How do you deal..

This wasn't so bad when the kids were baby babies because I didn't take them out much to avoid getting sick since they were preemies. It seemed to have worked because we haven't had a lot of trouble with fevers and sick babies.

Now that they are 1 I tend to take them with me more often to doctors appointments and what not and I'm finding some very annoying trends...let me tell you what happened today.

So I was at the docs office with the twins and everyone was saying how cute they were and cooing about them but kept their distance so all was good with me. However this older woman got up from her seat which was clear across the room to sit next to me and start playing the this little piggy game with the twins and trying to tickle them and touch their faces and the top of their heads with the same hands she had been using to stick a toothpick in her mouth to clean out the gunk in her teeth. As I was leaving the office she then proceeds to stroke my forearm in a "hang in there" way. GRRRRRRRR, this happens EVERYTIME I go somewhere that I have to wait. I don't notice it as much with singleton babies but when the twins go somewhere it's a novelty to everyone and they just flock to them and want to touch them and get their germs all over them and annoy me with stupid questions. I sooooo wanted to say something to make her stop but I couldn't think of a polite way to do it.

I'm sure a lot of you have been in similar situations and I'm just wondering, how do you politely tell someone NOT to touch your children and put their dirty face right up next to your kids.

I mean, yes they are twins...get out your coos and your awws and the "oh they are so cute" saying from a distance out of your system and move on, don't come within germ catching range and rub up all over my kids.

Any way I can politely without hurting feelings tell people that I don't like being treated like a novelty, that yes they are twins but that doesn't mean you have the right to single them out in a room full of babies and start touching all over them???

 

a simple "please don't touch my children" would suffice. yes, people will probably be taken aback, but that's not your problem, it's theirs. ardon:

 

Yup, I think that is the best response.

 

I personally dont think that it is that big a deal. I take mine out all the time and they get lots of attention and sometimes people touch them, but they WILL have to catch some of these "GERMS". We(the parent) touch all kinds of things throughout the day and I know we cannot wash our hands at every turn of a door nob and then sometimes turn and touch our children. I think politely accepting the attention ends it sooner and there is no reason to be rude.

 

i don't think it is rude. i think it's rude that people touch other peoples' children without asking. ardon:

i agree that, at the end of the day, germs are germs & there isn't much you can do to stop them, but they're still your kids & if you don't want people to touch them, then it's your job to speak up & say so.

 

I didn't worry too much about this when the twins were under a year old, for whatever reason they hardly ever got sick and we did take them a lot of places starting around 2 months old. I wasn't thrilled when random people wanted to touch them, but it only happened a couple of times. But after Sullivan came down with RSV and pneumonia at 6 weeks old, I freak out now about this more than I probably should. In a situation like that my favorite line is "they are just getting over a very nasty cold and I don't think they're still contagious, but I'm not sure. I'd hate for you to catch it." I've only had to use this twice, but it worked. Hope that helps!

 

Again there are many ways to word this so as not to offend or hurt someones feelings. That being said it would also be curteous for the onlookers to ask before touching. These people certainly dont mean any harm and I see no reason to be abrasive.

 

I like that response!

I don't usually get people trying to touch my guys for some reason. ardon: Maybe I put out an unfriendly vibe, or maybe it's because I'm usually out with DH and people are less likely to approach a couple with kids than a lone woman with kids. :unsure:

 

Actually when I accepted the attention from this woman it got worse. That's when she started to touch all over their faces, play with their toes, etc. It bothered me because it would not stop until I was called back to see the doctor and when I came out of the exam room she was still there and that's when she grabbed MY arm.

I don't mind attention to the boys but I don't like it when random strangers think it's OK to get up out of their seat that they've been in for 20min and purposely find a seat RIGHT next to me to touch my children with dirty hands from her holding a toothpick that was in her mouth.

I'm always courteous with strangers and say thank you and answer questions that aren't utterly ridiculous when I am confronted by people. Most of the time I use the I won't look at you and hope you take that as a hint that we don't need/want the attention but sometimes that doesn't work so then I am polite and what not and internally yelling at this person to leave my kids alone but I sit their patiently waiting for them to stop and/or leave.

This is the first time I have actually had someone go out of their way to hunt me down to touch all over my kids and me for an extended period of time. I know it's harmless and it's just a reaction to how much people love babies and how unique twins are so I know there is a little extra attention for us Mom's of multiples. I just don't like when complete strangers touch random peoples kids without asking if it's OK. Sometimes I find it kind of creepy. Questions are OK, no problemo, I just don't like unsolicited touching.

Thanks for the tips on how to curb these types of situations. I tend to just get wrapped up in trying not to hurt their feelings and oblige them by answering questions and allowing them to put their faces and hands all over my kids. I tend to not want to get into a confrontation or be rude, you know?

 

i guess this goes to a whole bigger pet peeve i have, which is that i don't understand why saying what you mean, and meaning what you say is so often seen as rude. i agree that saying that your kids are sick is a way out of the situation, but it bugs me that people feel they would need to tell a white lie in this situation. why is it rude to say please stop touching my children? you aren't yelling at them, you aren't hitting their hands away from your children - you're just plainly stating what you would like them to do. when did that become wrong? :unsure:

 

I always say "please don't touch them please." There's been numerous times that a child (usually between 3-4 years old) constantly touch them and I've had to repeat myself numerous times to get them to stop, even with their parents or whoever right there! If they ask to touch them, I usually okay it.

I actually had a woman once approach me in the grocery store when they were about 6 months old and said her son had a question for me if I didn't mind. He proceeded to ask VERY nicely "may I touch your babies? I'll only touch their heads if that's okay." He was probably 4 or 5 years old, but he was extremely nice and was really gentle with them. He even told me thank you and that I had cute babies afterwards. It's too bad that's not how nice people are usually about this situation!

 

I agree that it's much ruder to touch someone's babies without asking than to say, "Please don't touch them." I also don't often have strangers trying to touch my children; I'm not sure why. But I wouldn't have a problem with saying, "Please don't touch them" if someone reached for their hands or faces.