How do you handle attack toddlers in public places?

A friend of mine, Lisa and her daughter Francesca went shopping with my twins, Rianna and Justin at the mall. It sort of ruined our shopping day after our scary moment at the restaurant. We were at lunch and just finished eating. The restaurant did not have a lot of people but with a few little ones. I put my son Justin down because I knew he needed some freedom to run around a little bit before putting him back in the stroller. This mall does not have a play ground for their age. We went to this mall for the first time in years because we heard they had a lot of additional stores. Anyway, I took my son to the entrance that was enough to run a little bit while I kept an eye on my daughter, Rianna in the stroller. Apparently, a little girl ran up to my son behind me (I didn't know) and grab Justin's neck but I didn't see what she had in her hands. It all happened in seconds. I grab the little girl's arm pulling her away at the same time took the knife and fork out of her hands. Justin was screaming on top of his lung and cried hard. I check his neck, arms, and his face but nothing appear to be "hurt" anywhere. My friend didn't see us because she was so busy taking care of Francesa in the high chair. The little girl's grandma was holding her and came up to us to say she was sorry but I noticed my son wanted to get away from her. I wished I had said something to the grandma and her mother. The mother never bother to come up to us to make sure my son was okay. If I had known what that little girl did I would have warned my friend, Lisa and Francesca. Lisa and her daughter went to te bathroom to change diaper. Lisa was washing her hands while Francesca stood by her. This same little girl came in and ran and push Francesca against the wall. At first Lisa thought the little girl wanted to kiss her nose until Francesca screamed. It turned out that this little girl actually attack Francesca with biting her nose and then she took her hands and grab her face. Francesca ended up having a teeth mark on her nose and some scratch on her face. All this time I was waiting for her (I was asking myself what took this long?!) I wanted to go in there to check but I had my twins with me. Lisa came out looking so angry and put her daughter into the stroller and pulled me down to face Francesca. I said, what happened? The little girl attack my daughter! I explained to her that she did the same thing to Justin but I had no idea she was going to the bathroom to attack another toddler! It was the grandmother took the granddaughter in the bathroom. The grandmother apologized once again. What we were upset that the mother never actually came up to us on both of the attack. They left so quickly before we could approach to the mother. As we left the restaurant looking very upset at the incident. We tried to enjoy the rest of our shopping day. When Justin bend down his head, I yelled at Lisa further up in front of me. I told her come here and look at this... the little girl actually BITTEN my son's lower head area where she came running behind him. You can actually see the teeth mark and this explained why he was screaming. If I had saw that too, I would confront the mother about her daugther's situation.

If this little girl (who appeared to be 2 yr old or almost 2) had some sort of behavior problem. The mother is responsibile to keep her daughter close to her if none of this would have happened. I never got the chance to ask the grandmother how did the little girl get away running with a knife and fork?! I was speechless and shock that this was the first time I ever experienced.

What's more -- why the mother NEVER bother to come up to us? She had witness my son's attack? I think she knew and was probably afraid to approach us because by State of Illinois we can file a complaint on the attack.

How do you handle a situation if something like this should happen again at any where. It would make me nervous to pull another toddler's physical off on my own toddler. I meant you really don't want to touch someone else toddler and often time I would not want anyone touching my twins either.

Thanks for reading in,
Diana w/Rianna and Justin

 

Its obvious the kids this way because shes allowed to do this.
I'd have walked over to the mom and told her...my reaction would have depended on her. No doubt she would have brushed it off as she did by not even seeing what was going on. I'd have lost it.
Bite my kid and I get mad.

 

I know it's hard to think straight when events like this happen, but my a$$ would have been on that mother so fast had her child bitten one of mine. I am usually very nice, but nothing gets me steamed up like harm coming to my children. I have called people out for their children's behavior before, and after I've said something they've handled the situation.

I sm so sorry that this happened to your son and your friends daughter. That mother is going to have an even bigger problem on her hands if she doesn't ake care of her daughters behavior NOW.

 

Sorry to hear about you experience, hope the children are ok!

Do you know for sure the other female with them was the mother of the child? I am not exactly sure what I would have done but if the grandmother was the one doing the apologizing then I might have addressed it with her.

 

I'm so sorry!!! :hug99: I know how you feel!!!

I had a similar thing happen at the playground. A 3 yr. old pushed my 2 yr. old OFF the STRUCTURE (4 ft. in the air) after LOOKING at me and HIM!!

I FLIPPED. The mother got mad at me for yelling at her little boy but never bothered to find out it my son was ok or apologize or ANYTHING. I got out of there fast because I was SOOOOOOOOOOO PI$$$$$$$$$$$$ED! I cried all the way home and on the phone to anyone who would listen to my story!!

I am so sorry. I want to keep my head together next time and say something smart and appropriate in the situation next time, so I feel you!! :hug99:

 

They were sitting in a booth not far from us. The mother was sitting at the table acting like she didn't see it. I am positive the grandmother either she didn't tell the mother or told her what happened and took off so fast. Even Lisa wanted to say something too. We both calm down and then went looking for the mother but there was an entrance right off out of the building by the restaurant. My theory is that the mother must have known that she has a problem which is why the grandmother was looking out for the granddaughter when she running around.

The next time, I would talk to the mother who touch or bite my child straight in the face. Excuse me, I think your son/daughter was being rough on my twins, can you please make sure he/she does not go near them? You saw the incident? Right? If she says, No. I just walk away quietly but of course angry too.

If a child bite my twins, I would definietly go straight to the kid and go down and say, you should not bite other children. And let the mother knows and then just kind of either take my twins away or just keep an eye on the boy/girl.

~~~~~ A lesson of my next door neighbor ~~~~~

We have a single mother living who live next door to us and has a younger son that was about 5 yrs old. Unfortunately, I caught him throwing eggs against our siding of our side of the house. He froze and I said, please don't do that because this is NOT your house. He still had eggs in his hands. I said, Go throw it to your house -- do it now! And his mother never came out to find out what happened. I think it was obviously that he didn't tell her and went to sniff some place to hide. He never touch my yard again!

 

I have to agree with ehm, how do you know it was the girls' mother. If the grandmother was taking responsibility, couldn't it be that the other lady there was a friend or aunt? There are so many different kinds of families these days, you (general you) can't simply assume that a younger lady with a child is the mother. Obviously, the girl was a bit much for the grandmother, and she was apologizing for the behavior, therefore acknowledging that it was a problem. It could be that the girl is autistic, or has other behavior issues, and she is just too fast. Maybe the mom is in the hospital having another baby, and the girl is reacting to that. My point is that the grandmother did acknowleged the bad behavior, and unfortunately your child and your friends child were bitten, but without knowing why the child was acting that way, I would accept that the grandmother was trying her best and move on.

 

Actually it was the girl's mother because she called "Mama" and even sat with her in the booth. Yes, I can understand the grandmother apologized to us. We do feel that she had some sort of behavior problem (whether she has or not). We still believe the mother is responsible to come and make sure the kids were okay anyway. I would have done the same thing if my twins hurt another child in front of me.

So I can understand what you were trying to say -- but thanks!

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jan 13 2008, 09:08 PM) [snapback]570921[/snapback]
I have to agree with ehm, how do you know it was the girls' mother. If the grandmother was taking responsibility, couldn't it be that the other lady there was a friend or aunt? There are so many different kinds of families these days, you (general you) can't simply assume that a younger lady with a child is the mother. Obviously, the girl was a bit much for the grandmother, and she was apologizing for the behavior, therefore acknowledging that it was a problem. It could be that the girl is autistic, or has other behavior issues, and she is just too fast. Maybe the mom is in the hospital having another baby, and the girl is reacting to that. My point is that the grandmother did acknowleged the bad behavior, and unfortunately your child and your friends child were bitten, but without knowing why the child was acting that way, I would accept that the grandmother was trying her best and move on.


In my mind, if it was just the grandmother taking care of the child and she is unable to handle the kid (she is too fast, has autism...) she should be keeping her confined to a stroller or highchair or not taking her out in public at all. No matter what problems a child has, it is the responsibility of the caregiver to see that those problems do not harm anyone else. The first incident may have been a complete accident, but it should not have happened again. If the grandmother realized that she couldn't handle the child, she should have left the mall completely.

Obviously there isn't anything that can be done now. But, in the future, I think that pointing out how dangerous the situation is (running with cutlery and biting a stranger) and that, if you see anything happen again, you will speak to the management, is not unreasonable.

Also, if she broke skin at all when she bit your child or your friend's child, you may want to take them to the doctor. Human bites are actually more prone to infection than animal bites.