How do you correct at 12 months?

Ok so here is the deal. My almost 12 month old daughter is very smart. Too smart for her own good, and she is really starting to try and get into so power struggles with me. In our play room there are literally only 2 items she is not allowed to touch. The CD player, and the pulling up on the bookshelf. So today all she did all day was attempt to mess with these items. She knows what "no no" means and will obey on the first command about 75% of the time. If she persists I get up and move her. Well today, she didn't obey AT ALL...in fact she seemed to think it was a game, and laughed hytercially several times when I moved her away. I also got a couple of tantrums when I moved her. So what is up with this?? I know she is testing her limits, but what do you do when they laugh? I don't want her to think it is a game, but what else can you do?? As for the tantrums, I can deal with that better. When she figures out that doesn't work, she will cut it out. What do you guys do with the early stages of naughtiness

 

Correct then distract and if need be remove. I would tell her no, if she did it again I would try to do something to distract her and if she did it yet again we would go to a different room

 

I know this is unpopular with some people, but I think time out is ok for this age, if nothing else then to remove them from the situation and let them cool down from their tantrum. I would put mine in the high chair or a pack n play (also, i know, unpopular, but there's nowhere else to put it), and let her cool off. I have one like yours, always testing the limits...

 

You will have to say "no touch" (or whatever your phrase is) about 15,325,287 times, and then she will be 15-16 months old, and it will start to sink in. This is what we did with Sarah and touching the oven. At 12-13 months I thought it would drive me insane and I would have to keep her out of the kitchen forever -- now she never does it.

She is not really trying to p*ss you off, but it does sound like she thinks it's a game -- she's getting the same reaction every time she touches it (you say "no no" and then move her away), and that in itself is fun. I never did find a way around this problem, but after a couple of months, they just started being able to remember the rules a lot better.

For the CD player specifically, what worked for us was to block off the entertainment center with a low bookshelf full of toys. The shelf is on wheels, so DH and I can move it out of the way when we need to, but the girls can't reach the CD player, TV, etc., and as a result, they seem to have forgotten it is there. If there's any way you can possibly remove the temptation for her to touch the CD player (by making it less accessible or making something else more appealing), that will probably help more than a thousand attempts at discipline or teaching.

 

We're having the same issue with lamps in their play room. I have to have them or we wouldn't have light, KWIM? I say "no touch" a lot during the day. It seems that some days they are SO interested in them and then other days I don't say it once. I haven't figured out what makes them so intriguing either. Our pedi said that redirecting is still the best bet. We say "no touch" 3 times and if they are still doing it, we redirect. Now sometimes they will giggle and crawl right back over to the lamp - looking at me and grinning. GRRRR. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh, isn't it?

 

Pretty much ditto what Minette posted. All you can do is say no a thousand times and remove/redirect from the situation. Ainsley especially would laugh when being told no or pulled away from something. You might just have to put the CD player up on a high shelf for now.

 

We have the same situation here too. For this, i tell them no, and landon laughs. I tell him no, move him away. If he laughs and tries it again, i move him and sit with him counting for a time out. We count to 30 and he now nos that when mommy or dady says 30, he can get up. He'll normally turn around and give us a kiss and hug as to say hes sorry i guess. Anywys, they same for time outs, to do one minute for each year. So if they're a year old then do it for a minute...we started small.....good luck

 

Try reading the "Happiest toddler on the block" it really helped me with our girls at that age. We also started using time out around that time, as that's when they started with dangorous behavior, going up to the TV and hitting it.

Hope this helps, good luck

PS. They also have it in DVD format, if you don't have time to read

 

At 1 year, children have no concept of cause/effect. Therefore, no "discipline" will have a long term effect. That concept doesn't really work until they are 2--2 1/2, the reason you will see that time outs get effective at that time. At 1, children are exploring and discovering--the only thing that will stop them from doing something, in the short term is distraction and redirection. I think a tantrum is different from laughing and repeating an activity. She doesn't really understand good/bad, so she is trying to get a reaction from you, which she thinks is fun.

Consistancy and redirection are what works.

 

We're in the same situation, and its so frustrating. We have a glass coffee table and the girls like to bang on it with toys. Its the only thing they can't do in the living room, and it seems like its the only thing they want to do. Every time I hear it I walk over and tell them "no, we don't hit the table" and take the toy away and put it up. Then they go find another toy and walk over to the table, look at you, smile, and do it again. I swear we go through this 100 times a day. I have some VERY stubborn girls, why do they have to be so much like their father. If it gets bad and I'm getting really frustrated I'll pick them up and sit in the recliner and have a "time in" with mommy. We all can take a breather and get composed. We plan on introducing time out when they are a little older (15-18 month).

 

I just keep taking him/her away for a timeout in a secure place ie. jumperoo or high chair then I take them out for another chance. If it happens again either later or right away they go right back into time out. Since babes are one track minded sometimes it takes a few times for them to get it. When mommy says no it means no.

 

Thanks for the tips ladies. I am just curious about something...do you guys feel like this is true
"At 1 year, children have no concept of cause/effect"...I see things like this a lot with regard to discipline at this age, and I just don't know whether I buy it. I mean they know if they cry I will come to them, my daughter knows if she says cup, I will give her drink, they know if they do the sign for more, they get more food...the list goes on. Based on those things I would thing they do understand cause and effect...I do X, and X occurs, whether good or bad KWIM?? What do you ladies think? Is it true they don't get cause and effect with regard to discipline at one year??

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jun 23 2007, 12:37 AM) [snapback]303719[/snapback]
Consistency and redirection are what works.



Exactly what I would say!!!

 

QUOTE(Mattsgal @ Jun 23 2007, 01:56 PM) [snapback]304372[/snapback]
Thanks for the tips ladies. I am just curious about something...do you guys feel like this is true
"At 1 year, children have no concept of cause/effect"...I see things like this a lot with regard to discipline at this age, and I just don't know whether I buy it. I mean they know if they cry I will come to them, my daughter knows if she says cup, I will give her drink, they know if they do the sign for more, they get more food...the list goes on. Based on those things I would thing they do understand cause and effect...I do X, and X occurs, whether good or bad KWIM?? What do you ladies think? Is it true they don't get cause and effect with regard to discipline at one year??


I personally don't buy it. My girls will take a toy, look at you, smile, and hit the table with it and when you get up to take disciplinary action they immediately hand you the toy and try to run off. They know that is a "no, no" and if they do it they're in trouble. To me that shows they know cause and effect. But I do believe that every child is different, and that needs to be taken into account.

 

I absolutely believe children/toddlers have a concept of cause and effect at LONG before age 1, and I have never seen a smidge of research to prove otherwise. Blame it on PMS, but I get a little frustrated at those assertions... I recently read "Baby Minds" and "The Scientist in the Crib" and I would highly recommend these reads for anyone, they greatly improved my understanding of just how bright our little ones are and how much they understand about the world. Our children are learning at an astonishing rate, and it is their "testing" of boundries that proves their understanding of cause and effect each day, but we must guide them in some way toward appropriate behavior, even if, at first, they don't understand the reasoning behind whatever punishment/reinforcement system we apply.

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Jun 22 2007, 07:37 PM) [snapback]303719[/snapback]
At 1 year, children have no concept of cause/effect. Therefore, no "discipline" will have a long term effect. That concept doesn't really work until they are 2--2 1/2, the reason you will see that time outs get effective at that time. At 1, children are exploring and discovering--the only thing that will stop them from doing something, in the short term is distraction and redirection. I think a tantrum is different from laughing and repeating an activity. She doesn't really understand good/bad, so she is trying to get a reaction from you, which she thinks is fun.

Consistancy and redirection are what works.


:good: Sharon, I always loved your view on parenting.