How do you decide what time is "bedtime"

My LOs have always been great at sleeping. One of DD's first words was "Night-night" and she would actually get excited about going to sleep. From about 7 months (when they started STTN) until a few months ago, they were ready for bed anywhere from 6pm to 7pm. I could tell because they'd start rubbing their eyes, get fussy, DD start sucking her thumb (she only does this in bed, usually). I couldn't ever keep them up past 7, sometimes not past 6:30 or so, even after the spring time change.

So, we have a nice established routine - in bed between 6:30 and 7pm, and then up around 7am, 2 or 3 hour nap at noon. Problem: lately (the last month or so), many nights one or both of them are not asleep before 8 or 8:30. We put them in bed around 7, and then they talk or play for awhile. Sometimes they fuss a bit, but if we go in there and put whatever loveys they threw out back in, or give them a sippy of water, they're fine.

Does this mean their bedtime should be later? Their sleepy cues are harder to read these days - DD will grab her lovey (in the middle of the day if she has the opportunity) and start sucking her thumb and walking around with it for hours, even if she's not remotely tired. Most of the time, they are acting kind of tired at 7 (I think!) - they'll lay on the floor, rub their eyes, etc - but those cues aren't as obvious as they used to be. DH and my mom think it's fine to put them in bed at 7 because they are not crying, but I feel kind of guilty, like they should be up with us in the evening instead of stuck in their cribs (but I'm not complaining about having that time after 7 to get a few things done!!) Thoughts? Suggestions?? Experiences??

 

Personally I think it's important to establish a set in stone bedtime that you stick with regardless if they seem ready or not. This way they start to learn healthy sleeping habbits...at least this is my thought process and I am far from an expert.

Our boys usually get up about 6:30am every morning despite what time they go to bed. We get breakfast in them between 7-7:30am and then they play until after lunch and take a 1.5-2 hour nap so they don't nap long. When they get up they get an 8oz bottle of milk (I know, but we haven't mastered sippies yet) and a snack. They play some more and by 5-5:30 they start getting cranky, rubbing their eyes. It's around that time that we feed them dinner and an 8oz bottle of Similac GO & Grow mixed with 8tsp of rice cereal and put them down to bed. They don't fall asleep right away and will play with eachother for a bit before going to sleep. Sometimes they wake up but if we give it a minute the fussing will stop and it's back to sleep. If it continues we will go in the nursery and rock them in our arms for a bit, put them back down and it's la la land for them both until 6:30am when they wake up.

It would probably be different if they took longer naps but they don't. So it's up for 4-5 hours between their 1 nap and then bedtime.

We pretty much let them tell us when they are ready but by 7pm if they are still up it's lights out regardless.

 

I agree that their sleepy signs are harder to read. I also agree with PP that it's really important to establish that same routine. My girls were doing this just a few weeks ago and then waking at about 5-6. Turns out they were having a height growth spurt and teething, so their patterns changed for a bit. Now, we're right back to normal. Down by 7 and up by 7. It's most likely a short phase...I'm sure it will pass.

 

i'm with your husband & mom - if it ain't broke, don't fix it! :good: if they were screaming & crying that whole time, i would be more concerned, but it seems like they maybe just need that time to wind down right now.

if it starts to affect their daytime mood/behaviour, i might start looking at tweaking things (but, if anything, i would go with an earlier bedtime before a later one). like PP though, i expect it's just a little hiccup & they'll be over it & back to their normal routine sooner rather than later.

 

You know, when my boys were finally on a schedule (about 5 months) DH and just looked at our work schedules and decided that their bedtime was going to be 7:30-8pm. That way they could have 11-12 uninterrupted hours of sleep, and we could still eat breakfast and dinner with them. When they were on 2 and 3 naps per day, we'd put them down closer to 8, but we moved it back a bit when they went to 1 nap. Usually Jack goes right to sleep, but Nate will sometimes babble and bounce in his crib for up to an hour before he falls asleep! If he's crying and really upset, we will go back in and do a mini-bedtime routine again, but most of the time he's just babbling quietly and doesn't seem to disturb Jack. ardon:

That being said, some days Nate falls asleep within 15 minutes of putting him down! To me that says that he needs different amounts of sleep on different days, but I can't ever predict when that's going to be, so I maintain his bedtime regardless. I put a board book and some stuffed animals in each crib when we put the boys down, so they have something to amuse themselves if they're not ready for sleep.

The upside to this is you will hear the *funniest* stuff on the baby monitor as they're winding down!! :lol: I swear I should start a blog and post some of the things I've heard them say.

 

I've made a set bedtime, most of the time the kids are usually asleep within a few minutes of going down. I have had some phases with DD where it will take her longer to fall asleep and I will hear her upstairs quietly babbling or singing. I leave her be, as long as she is not crying and in distress.
Our bedtime is between 7:30-8:00 and they are usually up between 7:30-8 in the morning.
I agree with your DH and Mom, if the kids seem fine and aren't fussing, I would keep bedtime the same time. Like Rachel said, if their daytime sleep and moods start to be affected then maybe then I would tinker with bedtime but for now, I'd leave it be.

 

I'm going to also agree that if their daytime sleep is fine, and they aren't screaming, they are probably just enjoying winding down and playing. Mine go to bed at 9pm and get up around 9-9:30am. Sometimes they fall instantly to sleep, and sometimes it takes 30 (or more!) mins for them to wind down. I still put them to bed at 9pm the next night regardless.

 

our kids are in bed by 7 every night. sometimes even a bit earlier depending on how much they napped in the afternoon. they do 2 hours a day but sometimes if it extends to 2.5 or even 3 hours (not often!!!). either way they are still up between 7 and 8 am.
im assuming when i go back to work and they have to be up at 6 that their bedtime will likely move up as well.

 

Our boys have recently shifted from a 7 p.m. bedtime to more of a 7:30 bedtime (give or take; if they skip their afternoon nap and get cranky, we'll put them down at 7). I think it's the age. You could try a 7:30 bedtime and see how they do with that.

 

Thanks for all the replies!! I like setting a time and sticking with it - that's what we've done before. I just wanted confirmation, I guess. I tried 8:00 on Friday (just kind of by accident - friends were over, and they were being really good). They went right to sleep, no playing, but woke up at the same time in the morning, and didn't get a very good nap. I tried 7:30 on Saturday, and they still didn't talk much, and took a little bit better nap on Sunday, but did need to go down earlier. I think the 8pm bedtime might have messed with them. DS has been kind of cranky lately anyway, so it was hard to tell if this was causing it to be any worse.

Anyway, thanks again! I'm thinking maybe we could shift from 6:30 - 7ish to 7 to 7:30ish, but probably not much later than that.