How did your 3-4 year old react to the babies?

I really want to get an idea of how my almost 4 year old will react to us bringing the babies home. She has been an only child and is VERY spoiled by everyone around.. She is very mothering though. She takes very good care of her dolls, talks and sings to them and askes if they are okay.

I am really worried that she may hurt the babies..

What were your experiences?

 

i want to know this too. i have a 4 yo dd who is also very nurturing and mothering, but spoiled.

 

You ladies have much to look forward to. I never imagined I'd have three kids but now I can't imagine NOT having three! A lot of work but really a blast!

I have a somewhat spoiled 4 yr old (only grandchild on both sides--center of the universe) and shared your concerns. But once the babies were born, he could not stop kissing them, gently patting them, and just instinctively knowing how to be an older brother to them.

I still can't believe this, but only once so far, since they were born, has he said "I hate my brothers--they cry too much" (and one had colic for 5 mos!) Always says how much he loves them, how sweet they are, etc.

Only issue we have is not enough undivided attention for him. My fault and I am working on it. But I am shocked at how well he's adjusted to, and is happy with, the addition of the twins.

Good luck...being a twin mom is one of the greatest blessings ever!! :hug99:

 

Josh was 2.5 when the babies were born, but I have 2 older kids also, so he is used to having other siblings. He did so great though!! The first 2 weeks or so was a real adjustment for him(as it was for all of us!), but after that he did so well, and is so good with the babies. He is very helpful! Good luck! I am sure they will do great!

 

Ihave had a wonderful experience as well. I have 4 children - 5 , 3, and 7wk old twins. I was probably most concerned when I had my second child since my first child was the center of everyone universe as well. Since she had just turned 2 when my second child came home, she basically ignored the baby - I never had any problems. - She was an extremely easy baby.

Now that the girlslare older I was curious how they would react - they were WONDERFUL!!!! They love feeding, holding, and getting stuff for the baby. When the babies "smile"(the slightest movement on the face is called a "smile") we tell them it is because they love their sisters. Bottle feeding helped ALOT since they really could be a part of taking care of the babies. They have been nothing but wonderful.

One of the best things I did around 5wk old withthe twins is get a mommy helper. I was having a lot of guilt of not giving the older girls the time I use d to give them so I got a mommy helper. She does arts and crafts, plays in the yard, etc. I wish I would have had her from day one.

Other than that, I have been EXTREMELY impressed by my girls!!!!Good Luck!!!!!

 

my daughter was just turning 3 when the babies were born and although she was excited to have a brother and a sister she obviously didn't know what that meant. she didn't so much care about the babies as much as what I was doing w/ them, like nursing, pumping, etc and why she couldn't do it too. we are big on taking turns, and so when she couldn't have a turn using the breast pump it was really hard to explain that one.
she loved to kiss their heads and always asked to hold them, but hated when they would cry, so we trained her to run and get pacis for us. she still has her moments of jealousy, but I think has figured out she still will get my attention when the babies are sleeping etc and can do big girl things the babies can't do. My mom also bought her a book about being a big sister that I think helped too.

Alyson

 

We've had a pretty positive experience too. There was one little rough patch about a month ago where I think DD#1 realized that they weren't going back but overall she's very gentle, caring, attentive, you name it. I think it's a great age difference, they are actually old enough to understand what's going on and can enjoy helping with the little things.

 

My oldest was 5.5 years old when we brought the twins home and she was great. She wanted to hold them and help whenever she could. There definitely is an adjustment period when a new baby(ies) come home. After all you are bringing two home and not just one, a lot of your attention will be on the babies and for some things it takes two people. I was glad my DD was a bit older, she understood a little more that they needed extra attention, I'm not saying she liked it though.

Even now, it's still an adjustment. We can't just go anywhere and have to think about naps as well.

I think she will do great. Just be sure to spend some one on one time with her too. We made it a point, and still do, to take her out by herself once in awhile.

 

As PP have mentioned, it is an adjustment. My DD is almost 4yo and went from being the only one to just one of three! She was so excited to be a big sister and we make a really big deal out of it with her. From the beginning I've been pointing out when it's "Mommy and Lucy time" so it's easier for her to understand when it's "Mommy and Mitchell time" or "Mommy and Nina time." We always introduce her as the "Big Sister" when new people meet the babies and give her the job of telling visitors which baby is which. When there is some time when the babies are napping I occasionally act really excited that the babies are sleeping and now we can play a game, do a project, etc. As well, I try to find jobs that Lucy can do that are baby related so she can feel part of it. Fetching dirty bottles to put in the sink, getting the pacifier, bouncing a cranky baby, etc. It's working well so far but there's still some jealously on occasion. It really helped that she had preschool in June and camp 2 days a week in July too. She felt "special" because she got to go somewhere and was able to have some better interactive time with kids her own age.

Good luck!

 

Jayda was 2 the day before the girls were born!! For a long time it had mostly been her and I (my DH works overseas and we lived in calgary untill last year away from my family) I thought I would have a rough time with her but she has been GREAT!! she loves her little sisters. sometimes tho she loves them so much she tries to pick them up and stuff but I just keep a close eye on her. She is really more of a help then anything. She helps me clean, makes bottles with me everyday! I think your daughter will be just fine. expically if shes taking good care of her dolls and stuff!!! good luck!!!

 

My 4 year old really really loved his baby brothers and loves them even more now that they are playing with him. We made sure we included him in everything and gave him little jobs to do, like "can you get Mommy the wipes and can you get Mommy the bottle on the container?". He loved feeling useful and he really was my bf throughout it all and biggest helper! Good luck!

 

To be honest, it's been rough..Kalynn was 4 when the boys were born and although she did love them, she had a really difficult time adjusting. She started to throw fits when she didn't get something RIGHT then because we had to take care of the babies. We had a lot of tantrums and fits. She also would throw things at them. They are 10 months and while things have gotten better, she still is too rough with them. She does help but only on her terms.

But like I said before, things are slowly getting better. We always make sure that she is included with daily stuff with the boys where sometimes she helps, and sometimes she doesn't. And we always make sure that we spend some alone time with her. Every weekend we have a "Mommy and Kalynn" time, where we will go off somewhere by ourselves..

Anyway, that's our experience.

 

We've had some really good times, and some rough times. The one thing that helped us out was to give her specific things to do that are hers, and she took those on and yelled at anyone who did them in her place. "That's Maggie's job!!! She loves playing with them now that they can move around and are responding more. When she is tired, or hasn't had much one on one time, then things get rough. The trick for us is trying to get some special time for her with me or DH so she feels appreciated and like she is part of the family. We also got her a doll to tkae care of, that was suggested by some people, but she doesn't really play with it much. It might work for you, though.
Most days, they are "her babies". She loves them that much, and helps to take care of them.

Good luck! It is definitely an adventure!