How did you implement time outs?

At what age did you implement a time out where you tell them to go stand somewhere and they get it - they do it and they know why they're doing it? I'd rather not use a crib or pack'n play. I'd like to just have them learn to be able to stand in a designated time out area. They understand a lot, and I think they'd eventually get it. I'm just not sure how to start it, and am afraid I'm going to get frustrated in the process (when they don't listen about going to or staying in time out) and make it worse.

Did you start by just putting them back over and over and over - even if they're upset and crying? did you hold them there and sit with them? (and if you do, is it easy to eventually transition them to just doing it alone?)

And what are your time out offenses? So far we don't have much hitting, biting. They listen pretty well. But when they don't, I want them to understand there are consequences. But they are under 2. Where do you draw the line with this, and are still able to keep some consistency? And the other big problem is fighting over toys. Do yours get time outs for this, and is it effective?

My biggest problem are my son's tantrums. He's a sweet boy. And it's not all the time. But when he's stuck on something you can't distract him with something else, no matter how hard you try. Especially not when he's screaming and crying. Is this an appropriate time out offense, to teach inappropriate behavior? Or is ignoring it really the best approach? I know they say tantrums are fed by reactions from you and they want your attention and to see how you react. But I swear it's not like that with him. Ignoring, reacting, re-directing and distracting really doesn't change anything. I think he's just mad and that's how he behaves when he doesn't get what he wants, regardless of what I do. But I want him to learn that is not acceptable behavior. Especially when we are out in public.

 

I've wondered similar things... can't wait to hear some responses from people who have implemented time outs. thanks for the question!

 

A few weeks ago I started reading and using 1-2-3 Magic and it works!! My boys are 23 months and they will sit in a corner and not move until I tell them to come out. I've used it at home and also at my mil's and other peoples houses. When I first started, I had to keep putting them back in the corner. Within a week, when I put them in a corner they would stay put.

The basic concept of the book is that you give them 2 warnings and then it's time out. For example, when Jake is touching our christams tree I will say "Jake, tha't 1, no touching the tree". I wait 5 seconds and if he's still doing it I'll say" Jake that's 2, no touching the tree". If in 5 seconds he's still doing it, he goes to time out for 2 minutes.

The main thing they stress is that YOU have to remain calm. They will pick up if you are angry and play off of it.


He's actually been really good at making it to 2 but not 3. He'll fuss and whine after 2 but usually stops what he's doing. If I have to put him in time out, he screams and yells for the entire 2 minutes but once I tell him he's done, those tears will stop like a light switch. :laughing:

The book say to use it for everything you don't want them to do. When it's time to go to the car, Jake will run to the backyard and I'll tell him "Jake, that's 1, get in the car". When we are out and they are fussing in the stroller I'll use it. Don't know what I would do if I needed to get to 3 in public, I have not had that problem yet.

I'm suprised that Josh is even better at listening when I tell him "that's 1".

When they were around 18 months I had a superyard I would put them in for time outs. I don't know if they really got it at that age but now that they are older they definatly understand.

Jake has some pretty good tantrums and I will leave the room. Usually within a minutes he realizes he does not have an audience and will stop. If I'm in the room, I will ignore him and try to stay out of his sight. I've actually seen him look up to see if I'm watching and then continue the tantrum!

I would definatly pick up this book and start using it right away.

 

I wonder too. We're not doing time outs for now because there is just no way I'll manage to make them stay in time out if they both got in trouble at the same time (which is, well, always). Plus they don't understand that much yet so they're not ready for the 1,2,3 concept. Must be much easier with singletons. So far we mostly take things away/remove them from the area, and it works, but as long as we're around...

I wouldn't put them in time outs for tantrums though... it's a 'healthy' way for them to express their emotions, and I wouldn't want to punish them for that (and believe me, DD has really bad ones).

 

I have not started with putting them in a corner for TO's yet. I will do that after Christmas (right now the house is full of Christmas stuff and we have no space) but TO offenses here are hitting, throwing objects at another person, biting, not listening. I will remove them from the room, not talk to them and sit them in my lap for 1-2 minutes. I would say that each month after 18 months the need for TO's has lessened, right now we rarely have to do them.
I do want to check out 1-2-3 Magic, I have read a lot of great things about that book on here.

 

That would totally defeat the purpose in my house... they like being in my lap.

 

This is my first post, I've read for a bit but this is something that I think we actually have a handle on!

My boys are 20 months. We have been doing time outs for some time but at one point they seemed pointless (after working for a while) so we backed off but for the last couple of months they will sit in time out for 1 minute for things that I warned them not to do or immediately for hurting each other. To start I used a gate that blocked off a small area by our door to the garage (size of PNP probably). Then I put a small bathroom rug in the gated area, then removed the gate and they knew to stay there on the rug and now I have 3 rugs (all the same) so we have 2 downstairs and 1 upstairs. Sometimes they stay the whole minute and sometimes I am putting them back a couple of times, they don't get up and walk away, they slide and scoot so they know they should be there still! I don't say anything as that gives too much attention it seems (and since they know what to do) and just place them back. I decided that my "line" not to cross was they must be mostly on the rug, I let them lay their head down and cry or whatever as long as they are mostly on the rug.

I have given a time out at Grandma's house and Grandma's store since they are there a lot and must know how to behave there too. So far no need out in the general public but they are normally one on one with me or my husband or mostly just with me in the stroller and can't get in too much trouble that I can't stop then!

Good luck, I figure every effort I make now will pay off double in the near future but consistenly is the key and that is the hard part but it will pay off! I like the 123 magic synopsis from above as it has consistent language and is to be used for everything. Currently I give them one chance, if they are touching something they shouldn't I tell them if they touch it again they will go to time out then there they go.