Horrible night...

DS has been REALLY fussy the last few nights when trying to get him down for the night. Last night it came to a head when he nursed 5 minutes and then pulled off the breast crying! DD seemed okay and continued nursing. I tried my hardest to get him to relatch but he would pop right off again, crying even more. I felt my breasts and realized they were very, very soft...

The last few days have been really stressful around here (I'm going back to work soon, daycare anxiety, all of us have colds, nighttime sleep has been horrible...I think I have gotten an hour here and there each night). I am hoping that one of those might be the cause?? Also, the babies have been spacing their daytime feedings out to 3 hours...sometimes more. They used to wake after 4 hours at night, but the last few nights we can't get them settled for the night and they wake every 1-2 hours. The night before last, DS was crying non-stop for 45 minutes and nothing would settle him. I even posted a quick question about colic starting so late...he was completely inconsolable.

So, last night, I am in streaming tears and tell DH to just make a bottle of formula (I was too worried about the time it would take to thaw BM). DS is screaming so hard that he is bright red and not breathing. It was horrible...absolutely horrible. For the first time, DS tasted formula...and he gulped down a 4 oz bottle in no time. He settled right down and fell asleep without too much trouble. And I am sure you can imagine how pleased DH is...all the women at work insist their babies didnt sleep well at night until they switched to formula. He thinks this is the ticket to the babies sleep issues.

I am devastated...is it possible that I have been denying my baby food? I don't have time after nursing to pump (to boost supply) as I am trying to get the babies down for their naps on my own. I am too afraid to pump in the middle of the night since we aren't really sure how long they will sleep. So, what do I do? I know I need to eat better...lots of stress and very little time to prepare good food. I am planning to nap more when the babies sleep...if they sleep.

DH always seems to passively question my milk and supply. I didn't need this as proof that something might be wrong. I will also add that DS diapers seem a bit lighter than they used to...and he is taking 6oz of EBM for his midnight feed. Could he be making up for not enough to eat during the day?

What should I do to get this figured out? DS has been fussier than he used to be...and we keep thinking the fussiness was supposed to end at least 2 weeks ago.

 

Hey Sarah,
My husband does the same mess. It is really annoying. I don't know why people insist on connecting breast milk to sleep trouble. My DH has been dying to mi rice cereal into a bottle because he thinks it will make them sleep longer. I finally broke down one night and let him do it--they woke up even earlier

I think there is some growth spurt or something related to eating and sleeping that happens between 3-4 months. I've been struggling too. Sleep has regressed, and they clusterfeed each night. It's only been in the past couple days that they seem to be getting beyond this.

I don't have any great suggestions, but I'm with you.

 

You and DH need to have a sit-down. He needs to support you. BF babies have fussy times and growth spurts and so do FF babies. It's just babies. I'm sorry you are all not feeling well and I know how stressful it must be to think of working and daycare and all that. :hug: DH shouldn't be telling you what FF mothers experience has been if you aren't interested in FF. There is no evidence that formula will help a baby sleep. Especially if it's a growth spurt which you are at the classic time for. I'll never NEVER forget the cluster-feeding and inconsolable baby times. I remember taking L into the tub in the middle of the night because that was the only thing that helped her so she and I would get in and she would finally fall asleep and I would add warm water every 20 minutes for two hours. The things we do! Anyway, this will pass and your BM is fine. Tell DH how much you need his support through this. You're a great mom.

 

I agree with the growth spurt/sleep regression theory...DD did the same crazy inconsolable, red-faced, barely breathing cry two nights in a row last week before the late night feed...she was so upset I couldn't get her to latch until she calmed down, but she wouldn't calm down b/c she was hungry. DH walked around shushing her until we finally got her to slow down the sobs...then she latched and was fine. When it happened again the next night (and these were also the nights she kept me up feeding every 2 hours again), he told his colleague, a friend of ours w/ a DD about 6 months older. She told him her DD never went through anything like that and had him convinced it was colic...but she has ONE baby whose needs can always be attended to immediately and she supplemented with formula all along. EBF babies needs are different...and I think it comes out more in the growth spurts b/c they do digest it so fast. Plus ypu can't force them to eat if they are upset since they have to do the work. I'm lucky that my DH is now totally supportive of BFing (although there were definitely times when he wanted to break into my freezer stash on nights like the one you just had) - does your DH know all of the positives? Mine knew some of them from the start (antibodies, easier to digest, physical reassurance, etc.), but I think the ones that really convinced him were the SIDS reducer and the possibility of a higher IQ for BF preemies. After I showed him the extended list of benefits, he became more encouraging instead of just tentatively supportive.

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time lately. I'm sure it will pass soon...it passed for my DD in a few days...but unfortunately now it's her brother's turn. I hope it gets easier soon! :hug:

 

Sarah, I am so sorry you had a bad night.  I've had some bad ones like that too and was convinced I was starving my babies.  My DH wasn't that supportive either.  Being right in the thick of it myself, I don't have any advice.  Just want to say that the exact same thing happens at my house and somehow we've made it through.  I'm still amazed that my DS is 100% breastfed and still growing!  In my moments of doubt that is what I think about.  I look at how far we've come on just breastmilk and reassure myself that something must be going right.  Another possibly hopeful thing I can tell you is that my DS did what your babies are doing right before he started only waking up once during the night after a 6-7 hour stretch.  I was positively ready to throw in the towel with him because it seemed as if I couldn't satisfy him at all.  Then all of a sudden he's practically sleeping through the night.  I don't begin to understand the ins and outs of breastfeeding and our babies appetites.  Just know that you are doing an amazing job and I'm sure that your supply is fine.  Take care of yourself and tell your DH to knock it off!!! :hug:  :hug:  :hug:

 

:hug: Big big hugs. I'm so sorry that you're stressing out, and that your DH is not supporting you. Ditto pps - he needs to understand how to support you to make this work. That means NOT questioning you every time the babies act like perfectly normal babies!

If you're really worried about your supply, there is one way to know for sure and put your mind at ease: take them in for a weight check. If they're gaining appropriately, they are getting enough, no matter how much they yell at you!

Really, it just sounds like they're venting their baby angst. It's not you, it's them. And it is very, very common for your breasts to feel softer about this time. It happens to a lot of nursing moms around 3-4 mo postpartum, and most of them freak out that they're losing their supply - but really it's just that your body is adjusting and you're not crazy engorged like in the beginning. :hug:

 

This EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME ABOUT 1 WEEK AGO! My baby popped off and started crying hysterically for the night feed. I started crying and sent my husband to the freezer to thaw out milk. He guzzled it down and then I thawed out more and even go formula out. We stopped before we gave him anymore. Somehow I realized that this was not going to help the situation. We ended up soothing the babies to sleep that night. The rest of the night was pretty normal but I do have to say that normal for us (at 4mos 1 week) is that they sleep for only about 2-3 hours at night between feedings. The first stretch is longer for one baby but not the other.

So the, the next night, he started to do the same thing... But, I was ready for it this time and started soothing him while he was still on the breast. Petting his head, shushing and talking softly to him, etc.... He stayed calm and just continued sucking although probably not getting much milk at that point.

I realized what has been happening is that they have been cluster feeding a bit more lately and have moved their night feeding earlier on their own. So, by the time we do the actually before bed feeding, there really isn’t much there at this point. Maybe there will be soon since perhaps they have been working lately to build my supply.

You really need to try and ride through these times and be ready for them when they happen. I know it is hard because it gets me by surprise often. Luckily my husband is supportive but that is because I read him these postings all the time and have since the beginning so he understand what is going on. Maybe you should share info that you learn from this site, do you?

I have been reading your postings lately and noticed that you are having similar trouble that I have with naps too. Just yesterday it started to get better for me. I wish you had someone to help you soothe at nap time. It is really helpful. It is a really difficult time but try and realize that it is most likely normal stuff that is happening.

Someone suggested that you do a weight in at a pediatrician or LC office before and after a feeding. Can you do that? I did that at one point and it really helped me to realize that my babies were gettting plenty of milk. It helped my confidence a lot.

Keep up the good work! You are doing a great job... Take care of yourself.. things are getting better.

 

Just wanted to say that milk volumes are not why babies sleep good or bad. No matter what people think that isn't it. Your doing great. Someone told me right about where you are that I was expecting too much from 3 month olds. She was right - I think it was excitedK who gives everyone a kick in the a** when they need it.

DS didn't sleep well even after weaning. You may want to look to other reasons. Too hot, too cold, hates feeling wet, eczema. Around 3 months we started a night routine and very early bed time - 6 pm. I don't know your routine but the early bed time helped DD learn to STTN on her own.

babies will ALWAYS drink from a bottle. Last night dinner and bed time were only about 20 minutes apart. Too VERY full babies from solids still drank their full bottles. Don't give in to the bottle drinking demons!