Hospital question

I have a great friend who is going to take my dd while I'm in the hospital having the twins. My dd will be 16/17 months, depending on when the twins are born. My friend who is keeping my dd told me to have my dd spend the night at their house the duration of my stay in the hospital. I'm not concerned with my dd being comfortable there, because that is where she was when I was at work last year, so she loves it there and has all their kids to play with, so her attention will be elsewhere.

Me, I'm beyond sad about it. I've never spent a night away from my daughter and it breaks my heart to have to leave her. Do I send my husband home every night so he can stay the night with our dd so that it isn't all overwhelming to her? Or do I just have my friend bring my dd up to the hospital every day?

I already know I'm having a c-section, which will make things harder recovery wise then they were when I had my dd.

For those that had an older child what did you do? I'm so torn.

 

My son was quite a bit older when my daughters were born, but I suggest letting her stay with your friend. I would not have wanted to be left alone without DH after having a c-section. You may need help with the babies, with getting up to go to the bathroom, with lots of things, and you will want DH there if he can be there. Ask your friend to bring your daughter by the Hospital once a day so you can visit with her, and try to do it say before dinner time. My parents kept bringing my son over at like 7:30 at night, and it was too late, and we were all tired. You'll be out of there in no time, and be able to spend time with her at home.

 

You will probably want DH there with you at the hospital so I would suggest you get your friend to just bring her up there to see you.

 

My parents came to stay with us, and they took care of DD1. My husband stayed with me most of the day in the hospital, but went home at night. I bottle fed, and my twins went to the nursery each night so I could get some sleep, and didn't need him to help at night.

Your daughter will probably have a great time, but I know it is hard to be away from your children. :hug99: Even for something like this!

Good luck!

 

I am in the same situation. My daughter will be around 13 months when I deliver and I have never been away from her for the night. She doesn't even go to daycare. We are planning on having my MIL or mother come over and STN at our house with her and my older daughter. I am nervous though because she is a creature of habit and not a very solid sleeper. It makes me feel better that Maddy, my oldest daughter will be there with her though. I think I am going to need a section so my hubby is staying with me

 

I was just thinking about this today for myself. My twins will be 16 months when I deliver, I just relaized that they will not be allowed on the L&D/recovery floor because of their age. I am SO sad about this! Make sure that she is even allowed to visit you. I hope this reply doesn't upset you but it's better to be mentally prepared and to prepare her as well...hopefully your hospital has a better policy about this than mine does.

 

Thanks for that information. I will definitely be checking to see if she can come visit us.

I still don't know what to do. I plan on bottle feeding as well and have thought about putting the babies in the nursery so I could get some sleep, since I know I won't be getting any when I go home. This is why we had decided to have dh go home at night. If my dd did stay at my friends and came to visit, I know they would bring her earlier in the day, because she goes to sleep by 7pm, and it's a 45 minute drive to the hospital.

I'm waiting for some more opinions to help a little more, otherwise I guess we'll just play it by ear.

 

My DD was 22 months when the twins were born. My parents watched her during the day when I was in the hospital. My DH took off the day of my C-Section and then took off a week when I came home. He brought DD to the hospital when he got home from work.
Honestly, I needed him to take time off from work when I came home with the babies, NOT when I was in the hospital. I sent the babies to the nursery at night -- the nurses brought them to me to BF them when needed. I didn't see any real need to have him there at night. I wanted him to be rested when I arrived home and I wanted DD's schedule disrupted as little as possible.
HTH!

 

I had a c-section and personally it was very nice for dh to be there all night with me. I would let your friend keep your daughter. I know it is hard but she knows your friend and is fine with being at your friend's house so I would let her stay so that dh can be with you. I really needed my dh even at the hospital, not just because of emotional support but also the first couple of days after a c-section are the roughest IMO. I needed help getting to the bathroom, I needed him to hand me things and I had planned on sending the girls to the nursery at night but when it came down to it I just wanted them with us!

 

I kept my dd in the room with us and didn't want her to leave our sight. This time is going to be different for many reasons. I didn't have a c-section with my dd so I was able to move around a lot more then I know I will be able to with the twins.