how do I go about this

I have 4 midwivies and an OB where I am at, and they are the ones who will deliver the twins. I love the OB doctor. Three midwives I like also, especially one of them. However, there is one I really don't like. I have seen her the past two visits. She made me cry for the entire visit and day at my first appt. with her. I was scheduled to see another midwife at my last appt., but realized about two minutes before being seen that I was seeing the one I don't like (said it must of been a schedule change...I explained they needed to let me know then). I have never like this midwife even before I was pg. She just makes me feel really uncomfortable. I feel like she doesn't listen to me...for example, this past appt. I said it hurt to pee...well, she must not of heard me or something b/c she decided not send my urine out this time. Luckily the pain went away on its own. I just get bad vibes off of her. She is not overly friendly either. She makes me feel like an idiot too....the other three really don't.

So I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to be seen by her anymore, and I absolutely do not want her there for delivery (the OB will be no matter what). How do I go about dealing with this at the office, and who do I talk to there? I am guessing an office mananger, but not sure if they have one. I want to tackle this at my next appt. too.

I hate being a pain, but I had a doctor I really didn't care for (no personality at all) that delivered DD. I just would like someone that is a little more pleasent there.

Apriil

 

I would ask the nurse or the person that weighs you. Even the secretary should be able to tell you who to talk to about the problem. The only way to really controll who's on call when you deliver is a scheduled induction or section. Otherwise I'm sure if the other midwives were off that they wouldn't come in on their day off. (I wouldn't anyways.... sorry if that sounded mean.) I have a similar problem with one of the Drs with my group and he really upset me and belittled me at my last appointment so I know how you feel. The thought of him delivering my babies or even being on call when I had a problem turns my stomach. I hope that the office staff can point you in the right direction as to who to talk to. I also hope this works out for you. Being pregnant is supposed to be a happy time for us, not a time we worry about who's going to be delivering our babies. :angry: Why can't they just all be nice to us, realize we are people with real feelings and concerns???? :angry:

 

I honestly don't know if I would say something at all... clearly if you were having an induction you would have some choice. But short of telling her that you want her to leave the room if she happens to be the one who falls on your delivery day what are you going to do about it?... I had one doctor that I really didn't like while I was pg with my twins. My one consolation was that I had 3 doctors that I did like...the odds of me getting one that I liked were much higher than the odds of getting this other doctor. Things turned out that I needed a c/s anyway and I got to schedule it with my favorite doctor...but I'm glad I didn't say anything about this other doctor...it would have made the rest of my appts more tense... and should you wind up "having" to have her for your delivery it will make things even worse. I personally think that if you say something to a nurse or office manager it will get back to the midwife. I think the only safe person to consult with confidentiality would be another midwife...simply ask her what your options are in getting a preferred midwife.... You never know...one of the docs who was my least favorite when I was pg with my older dd became one of my favorites when I was pg with the twins... I don't know if he changed or if I just got used to his quirks... So this midwife might turn out to be better in the delivery room than she is in the office....don't lose heart...and if worse comes to worse perhaps you can set up a signal with your dh where you can let him know if you want her out of the delivery room..and he can quietly get it arranged with the doctor to simply ask her to leave.

 

That's a tough situation -- I'm not sure what you can do.

When I went into labor with my DD, it turned out that my favorite OB in the practice -- and the one I'd been seeing the most -- couldn't deliver, because he'd had a death in his family that day. I was so upset.

I ended up with another OB that I actively did not like -- he had terrible bedside manner. But, it ended up that I needed a forceps delivery, and this OB performed it really well -- it went perfectly. We heard later that he is one of the most skilled doctors around with using forceps....(I hear that they don't even teach them in med school anymore).

Anyway, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise for us....

 

i just went through this with my Dr's office! i had a dr a long time ago that had delivered my oldest son (now 8years old) and i didn't like him because he never listened to me and never told me anything about what they had to do for me or to me. plus a few things that shouldn't have been done when i delivered. so when i found out that i was going to have to see him for this pregnancy i protested! i called not only my OB and Midwife clinic i called this dr's office too. both practices are connected and both have 4 to 5 partners to deal with. their policy is that i have to see at least all of them once each during my pregnancy until i find one i like. well i just happened to get stuck with the same one i don't like. so when i found out that i had to see this particular dr. for my U/S i made it very clear that i wanted someone else. don't be afraid to be bold! i would call the dr. office the day before each appt and make sure that you are not seeing her.

for a quick solve to your problem....find out who the main partner or head person is and request a meeting or appt with them and let them know about your request. if they ask why you would rather not see her then be honest. usually this person will have a good head on their shoulders and will have you removed from her list of patients period. i talked directly with my OB, who in return made sure to talk to the dr. that i wanted and explained the situation. i got who i asked for this time!! and i hope to get the same person even when i deliver.

and yes my last appt with the dr. i don't like was very quiet because he had been told by one of the nurses why i asked for the change. he will get over it. i am looking out for my children, i am not looking for a dr. that will mistreat me or my pregnancy because of his own personal issues!

i hope this helps. good luck!
lots of love!
Meshell

 

When I had to change to a high risk dr, I knew there was 1 doc in that practice I was not comfortable with & I addressed it with my primary dr at my first appointment. He made sure my wishes were respected & there was no backlash. I did end up having my babies over a holiday weekend, so my dr asked me if it would be OK if the other dr discharged me. I was fine by that point. Both men handled the situation with dignity.

What it boils down to is this.... it's your body, your babies & your decision. If you are uncomfortable with this person stand up for yourself. You don't have to be rude, but just state to the appropriate person (my suggestion would be the OB) your concerns & that you would prefer not to be put in that postion again.

In my past life, I handled malpractice insurance for drs & hospitals. Bedside manner is a huge aspect to malpractice claims. There may be other patients in the practice with similar problems as well. You could be helping other people as well. Also, the OB has a vested interest in knowing what type of bedside manner each of the midwives have, because in most states he is somewhat responsible for their actions.