How do you deal with differences of opinion?

I kind of miss the days when my girls used to agree on everything. It certainly was easier! The older they get of course the more they want to assert their own opinion. Some things don't matter, like what they wear, others I obviously can't do 2 things at once. For example yesterday we went to the playground. Afterward we needed to get some things at the store and one was being fussy. I asked "Should we go get our crackers at the store?" One said yes, the other said no. Ultimately I didn't go because I knew the one was really tired, but the other was disappointed. Then a little later I asked if they wanted to go look at crafting supplies. Again, one says yes, the other no. Then I'm put in a position of "choosing" and of course one is going to be mad because they didn't get their way. This applies to most stuff, including what to eat (even when I don't ask them, one says "I want stir fry" the other says "I want meatballs"). So I'm at somewhat of a loss. What do you do when your kids want two different things??? How do you accomodate this? Even when it is fun stuff it seems to be a struggle, like what movie to watch, what game to play, etc.

 

I make them talk about it and try to agree after they understood taking turns. They know if they can't agree mommy chooses. As for going places, they don't get a choice. It's when and where I need/want to go

 

Ditto. If they can't agree on something, I choose.

 

I tended to make them work some things out. Some things, I let them each pick what they want (eg-fruit with lunch or something totally inconsequential). If it's something like games, we'll probably just go ahead and play both. It just really depended. I just never asked them to decide anything that I already had an opinion about. And if they argued too long about a movie or something, we would just cancel movie time.

Now that the kids are older, we have "S" days and "T" days. For some reason, the argument in our house because who sat behind the driver in the car, and who sits next to mom in church. So, we alternate. One day Sarah, the next Timothy, and repeat. If something needs decided, I'm likely to just go with whose day it is and call it fair.

Marissa

 

For now the girls work it out themselves. I haven't had to step in yet but they are only 2. With my older kids they know they have '5 seconds' to work it out or I decide. For the most part my older kids try to keep it fair.

 

Alternate special days. It works and they know that tomorrow is their own special day.

 

Mine have always fought a lot. They're just so different. How I handle it just varies. If one of them is asking in a rude, demanding way and the other is asking nicely, that makes it easier to decide. Other times I have them take turns choosing.

 

Ours are only 2.9 yo. But just in case you would like to know What has been working recently with them (when they get to watch some DVD) is that I told them to re-ask eachother to choose which one that both would like to watch together; if there are still 2 different choices , then they don't get anything. If one girl keeps giving in to her sister too many times (which I havenot seen many times yet), then I coax or explained that last time it was the other choice etc...

About food choices, I try to stick to if they don't like what is available, then they get none. This is still hard for me to be consistence.