Hosting Thanksgiving at 37 weeks?

My DH would really like to host Thanksgiving for the 2 sets of parents and some extended family. I'll be 37 weeks that day and I feel overwhelmed at the idea. He said I wouldn't have to do anything but sit on the couch. Will I be physically comfortable enough and sane enough to be a smiling hostess to all of these people? I don't want to say no if I'm just being silly, but I feel like I'll be waiting for babies to come anytime and won't want a house full of people! Please be honest with me if I'm being ridiculous. I want to be supportive.

Thanks!
Christy

 

Oh my! I never would have wanted a holiday at my house at 37 weeks. Even if I was told I did not have to do anything. You know if people were coming, you would do more then you would do if nobody was coming! I would not host Thanksgiving.

 

Oh, no way! My IL's came here for Thanksgiving when I was 32 weeks and I still say the stress of that visit was the reason I had my babies at 34 weeks! No, seriously, even though I didn't do anything but sit in a recliner (I was on bedrest) for Thanksgiving, it was not a good time at all to have any company in the house. I was miserably uncomfortable the whole time!

 

Oh my gosh - I think you are quite patient and loving to have not to told him no way right away. My gut reaction was something a little less complimentary to your DH - sorry for that thought. By 37 weeks, there is a great chance that your family will have already been blessed with the arrival of your twins, and I think that might put a kink in his plans. Besides being hostess, there is getting the house clean, and shopping, and prep work, and although he is nice to tell you all you would have to do is sit there, can you really just sit there when you have company in your home? Even when we just got back from the hospital and I was supposed to rest, I couldn't. I do not think you are being ridiculous at all.

 

QUOTE
Will I be physically comfortable enough and sane enough smile.gif to be a smiling hostess to all of these people?


NO way! Sorry, but I can't think of any other way to put it!! Sweet of you to at least think about doing it though!

 

I don't even need to think about that one... NO! Who knows you could end up in labor and then how fun is that in the middle of a party? If he needs convincing that this is a bad idea talk to your doctor about it and request that he explain the nature of a twin pregnancy more fully to him... Not to mention if they are born earlier than that do you really want to have thanksgiving dinner after having just given birth? There are way too many factors to consider with this one.

If he is still not swayed you can tell him that if he wants to have Thanksgiving at your house than he will need to have the house spotless without your help and if he expects a dinner he better tell the guests it is a pot luck!!!

 

QUOTE(EmilyM @ Sep 5 2007, 09:17 PM) [snapback]394669[/snapback]
Oh my gosh - I think you are quite patient and loving to have not to told him no way right away. My gut reaction was something a little less complimentary to your DH - sorry for that thought. By 37 weeks, there is a great chance that your family will have already been blessed with the arrival of your twins, and I think that might put a kink in his plans. Besides being hostess, there is getting the house clean, and shopping, and prep work, and although he is nice to tell you all you would have to do is sit there, can you really just sit there when you have company in your home? Even when we just got back from the hospital and I was supposed to rest, I couldn't. I do not think you are being ridiculous at all.



Thank you so much for all of these responses!!!

He did say we'd order a thanksgiving dinner and just pick it up, and said we'll tell people we're not cleaning or doing anything to get ready, but that they can come be with us with low expectations. Assuming I actually don't have prep work, is there a chance I'll be okay just sitting there or will it put me over the edge?

Christy

 

QUOTE(christy247 @ Sep 5 2007, 09:25 PM) [snapback]394678[/snapback]
Thank you so much for all of these responses!!!

He did say we'd order a thanksgiving dinner and just pick it up, and said we'll tell people we're not cleaning or doing anything to get ready, but that they can come be with us with low expectations. Assuming I actually don't have prep work, is there a chance I'll be okay just sitting there or will it put me over the edge?

Christy



Oh man!! This is tricky! I still want to say no way but not as much as in my earlier post. I think the best thing to do is say 'we wil see' and the truth of the matter is that in the weeks to come, you will know yourself what you think you should do. In the mean time, I would have the family come up with a Thanksgiving day 'plan b' in case you decide at last minute not to have them over.

 

JMO but this is way too early to plan Thanksgiving. There are soooooo many things that can happen with a twin pregnancy before then (hopefully it won't). You could go into ptl or be put on strict bedrest etc. I think what you've come up with is a compromise, but at the very least you will be very, very uncomfortable physically. I still wouldn't do it.

 

QUOTE(TAD665 @ Sep 5 2007, 10:35 PM) [snapback]394691[/snapback]
JMO but this is way too early to plan Thanksgiving. There are soooooo many things that can happen with a twin pregnancy before then (hopefully it won't). You could go into ptl or be put on strict bedrest etc. I think what you've come up with is a compromise, but at the very least you will be very, very uncomfortable physically. I still wouldn't do it.


Yup - your first priority needs to be to you and your babies, and that means taking things one week or one day at a time. Remembering 37 weeks, I would not suggest doing it, but maybe taking the wait and see approach would work - just make sure there is an alternate plan for someon else to host (because I would definitely be using it, myself! )

 

QUOTE(christy247 @ Sep 5 2007, 10:08 PM) [snapback]394657[/snapback]
Will I be physically comfortable enough and sane enough to be a smiling hostess to all of these people?



Ummm... NO! Heck I wasn't even comfortable enough to be a smiling hostess to DH at 37 weeks not to mention other people.

I would say "sorry hun but I think that it would be better for everyone if we planned something for Christmas (if you celebrate it) instead." Totally play it up with everyone will get to see the babies, you will be more comfortable, etc.

 

You may be in labor or have 2 little babies by then, many docs induce at 37 weeks. Why don't you suggest that you all plan to go out for a nice Thanksgiving buffet or something, that way if something goes awry, you and DH can cancel and everyone else will still have a place to go. I'm at 35 weeks now, and just to take a shower and sit in a chair for a few hours is exhausting, I spend a good chunk of my day laying in bed or on the couch, it's the only semi comfortable position.

 

I would still say no. There are too many variables (will you be on bedrest? Will you already have the twins?). I was only 32 wks pregnant on Thanksgiving, on modified br, and it was all I could do to sit at the table long enough to eat a small meal. I couldn't wait to get back home and lie down.

I would say H-E-Double-hockey-sticks NO.

 

Trust me you will be too uncomfortable to deal with company over. I am only 33 weeks and am EXTREMELY miserable. I am not on bedrest or anything but it is VERY hard to get comfortable at all. And it does not seem to be getting any better. I know your DH said just sit there but it is still very hard to have a smile on your face and just sit there.

 

I wouldn't commit to it this early. As others have said, you could be on bedrest, you could be in labor, you could have the twins by then. Can you wait until you get into October/November before committing? Everyone is different and you could be feeling up to it, but who knows (I was shopping at Walmart by myself at 37+ weeks the day before my bundles decided to drop in, and feeling fine). Good Luck with your decision.

 

My first reaction was NO WAY!! I know of, and have heard of, people being miserable starting as early as 28/29 weeks. I started to get miserable around 33 and delivered at 37. What about if you wait until eary November to see how your pregnancy is progressing and see how you are feeling and if you are okay, maybe ask someone to bring you a dinner and just have a "visit". In other words, you're not inviting them to come and eat at your house, you are inviting them to bring you something and just sit and chat. I was on bedrest at 34 weeks and wouldn't have been able to even sit in the living room and socialize. Good luck with whatever decision you go with!

 

My first reaction was no way, then I started thinking about what I would do. I would want to try it, just to make DH happy and family and see people. That being said deep down I think the most you can say right now is we will see with a probable no. Although DH says no cleaning will be done, I would still try and clean. While people would smile and understand I needed to sit and rest, I would feel guilty for not hosting more. Finally, there is the impact of people around you at that time. I am already tired of the when will you have them questions and the you should be doing X comments, by 37 weeks I will probably be turning my cell off. Do you really want to be the center of attention all day? Thats not something you can control. I completely understand they why's and come up with 100 rationalizations for how it would "be easy" on you. Really think about this and defer a choice as long as you can.

 

No, no, no! Let someone else do it this year or go out. I hosted T-day at my house last year and was 5 mos. pg. Although I technically didn't have to do much at all, I was EXHAUSTED. I agree with pp....by 37 weeks, I couldn't be the smiling hostess to DH!!!

 

I can't even imagine hosting something like that now! And I'm only at 28 1/2 weeks! This week I've really started to get uncomfortable and there's no way I could have my house in the kind of shape I'd want it to be in for a whole lot of guests!

 

Okay so does your dh cook???...does he clean???...if he doesn't do those things with confidence and enthusiasm then no way are you going to just be sitting on your butt for hosting thanksgiving. My dh could never in a million years get a meal ready for thanksgiving and have the house ready for all those people. If your dh has super culinary skills AND cleans up nicely without nagging, then I might consider it at least briefly... My gut would be to still say no. There is no guarantee that you won't have the babies by then...and believe me if the babies are already born you really won't want all those people in your house. That would be my biggest concern. If your babies are born the day or two before how do you ditch all those people...no one would be prepared to host. I think your best bet would be to simply dine out for thanksgiving at a nice restaurant or let someone else host it. Tell your dh there is always next year... I think your dh's domestic enthusiasm is sweet...but in this case a little misplaced... he should focus on keeping you comfortable and getting the house ready for the babies... It'll be a long time before there is smooth sailing again in your home after the babies are born...so it would be better to take advantage of the quiet before the storm by resting and enjoying your time together rather than inviting a whole troupe of people into your house.

 

Personally I think that if you give yourself even 2-3 more weeks to make this decision you may give a resounding no. At 26 weeks I was feeling ok. Getting big and a bit uncomfortable but not too bad. Now at 29 weeks and some change I am getting to the miserable side of uncomfortable. I know that by 37 weeks I will be really miserable.

I would say no. I will have mine by T-giving and I have already let DH know that I will not be hosting here and if he wants to travel to his family he can but I doubt very seriously that I will be attending. Him and DD may go by themselves but I will not be traveiling with two just about newborns. And you may be thinking that if the babies are here by then things will be different and why not have everyone over but I doubt you would want that either. Too many people breathing on babies, trying to feed two babies, you will be tired etc.

I would tell him no, you appreciate his kind offers but it will just be too much! We cancelled our annual Labor Day party this year and I was just 29 weeks but I just knew it would have been tooooo much. You are a sweetie for thinking of telling him yes but I really think that this is not the year to consider it.

 

Christy, there is a chance you'll be in the hospital or just home with new babies! I would see if you can have a back up plan in case! I wouldn't have done it! NO WAY!

I applaud your hubby for his enthusiasm!! I hope that holds up and you can host it next year instead!!! It's really not a good idea this year!

 

No way would I do it!! I didn't even have Emily's birthday party here at home and I was only 29wks pg!! My aunt offered to have it and I definetly took her up on that. When you get to that point in your pregnancy you have to take things day by day....you have no idea what your situation will be at Thanksgiving considering you will 37wks. You may be just coming home with them, still in the hospital for having them, or having them that day!! Plus, being 37wks, you will be miserable. I had my girls 36w5d and was sooooo physically miserable that I didn't want to do a thing but get them out! I couldn't imagine hosting a holiday being that miserable.

You definetly need to really consider not doing this being 37wks pg or being a new mom to twins. Just my advice from what I have experienced thus far and my girls are just 4wks old.

April

 

i'm 31 weeks and can't imagine having to host something now! i have a hard time even going to someone ELSE'S house at this point, because i'm just so tired, and i don't feel like being "on" all day and answering all their pregnancy/twin questions. if i'm still pregnant at 37 weeks, all i'll want is peace and quiet until the babies come. so i'd say no way.

 

QUOTE(moski @ Sep 6 2007, 11:35 AM) [snapback]394933[/snapback]
I wouldn't commit to it this early. As others have said, you could be on bedrest, you could be in labor, you could have the twins by then. Can you wait until you get into October/November before committing? Everyone is different and you could be feeling up to it, but who knows (I was shopping at Walmart by myself at 37+ weeks the day before my bundles decided to drop in, and feeling fine). Good Luck with your decision.


I think if you can wait to commit w/ a backup plan that would be the best way to go.

We did host Thanksgiving for 14 people at our house last year, I was 32 weeks...and those last few weeks do make a huge difference in how you feel (I did have my girls at 36 weeks, and was pretty uncomfortable at that point, but not so much that I didn't feel like company ).

However...and this is a huge however, LOL! My DH does 99.9% of all the cooking at our house (I tell him I love him too much to give him food poisoning ). We've hosted T-day ever since we moved into our house 3 yrs ago, so it's 'our' holiday and we have practice as to how things go. DH also cleans and my MIL and SIL came over and helped out w/ organization before. And my mom came over early to help DH w/ the cooking (she always does).

I really enjoy spending time w/ our families, everyone is very low-key and Thanksgiving is a huge deal for DH (fav holiday) so for me it was almost a no brainer to host at our house...plus...I had no intentions of traveling anywhere for T-day. Much easier for me to have it at our house and if I felt like going to lay down, or just relax, it was no biggie.

We even had my folks 'over' for Christmas Day, the day we came home from the hospital. My mom had Xmas dinner all ready for us and our dogs were taken care of.

Good luck with your decision! Only you know how well you'll be able to relax with everyone over, I obviously had no trouble (But I'm also of the school if someone sees a little dust at my house and it bothers them....here's a rag!)

 

I also think it is too early to commit, but I would have to say no. What happens if you are in the hospital or have had the babies at that point? You just don't know.

 

IN JULY I WAS 36 WKS AND WALKING THE REDSKINS FIELD. THE ONLY THING WAS MY BELLY WAS SO HEAVY.
I WASNT ON BED REST ..BUT TAKEN OFF OF WK.

I WOULD DEFINETLY SAY NOT A CHANCE.. EVERY ONE WILL BE OVER SOON ENOUGH TO SEE THE BABIES..


IF HE WAS DOING IT FOR YOU.. HIM AND YOUR MOM???? ( DONT KNOW YOUR SITUATION) THAN MAYBE.. BUT NOT FRIENDS/ KIDS / EXTENDED FAMILY!

GOOD LUCK IN BREAKING THE NEWS

 

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I can't tell you how helpful all of your responses have been! We had a great conversation and have settled it. I think it was hard for him to factor in my being able to HANDLE having all of those people around, even if I were just resting. I said, "Picture yourself with the stomach flu, and I'm saying, Oh but it's just our family, and everyone understands and is here to support you." He said, "Wow. I get it. I would need to be able to pace the hallway without having to have a conversation."

It helped sooooo much to have everyone's support. I felt like I wasn't being unreasonable in defending my gut feeling. Thank you, ladies!!!!!

Christy

 

we just had a huge Labor Day bbq, and I was 33 1/2 weeks. so i'm not going to tell you to rule it out completely, but here are some things to think about:

1. Is it realistic that DH will do everything? (or that the guests will help him) Or is it likely that you'll get up to help? You need to be disciplined to SIT even if you see someone doesn't have a drink, or hasn't been pulled into a conversation, or something else we're compelled to do when hosting. DH will need to do all of that.

2. Have you and DH ever hosted Thanksgiving? If not, he doesn't know what he's getting himself into and you should probably say no.

3. What will be the back-up plan if you are either in the hospital or have two newborns at home? My parents joined us for Thanksgiving (because they were visiting to help) when my DD was born. We were lucky we had turkey, stuffing and potatoes. DH and I were exhausted. It was not fun.

After the bbq we had on Monday, I was exhausted even though I hadn't done anything. Just visiting is exhausting! Poor DH is still recovering for all the effort he put in.

Let us know what you end up doing!

 

Oh, girl... don't do it!!! I'm just as far along as you, and my doc says that I likely won't make it to Thanksgiving. Maybe if you really HAD to do it, though, you could have it catered? I know it'd cost an arm and a leg, but it's just not practical for you. If the family members (and DH volunteer to do setup, dishes and cleanup, I'd consider it. BUT, you could also do it "potluck" style and purchase the turkey already cooked. Some restaurants deliver cooked, hot and ready turkeys on T-giving. Just a thought!

 

No!!

 

I wouldn't do it! I can't imagine how you will feel at 37 weeks and just having people around will make you uncomfortable-I know it would be too much for me! I give you credit for even thinking about it-I would have told my DH absolutley not!

 

that is crazy talk woman! I was having babies at 37 weeks. The days prior I was miserable beyond description.

Reyna

 

QUOTE(christy247 @ Sep 6 2007, 11:42 AM) [snapback]395416[/snapback]
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I can't tell you how helpful all of your responses have been! We had a great conversation and have settled it. I think it was hard for him to factor in my being able to HANDLE having all of those people around, even if I were just resting. I said, "Picture yourself with the stomach flu, and I'm saying, Oh but it's just our family, and everyone understands and is here to support you." He said, "Wow. I get it. I would need to be able to pace the hallway without having to have a conversation."

It helped sooooo much to have everyone's support. I felt like I wasn't being unreasonable in defending my gut feeling. Thank you, ladies!!!!!

Christy


Great job sticking up for yourself! Excellent use of the familiar to get DH to understand :icon_biggrin: