How about another sleep problem…

My twins just turned 3 and have been in toddler beds for over 4 months. Besides the initial troubles, both were going down and sleeping great at nap time and bedtime. Neither of them have ever slept in our bed. For over 6 weeks now, Colin gets up anywhere between 3-6 times per night between the hours of 12-4 am (I also have an 18-month old who wakes often due to teething). He goes back down easily most of the time, but I am getting very broken sleep. I take him to the potty when he wakes the first time, but there is really no other reason for him to be waking after that. Sometimes, he wakes up crying that he wants me to come in and turn on his turtle (Starlight Turtle, which he can turn on himself), but most of the time he just hangs out next to my bed whimpering until I take him back to his room – luckily I am a light sleeper! His brother sleeps right on through with the occasional wake to go to the bathroom.

He has seen the doctor and there is nothing medically wrong with him... doc just shrugged it off to normal toddler sleep troubles and offered no advice. I feel like we have tried everything. I’ve tried CIO, adjusting nap duration, no nap, adjusting bedtime, pretending to sleep while he stands next to my bed, and talking about staying in bed at night time throughout the day – NO DICE. I do not believe he is ready to ditch his nap all together. He is very clingy to me during the day, wanting to be held, hugged, sitting on my lap, or just cuddled. Both boys have gone through a lot of changes during the past 5 months… potty training, transitioned out of cribs, no more binky, and I am currently 5 months pregnant. I’m thinking he is waking for extra attention. I am physically exhausted before the day even starts and emotionally exhausted by days end, making for one crabby mommy. I am at my wits end and considering putting an inflatable bed in our bedroom just so I don’t have to get up so often, but who knows if that will work either. Of course, I don’t want to start something that will be a bigger problem in the future. Seriously, this sleep deprivation feels like the early days of twin motherhood! Help!!!!

 

I would start a positive reward chart for him staying in bed. Each night he stays in bed, no crying and turns on his turtle himself, he gets a sticker. 5 stickers and he gets a prize. Pick something that you think will motivate him (ice cream, movie time, trip to the playground). We are currently doing this with one of our 2.5 year olds who went through a lot of developmental changes recently.

 

I like PP's suggestion about the rewards for staying in his room. Since you know this is attention seekeing behavior, I would deal with it with the least attention possible. Don't look or talk to him as much as possible, quietly and efficiently guide him back to his crib, prompt him to turn on his own night light, etc. I think all kids go through periods where they try to develop bad sleep habits, and you have to push through. I do realize that it's harder in your situation because you probably don't want him to make a big fuss and wake the rest of the house. Good luck! Laura

 

The reward chart is a great idea... it worked great for potty training but I never thought of it for this problem!! I will also try to give him as little attention as possible when returning him to bed. This will be tough because I get so frustrated, but negative attention is still attention, right!?! Thanks, ladies!!

 

UPDATE: About a month ago, we moved the boys from toddler beds into full sized beds. We also gave them each a night light to have in their bed (Starlight Turtle safely tied to the headboard) so they don't have to get out of bed to turn the light on. I also cuddle with them in their beds for 5-10 minutes each before bed and I leave the bedroom door wide open. I think this new arrangement works and they love the extra cuddle time to settle down. Sleep has been really great! Colin, who gave me the most trouble sleeps right on through the night now. His brother may wake up once or twice, but he goes right back to sleep after he goes to the bathroom or gets tucked in. Ahh.... thank goodness! Some good sleep for me before a new baby comes and throws my sleep for a loop again! We did start a reward chart for their behavior, with "Staying in bed" as one of the things they get a sticker for. They really love it and like to count the number of stickers they get each day. Thanks for the advice!!

 

GBH
Thats good to hear that the boys seemed to 'get it'! Gives me hope lol!