How can four year olds be so mean to other kids?

I have no patience for mean kids! Earlier in the year, Seamus told me he has no friends and that when he was playing outside, one of the boys said he was the bad guy and they all ran away from him. Maybe they were playing typical good guy/bad guy but he wasnt playing that so when they all ran from him he was sad.

Then at breakfast today he said, “Do you know what is really bad at school? When boys block me from sitting on the bench and Michael told me I had to sit by Sara.” I asked him what he did and he said he sat by Sara. (When they get to school they all sit on a bench in the hall and wait for all the kids to get there.)

This is not acceptable to me at all. I will not have my 4 year old son being sad at school because a couple of mean boys in the class.

I talked to the teacher the first time he was sad about the kids and she was going to make an effort to make sure all kids were partners with each other so Seamus was not always with the same little boy. She matched Seamus up with this little boy who is sweet but does not talk at all so she was going to change that so he could have time with all the kids. She said the class is full of rough boys and Seamus is not like them.

So now I have to talk to her about kids blocking him on the bench. I will not have his love of school and enthusiasm taken away because of the other nasty boys in his class. I’m just frustrated!

 

:hug: Nicole. That is so sad to me. It breaks my heart. You are doing the right thing by adressing the issue with the teacher. Bullying at any age is not acceptable. This is the one issue I have drilled into my kids, it's so important for them to stand up for themselves and for others.

 

:hug: Nicole, poor little Seamus! Our preschool's whole philosophy is based on friendship & respect, so they work on that a lot. I would definitely let the teachers know exactly what is going on, so that they can hopefully take care of the problem. If those little boys are acting that way at 4, what are they going to be like at 8 or 10?! :hug:

 

Thanks girls. You know what is really sad...he said, "I'm a tricky guy because I told you all my friends are good but the boys are not." At the beginning of school I asked them how their friends are and he said good. So he has been internalizing this I think and that is so sad to me!

 

Poor little sweetie. I'm glad he is telling you about it now. It is sooooo hard to see your kids upset over the way friends treat them. :hug:

 

:hug: My girls aren't in school yet, but I worry about my sweet Meara because she is so sensitive. I hope the teacher and you can work something out to make his time in school enjoyable.

 

:hug: I'm so sorry this is going on! I hope you get to talk to the teacher about it and she takes action. I'm with Tina, if they act like this at 4, no telling what will come when they are 10. It's so heartbreaking to watch when the girls try so hard to be nice and play with another kid and they are shunned. It happened to Ashlyn this summer in gymnastics class...the little girl was a total brat. :angry:

 

Just reading this made me so sad for Seamus. Just heartbreaking I am sorry he has to deal with these miniature bullies - I can't believe this is happening with 4 year olds. His teacher definitely needs to be more proactive against this. He is so young still and forming opinions about school - it should be and needs to be a positive experience! I hope his teacher steps up to the plate. (((((HUGS)))) to you and Seamus!

 

This is the part of school I just hate. I don't understand why kids have to be so mean either. I agree totally that addressing it with the teacher is the right thing to do. He's too young to have school be something he doesn't enjoy!