, I already feel so stretched I couldn't imagine adding another one. I also have to think of travel, our families live in Australia. When we fly we get one boy each. What do you do with the third child?

 

I think no matter how many children you have, a mother always has enough of herself to go around. The housework may falter for a while and you may not get as much sleep as you would like, but you ALWAYS have enough love for all of your kids. You will know when you are ready!!!

 

I'm usually the first one to say "go for it!" Adding one more or even two in the case of twins, may not make such a dramatic difference as you might think... However, I do think it's extremely important to strengthen the homefront first. You need to put lots of time investment into your marriage, make sure it is strong, that you are really on the same page over the family issues before launching into a new phase. My dh and I have always had a very good relationship. We've been married 6 years and I can honestly say that the only crises we've ever gone through have really occurred during the trying periods of my two pregnancies. We are on pg #3 and have learned our lesson. This time around we are both being much better about communicating and investing time into "us"...not just the dream of another baby or our current children. Pg is a difficult time...This pg for me has had a lot of complications...resulting in about 10 weeks of "pelvic rest"...and more weeks of dh really having to step up to help get the minimum chores done around our house. for some marriages this might not have been a big deal, but it was really hard for my dh...if we hadn't been really good at communicating and putting the time in I think it could have just really added a lot of stress to our marriage. Sometimes you do get a curve ball like this in a pg, so you have to go into the pg prepared to deal with it. I wasn't all that prepared, but thankfully, we were vigilant enough to deal with it...our past time investments into our marriage did pay off. Anyway just some thoughts to chew on... I get the baby urge in a big way, usually around 18 months, but sometimes you have to balance that urge with other priorities...and sometimes you have to toss those cautions to the wind!! ...like excessive worrying over finances... Some people have such high standards of living that they stress over the decsion of cutting cable television or turning that SUV over for a more economical vehicle vs. having another baby... I think those are silly priorities...but obviously if you have trouble getting food on the table for your current children then financial priorities do have to take a front seat.