How do you keep your one year old from hitting?

My DD is going crazy or something. She likes to hit us in the face. Every time i grab her little hand and tel her No and how its hurts.. blah blah blah.. But she wont stop. She hits DS, DD1, Dh and I. This is getting crazy. what else can i do?

 

NO advice, just commiserating. I have 2 hitters. It's a pretty constant "We Don't Hit" around this place . We also grab their wrists & say that firmly. If they do it again, we take them & put them elsewhere (away from us, as punishment). I'd say 95% of our hitting is just out of excitement...luckily the hitting out of anger isn't too constant (yet )....

I'm looking forward to other responses, although I'm sure most of them are going to reiterate that "it's a phase" & to "stay consistent with your discipline", right ?

 

yes Nurseandrea.. thats about it. stay consistent. 1 yr old is old enough for time out, so you could start that if you feel comfortable. If they are hitting to be mean, then they should be disciplined. 1 min per year old. if they get up, put them back. I wish I had started using time out early on; maybe by now, mine would have gotten it. <_<

 

We have had the most success with teaching our boys an alternative. They weren't hitting us out of anger, they just kind of got overexcited and wanted to touch us/each other and didn't know exactly HOW to go about it. I spent several days teaching them "gentle", showing them how to gently stroke me, my husband, their brother and making a BIG deal about how great it was when they did a gentle touch. Now if I see them about to hit, I just say "gentle" and 9 times out of 10 they'll do a gentle touch. This is also how I get them to say sorry. If they hurt their brother, I say "Go say sorry" and then they go and give a gentle little stroke (and one of my sons says "sorry" at the same time - the other doesn't really talk yet) and then a kiss.

Hitting is a part of growing up and learning the limits. But I really found that just constantly saying "no" was ineffective. I had to teach them an alternative way to make physical contact with the people in their lives. My boys are 19 months and still aren't ready for time outs or anything like that. I am firm with my "no hitting" policy but I don't think it's fair to say "no hitting" and then not offer an example of what they SHOULD be doing instead, whether it's a gentle touch if they're excited and wanting to be physical or learning to say "NO" to their brother when he takes a toy instead of clocking him in the chest! In my experience as a mother (granted, a new mother!) and a kindergarten teacher, the best way to teach your children effective and pleasant social behaviour is to get right down there in the trenches with them and model good behaviour - play, dramatize good socializing, and lots of praise for GOOD behaviour. Also, I think it's important to have age-appropriate expectations. Toddlers are always testing the limits - it's natural.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. We've gone from lots of hitting and even some biting to practically no negative physical contact - for the time being anyway!

 

Yep, stay consistent with discipline. My girls have always been hitters, and continue to do so. They are starting to understand what happens if they hit. At that age I tried to redirect as much as possible.

 

QUOTE(CHJH @ Oct 7 2008, 05:46 PM) [snapback]1015802[/snapback]
We have had the most success with teaching our boys an alternative. They weren't hitting us out of anger, they just kind of got overexcited and wanted to touch us/each other and didn't know exactly HOW to go about it. I spent several days teaching them "gentle", showing them how to gently stroke me, my husband, their brother and making a BIG deal about how great it was when they did a gentle touch. Now if I see them about to hit, I just say "gentle" and 9 times out of 10 they'll do a gentle touch. This is also how I get them to say sorry. If they hurt their brother, I say "Go say sorry" and then they go and give a gentle little stroke (and one of my sons says "sorry" at the same time - the other doesn't really talk yet) and then a kiss.



Wow, this is good. :good: thanks for sharing that! Today I put B in "timeout" which meant him sitting in a corner while I stood behind him, not looking at him. I'm not sure if it worked though. Good luck- this age is hard, especially since they don't talk!

 

I'm having the same problem with one of mine (1 year + 2 weeks old). I really like the suggestion of teaching him an alternative way to touch - I'm goingn to try that. I'm sure he doesn't understand that it hurts.

 

We learned 'gentle' here too. That really helped. And I didn't do timeouts when they were just over one, but I did remove myself and my attention if they hit and that seemed to help on the occasions when they were to wound up to be able to be gentle or soft.