How do you deal with other people’s children?

Not sure where to start or if I have even given this an appropriate topic name.

How do you deal with other people’s children? Rather vague I know.
Here is my situation:
My nephew is a little over 2 and when we are around him with the boys he is your typical 2 yr old – full of energy, which is great. But he is quite rough with my boys. He will poke at them, hit them, kick them, throw toys at them, grab their arms or legs and squeeze, etc. I am trying not to be overly protective of my boys and I know they won’t break quite as easily as I sometimes think they might, being a first time parent. But I also know that accidents happen and I really don’t want anything to happen to my boys or any other babies. His parents tend to be of the philosophy of more freedom, there is some oversight and some discipline but for the most part he is left to do what he wants or so it seems. As best I can tell they don’t have an issue with me correcting him when he is out of line, but I already have my hands full. It is getting to the point where I just want to avoid them all together, at least until the boys are a little bigger and able to fend for themselves a bit more.

What would you do or have you done in the past or am I making too big of an issue of this? Please help!

 

QUOTE
He will poke at them, hit them, kick them, throw toys at them, grab their arms or legs and squeeze, etc.


Absolutely not acceptable! They could get seriously hurt. I would talk to the parents if I were you.

 

I would say something out loud when he is around, loudly to make sure the parents hear like "please don't get too rowdy around the babies, accidents happen." Maybe the parents will hear you and get the point that they need to say something?

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Mar 9 2009, 10:48 AM) [snapback]1220170[/snapback]
I would say something out loud when he is around, loudly to make sure the parents hear like "please don't get too rowdy around the babies, accidents happen." Maybe the parents will hear you and get the point that they need to say something?



I'm in a similar boat...I have a two-and a half year old nephew who isn't quite as rowdy but doesn't always get that my babies are in fact babies. My sister is also really lenient and lax with the discipline. I also agree about vocalizing out loud to the parents and to your nephew to be "gentle" and "careful" around the babies...and if you're still uncomfortable, maybe wait until they are a bit older to play...you'll feel better and will worry less...

 

I second anne that isnt acceptable. I would definetly speak to his parents x

 

If possible I would sit down with your kids and any time the 2 year old 'interacts' with them, SHOW him the proper way. Talk to him, explain what is appropriate. Perhaps the parents will take the hint too! I often forget that kids don't just know how to behave with babies.. they have to be shown. THat is not to say that they won't forget at times, but... it should help. Good luck!

 

You've gotten some good advice. The parents might not even thinking about how rough their 2 year old is being around the babies...I agree with the other posters to gently discuss with the parents his behavior around the babies and also model for the 2 year old how to interact with the babies. It's not an easy situation and good luck!

 

I have a friend that put me in the same boat (her kids are nine and up). I don't feel comfertable talking to her. I feel like Im telling her how to parent her kids and I wont do that. Regretfully though, that means I do avoid her. I no longer ask her to come over and if I am going to her house I don't bring the kids, so I hardly ever go to her house any more. Once their older it might be different. Visiting with friends should be stress free. It is just no longer fun having to "dodge balls" for my kids to keep them safe (and mine were getting hurt and stuff was getting broke). I know that might not be helpful, but that was my take on my situation....

 

Thanks ladies – I was thinking I was being overprotective. I hate having to hover over the babies when other people are holding them – I think it makes them feel like I don’t trust them. We do talk to him and show him how to be gentle with babies and praise him when he is good with them. His parents are of the mindset that he just doesn’t get it yet. My SIL made a comment this last weekend “I am not going to stand over him and put him in timeout every 3 seconds” really caught me off guard. I guess we will just have to be more careful with our visits until the boys are older. I know he isn’t being mean, he is just a rough and tumble boy, I just feel like there should be more boundries, but that is just my opinion.

 

You are your boys mother and their best defense! If you feel someone is being to rough with them, they they are!
I agree w/ PP show the 2 year old correct behavior. If it gets to be too much simply tell the parents that you feel uncomfortable and ask if they could distract their toddler while you get your babies in a safer spot.
I dont think you should say things loudly enough to the 2 year old "hoping" the parents hear you- to me thats being passive aggessive and nothing about that is adult.

GL!

 

I would say something out loud to him or say to my sis he needs to be alittle more gentle. This is not acceptable.

I was in a similar sitiation. My sil thought it would be perfectly ok for her 5 and 7yr old to pick up carry, feed and change diapers (like they were a baby alive doll or something). We had to finally stop visiting until the twins were older. This is sad but our babies had to come first. Sometimes dh and I would visit once in a while while older ds and nana took care of twins.

!!! GOOD LUCK . !!!