How do you become comfortable letting others care for your kids?

We are trying to put the girls in daycare 2 days per week. (I have 2 chronic health conditions and I'm basically burnt out after 18 months of fulltime mommy job).

Daycare here is $$$$. And typically the best ratio is 1 adult to 6 kids. It's a small home daycare. It's the "smallest" and "best" place I've found. But is it good enough? Is it worth it?

I know the socialization is good. But.... there are issues..... napping, diaper rash, eating & drinking?

Am I just being a neurotic mom and need to give up control? No one is going to take as good of care of them as me. But we have no family in the area. I'm sick and overwhelmed. Yet I still feel guilty. I feel stressed when they are there (are they eating, sleeping, happy, getting enough attention, etc?).

We've gone back and forth about hiring a nanny (but there are so many down sides..... mostly that I need the quiet home to rest and take care of myself). That's the big plus w/ daycare.... they are out of the home..... but the ratio..... they aren't getting as much devoted attention as a nanny. Is that good or bad?

For example, would Sam have this diaper rash today? Would she have napped better (and cried less)? Are they going to get sick? Why are their cheeks so red (overheated, too much sun, something wrong)? Are we doing the right thing??? Maybe I just need to care for them myself..... no matter how sick I am.... It's that crazy mommy disease.... put everyones needs above your own.

How do you become comfortable letting other people care for your kids? (without loosing your mind and allowing the stress to actually make matters worse!)

 

I don't know the answer to this question!! But I wanted to let you know that I am right in your boat. My girls (14 months) went to their 2nd day of day care today and I was on pins and needles!! I think at some point we just have to let it go. And accept that someone else will be helping care for them. This doesn't mean that I have accepted this notion yet. But I do realize that I need to. The first day I was crying hysterically when I left them. But today, I didn't cry! I am hoping it gets better and better as time goes by? Good luck to you!!!

 

Safari,

First of all, deep breaths. If I remember correctly, you did your research, and found a place that you knew your kids would be safe in. No, no one will ever take care of them the way you would because they are not their kids. However, it is only 2 days a week and you are suppose to use this time to get yourself well and take care of the medical condition you have so you can go back to taking care of your kids full time as the healthy mommy you need to be for them. I think what you are feeling is probably very normal anxiety about letting go of control over every aspect of their lives but I don't talk from experience so hopefully you will get more feedback on that one. Please stay focused on the fact that the most important thing about their daycare experience is that they are SAFE. You can pop in unexpectedly at anytime you said, so do that now and then if for anything to ease your mind and see how much fun they are having. They will be fine but isn't this suppose to be a temporary situation?? Take care of yourself so you can get to them as soon as possible!

 

It's really important to take care of yourself. It won't help your kids if you push yourself too hard and your health deteriorates. A healthy mommy is a big igft to them. As long as you are sure that there basic needs, safety etc. are being met (even if evyerything is not exactly as you would do it) it sounds like you should give the part time care a try.

Really is great if your kids can learn to adjust to different people, environment etc too.

Hope it gets easier on you all soon.

 

IM NOT! COMFORTABLE AT ALL..

THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES FOR MY KIDS IS MY MOM.. THE SAME PERSON WHO DID A GOOD JOB WITH ME..

I HAVE THREE.. SO THE BEST RATIO IS 3 TO 1

I HOPE YOUR HEALTH IS BETTER.. AND I HOPE YOU FIND A SOLUTION..

M

PS FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND YOUR NOT IN ANY SITUATION TO ( put everyones needs above your own.)

SO YOU HAVE TO GO WITH PLAN B! FIND THE BEST.. AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH IT..

I HAD TO LET MINE GO RIGHT AFTER THEY WERE A YEAR.. TO THE X WHO WASNT CARING FOR THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE..
BUT A COURT ORDER SAID WHEN HE PICKS THEM UP.. LET THEM GO..

I WAS SO THANKFUL THAT HIS MOTHER WAS THERE TO CHANGE THEIR DIAPERS.. AND BY LAW I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE..

JUST KEEP TABS ON YOUR CHOICE.. SHOW UP OUT OF THE BLUE..

 

Im lookinf for one now and I think I found one. Im putting them in when they hit 3. I am a nervous wreck...since I have a baby coming and my Arthrits will surly flare up a few months after birth...I am also in that same boat. I need some time to take care of myslef, rest when the baby rests, etc. In order to keep myself healthy I need that time.

I am reluctnant to give "control" to someone else too. I am all the time KNOWING its what they need, but man, letting someone else take care of them is the most undenyably diffocult thing I have ever had to think of...since I know no one can do it better than me.

Its something you just have to do...take that leap...just like HAVING twins (If you can remember the anticipation in pregnancy) you keep thinking about how you are going to cope, etc. Its hard!!!! I just wanted to let you know I hear you,...loud and clear. All we have to do is wait and see...

 

You will be a better parent if you take the time to take care of yourself. I work full time and have a nanny so I had to learn early on to give up the control. Does she do everything the way I would? No, but she is great with the girls and they love each other. She has taught them things that has made my life easier as well. My girls are so good with their manners and learned how to do stairs, recognize colors, and tons of other things due to the nanny. She's also taught them a good bit of Spanish. Now, my girls are starting nursery school two mornings a week and I am confident they will thrive there as well. The nanny was as emotional as we were about them growing up. Give it a shot...and once you get used to it, you will realize it's for the best all around and everyone will be better for it.

 

Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement.... i needed to hear all of that!!!

I was calmer today (they went today instead of mon bcuz of holiday). Mostly because I had SO much to do today, I was so busy, I didn't have as much time to stress and worry.

2 days in a row with almost no napping. (they are testing her and not napping. i think they are too excited to sleep. they are eating and playing well). Tomorrow should be interesting...... If they don't nap tomorrow, I'll probably freak out again.

SAFE.... gotta remember as long as they are SAFE. I'll be chanting SAFE and attempting to meditate.