How do you handle the THROWING of toys, food, silverware, in your 18 month + toddlers?

I haven't been over here in forever it seems! I went back to work in August and just have a bit of time in the evenings to pop in and usually hit The Den. We've been moving pretty smoothly along until recently Finley has decided that he likes to throw everything for any reason at all. When he's mad, he throws something (and if he's not holding something that he can throw he'll go find something and pick it up just to throw it! ). When he's just playing, he's throwing things. When he's eating, he's picking up his food, smiling, saying "GO!" and launching the food across the room. You name the activity, he's found a way to fit throwing into it!

So, at mealtimes we've started turning his highchair away from us and saying "No throwing, time out." and then we go on feeding Sullivan. Finley gets pretty upset about it and *usually* when we turn him back around he'll decide not to throw any more. When he's playing and starts throwing things, we'll remind him not to throw toys (and sometimes we'll say, you can throw a ball - go get a ball). When he throws b/c he is mad, we'll make him pick it up and but it back where it goes. If he continues to throw out of anger or just b/c he's in the mood to throw - we'll take the object away and put him in a 1-minute time-out.

I feel like we're just repeating ourselves every single day without seeing any real response from him. Our older DS was not a thrower, so this is new territory for us! Does anyone have any advice? Thanks!

 

So he is just slighly older than my DS who happens to have one heck of an arm!

For food: We kinda do 3 strikes. We remind him we don't throw our food 2x. On the 3rd time the meal is over. Period dot. I used to think it was cruel, but I feed them regularly and it gets results. Generally I will take his tray off his high chair or back him up away from the table. He still has to sit there while the rest of the family finishes dinner. I figure this lets him see what eating is supposed to look like when he doesn't want to do it himself.

Same goes for utensils. You get warnings, or I wont give them at all.

As for toys, we do what you do and make him pick it up and set it down nicely. We also give him things he can throw and show him other ways to play with toys. Balls are a HUGE hit in this house. I must have 50 of them and they are everywhere. Lately Ive been showing him he can roll the ball, or kick the ball, or throw the ball against the wall etc. If he throws things that shouldnt be thrown repeatedly we do time out and the object is put away for a period of time.

Best of luck Jori, its frustrating but things have gotten MUCH better at my house with consistency

 

Elliot is my thrower - and he LOVES to throw balls and he can really throw them far and of course we love it and encourage it - so he loves to throw everything else! I think they find it difficult to distinguish what they can throw and what they can't at this age! I just don't make a fuss of the objects that I don't want thrown along with the usualy stern face and 'no'.

 

My DS is also a thrower. I warn him x2 then take the toy away. He totally gets it. We also have balls for throwing.

If my LOs throw their utensils on the floor, they stay there. The meal is ended if they throw food. They´re getting the message!

Hope things get easier.

 

Tyler is my thrower. :angry: He goes straight to time out for throwing anything. We do 1-2-3 Magic but throwing is an automatic time out. If he throws at the dinner table. He is done with dinner. Period. Just stay consistent. I hope they outgrow it really, really, really soon.

 

I would agree with consistency, it is frustrating to constantly have to repeat yourself, but I have found this does work best for my two.
Food: when they throw it, meal time is over. End of story. Now they have gotten to the point that when they start to throw food, they are telling us they are done eating, so now we are teaching them to use their words, at least say "Done!" rather then throw it.
Utensils: They get three shots with them, if they end up on the floor, they get taken away.
Toys: If they are thrown in anger or to antagonize each other, it's a TO. 1-2 minutes in our laps. My kids hate to be still, so this is good punishment for them.
Good luck!

 

Any type of food, plates, utensils results in an immediate end to the meal. Period. So far, they aren't starving to death. My DS is the one who throws food. It makes him angry, but he knows he's not supposed to do it, so I figure he doesn't need warnings on that.

Throwing of toys, I don't really care except - throwing at a person or throwing in anger. Either one, I take the toy away and put the offender in a 1-minute time out. My DD is our angry thrower.

I agree with everyone else on consistency. You can just see on my DD's face that she is deliberately pushing to figure out where the boundaries are, so I figure it's my job to show her - over and over and over. The first break in consistency, and she thinks she's found a loophole!

 

Thanks guys! I have firmed up a bit with the food throwing. They seem to be catching on a bit better; tears are pretty immediate. Same with the silverware throwing - first throw, warning - second throw, fork is gone for good. I've noticed that Finley is mostly throwing objects when he's really tired or extremely grumpy so I'm working on being more proactive in avoiding the meltodwns!

 

Are you sure that your Finely isn't really a Sullivan, as in one of my boys? LOL!

Mine do this all the time, especially Eli.

You know it's great entertainment when they aren't climbing and diving over the superyard or biting each other.

We got hardcore, and took away all the toys for a while. That actually helped because they didn't have anything to throw.

Mine throw for every reason--anger, happiness, sadness, frustration, hunger, showing off, to see cause and effect, you name it.

I'm just empathizing if I had a solution I would have stopped this a long time ago. I might have to take some of these suggestions.