How do you handle one taking things from the other?

Do you let it go or do you take it and give it back to the one who had "it" first? I am struggling with this one. They now want what the other one has and will go to great lengths to get "it." Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Oct 21 2007, 08:04 PM) [snapback]460946[/snapback]
Do you let it go or do you take it and give it back to the one who had "it" first? I am struggling with this one. They now want what the other one has and will go to great lengths to get "it." Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.

At our house it depends. If they are having fun and passing it back and forth I let them play. If one steals it from the other and the first one cries I intervene by asking for the item and give it back. Then I get something the second one would like.

 

This is going on big time at my house right now. It's even gotten to the point where they knock each other down!! Usually, if I see it being taken I will give it back to the one who originally had it telling them "Don't take" and give the "thief" something else to play with.

 

I kinda do what Jenny does. If the other one doesn't protest and could care less then I let it go but if the other one was just totally happy and into the toy then I intervene and say "she was playing with that" and give the toy back and distract the her with another toy. You can still get away with that at this age. When they get a bit older, the whole distraction thing becomes a little harder. Now it's more of an explanation that we don't do that followed by a small tantrum (since they still don't understand the explanation) and then they eventually get over it or the other one is done playing with it and then I say, "Ok, she is done. Now you can play with it." I'm prepared for this to go on for a long time to come

 

We do what Jenny does too. This is a hard one though, because Megan always steals from Haley and a tantrum always ensues from Haley. Megan is getting better though with sharing.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Oct 21 2007, 10:04 PM) [snapback]460946[/snapback]
Do you let it go or do you take it and give it back to the one who had "it" first? I am struggling with this one. They now want what the other one has and will go to great lengths to get "it." Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.


My girls have started to do this. I usually let them work it out since this is going to be an ongoing issue. However, if the one whose toy was 'stolen' gets upset, I give the toy back and give the 'thief' another toy to play with. Since they are little this works, but I can see how this tactic won't fly once they get older and smarter.

 

We have this issue as well. Jackson will scoot over to Wyatt and take his toy...even if I gave him a similar toy. Wyatt doesn't seem to care. If I sitting with them playing I ususally take it back and say that he has his own toy and not to take Wyatt's. Last week they had a buffet of toys in front of them and Wyatt was cautiously looking at what Jackson was going to do and as soon as Jackson picked a toy, Wyatt took it from him. The kid is learning. I guess I will need to start being more proactive about teaching them to share.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Oct 22 2007, 02:04 AM) [snapback]460946[/snapback]
Do you let it go or do you take it and give it back to the one who had "it" first? I am struggling with this one. They now want what the other one has and will go to great lengths to get "it." Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.


Oh man, I sure am going through this right now, as well. I try to wait to see what they will do. Kind of if they will just work it out. Sometimes they do, however there are times when I have to intervene and give it to the baby who had it first and offer the other another toy. They are really mean to each other at times. One will pull the other's hair while the other will try to pin down the other like their on the WWE. I'll be watching like, what in the world?? One likes to slap the face of anyone who holds her. She thinks its funny. And please, before it's even said, there is no violence in my home and they are not doing what they see. We are very loving toward one another, so I'm just puzzled. I am just mortified sometimes at how they treat each other.

Then they make my heart melt those times when they try to give each other a kiss or a hug or gently touch each others face, or look at each other and smile. :hug99:

 

Thanks so much for the great advice everyone. Much appreciated.

 

We've been going through this & this week it's really gotten worse. Yesterday was so bad that after dinner my sil came over & took dd to Grandma's house, just to give them a break from each other!! I think they needed that, though......I'm not kidding, from the moment they woke up it was fighting, hitting, pinching, pulling hair, knocking each other over.....everything except biting. I had to be pretty involved yesterday b/c of how physical they got with each other, but most of the time it just depends. Like the pp's, if they don't seem to mind I won't step in. Even sometimes when they do fuss at each other, I'll let them work it out (keeping an eye on them, though.) But when I do step in I say something like, "We don't take toys away" or "Zoe had that, can you give it back?" and try to emphasize the word "share". It's hard, though, b/c they're really too young to understand sharing. When they start hitting each other, though, it's so hard.....but we say "sorry" or give hugs and they do pretty good with that.

 

QUOTE(Her Royal Jennyness @ Oct 22 2007, 02:18 AM) [snapback]460967[/snapback]
At our house it depends. If they are having fun and passing it back and forth I let them play. If one steals it from the other and the first one cries I intervene by asking for the item and give it back. Then I get something the second one would like.



That is what we do, too!