homeschooling antisocial kids?

My girls are very antisocial - I it takes them a very very long time to warm up to anyone. They are also VERY clingy to me I swear they freak if I go to the bathroom and leave them in the living room. I sent them to a mothers morning out 3 times a week last year because my elderly dad lives with us and has LOTS of appointments. I figured they would be happier playing with the other kids than sitting in a doctors office. Every other child cried at first for maybe 2 weeks - mine cried each morning ALL YEAR. I have bought some things to start pre k at home and I know we can go on field trips and even join a home school group BUT do you think I am making a big mistake and should send them to pre k since they are SO shy? I know they would be more comfortable at home but I am afraid if I keep them here they will never learn to interact with other kids??????? but if I send them I am doing bad things to them to!!?????

I was going to try to home school for pre k, see how it goes and hopefully continue. but with this extreme shyness I am second guessing myself!

TIA
Heather

 

I am not sure where you live, but I would look into homeschool support groups. You should be able to find some that have some fun activities for the girls. They may not like being away from you for long periods, but they could do just fine playing at the park with a small group of friends while you are there. As they get older, their independence will grow.

William is/was my painfully shy kid. It took William almost a year to participate in large group warm up at gymnastics, but has had no problem when they break into smaller groups. He would have serious problems in a class of 20 other students. That said he is extremely well behaved and able to make friends anywhere he goes now as long as there isn't too many other kids.

 

Thank you very much!! We are just north of Kansas City MO - The real estate agent that sold us this house home schools and told me that if I decide to go that route with the girls to call her. She is part of what sounds like a great group, I think I will call! I believe that these two will also do ok in smaller groups. I am looking in to gymnastics and or ballet classes for them this week. I hope I can find a good place. I agree that the small group thing will be the key! I appreciate you saying that as they grow so will their independence, that really made me feel better! I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to buy MYSELF a prom dress too!! THANK YOU!

 

Just wanted to add that when I was a kid I was painfully shy, too. For three different years I went to public school, and was always one of the favorite targets of the bullies. (They like kids that don't fight back.) I've often felt like I would have gotten over being shy better if it wasn't for the rough public school experience.

 

I think Jenn is totally right. I have one who is painfully shy. She's starting to go to activities without me and without crying (most of the time). But it's really only been this year (she's 4 1/2). She does so much better in a group if I'm there. And recently in church, I assigned an 11 year old boy to be her assistant in Jr. Sunday school. I'm in charge there. I did it to help him behave. But it's had this fabulous secondary positive of really bringing her out of her shell. At first she was completely silent unless she was crying. She just didn't participate. She had come around to not crying and comfortably sitting with her class, before Matthew. But after having him start sit with her, helping her do whatever activities were planned, and even go in front of the group of 30+ children to do things, she's really participating. To the point that sometimes she needs to be asked to quiet down, LOL. There are some other older kids (8-11) who also like to play with my little ones (and let's be honest, twins often seem maybe a little more fun and enticing for playing with than just single toddlers). This happens in our homeschool co-op, too. So finding a group, staying close enough that they can be comfortable, but having conversations with other adults and such to give them a little distance when they're ready for it, may well be one of the best ways to help them blossom. I personally think it's like attachment parenting. When they really feel safest, they're able to become comfortably independent. Personalities are different from child to child and it just takes some kids longer than others. Keep at it, and they'll probably really surprise you one day!