Home vistors after birth and animals.....

Hi everyone,
This is my first post and plan to do an introduction, but something just came up, that I need some advice about. Ok, I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with twin boys! I have some family lined up to come and visit/help out in the next month, before the babies get here. I also have a 2 year old son, who is getting pretty bored with me and being stuck at home (it is hot out there!). Anyways, so my sister in law has had plans to come the last week in July for months now. I have always been under the impression that it was just her coming, because everytime we talk, she goes on and on about how she will help me get whatever done I need to, take Aidan out to play, etc. Well, in a recent conversation, she mentioned that she is also bringing her 2 kids- a 4 and 6 year old. It isn't that I am an evil SIL, and the kids love me and I them, however, I feel like the whole reason for the trip has changed. As much as I would like a little family get together in a few months, I really dont feel like entertaining in my last 2-3 weeks of pregnancy. Not to mention that our home only has 3 bedrooms, and I just dont have a bunch of space without putting people in the living room. So...that is my first situation......am I over reacting?

Second, this same SIL just sent me about 3 text messages of pictures of their new family dog. I was talking to my husband and venting that I hope she doesn't plan to bring the dog when she comes. This also brought up the fact that his mom has 2 dogs (small) and I told him, I really dont want any dogs here when the babies come home, even our own chihuahua. When we brought my son home our dog went to stay with my parents until we were settled and then she came home with us. This is also my plan when the twins come home. Now I feel like the bad person and not sure what to do. He responed that his mom will be bringing her dogs or she wont come. Nice, huh. I said "not happening". I am putting my foot down here. Dogs carry germs and it is not worth the risk when you dont know if the babies will have allergies to the dogs. Also, his moms dogs have never been around a baby, and that is a big concern, just as it was with Roxy (our dog). You never know how a dog-an animal- will act.

I do appreciate the help, and have a wonderful relationship with my inlaws, but I am very taken back by my husbands responses to this issue. I have not talked to my SIL or MIL about his yet.

Any advice?

 

You are running a household...not a ZOO! I'd put my foot down strong and firm! NO DOGS! (or anything else furry!)

 

First of all, I have to say that I am generally a big believer in the idea that babies are pretty much community property. I think that everybody loves to be around babies and I think that parents these days way overreact with keeping their kids shut away from the outside world when they are newborns. Personally, I feel that as long as the adults are healthy, wash their hands, and put blankets on their shoulders when they're holding the baby, then there is no reason family and friends should not be allowed to visit and interact with the babies, BUUUUUUT I think all bets are off when it comes to kids and animals. First of all, I think your SIL is nuts to say she's coming to help you out but bringing her two kids. How does she think thats going to work out? Little kids tend to be very unsettled and demanding when they are away from their own environment. I cant imagine that they're going to be too thrilled with mom giving her time and attention to caring for you and DS. I'm sure they will be playing up a bit to get her attention. And they certainly dont need to be around your newborns. Kids are walking cesspools of germs. You dont want that around your newborns. I wouldnt feel bad about that at all.

As for the MIL and the dogs -- stick to your guns on that one too. I'm sorry, but as much as people love their pets, they are still animals and their behavior can be unpredicatable, especially when you introduce babies and kids into the mix. I dont blame you. I would not want strange dogs in the house with my babies either (and I wonder sometimes what people are thinking -- who would bring their dogs to stay with someone who has newborn twins???). I do not think that there is anything at all wrong with your concerns and with you insisting that your wishes be respected. If MIL thinks her dogs are more important than being there for you and the babies then thats her choice but I dont think you have to cave on this one and you are NOT a bad person.

Just my two cents.

 

You are totally right on both counts. No dogs, and if your SIL has to bring the kids, then it isn't going to be a "help" and she shouldn't come. Blame it on whatever you want (paranoia about germs, not having enough space for everyone to sleep, etc.), but don't let yourself be strong-armed into either of those situations.

 

Agree with all PP's. Pets = germs. More kids = more noise, distractions, chaos, and did I mention noise? I too have a two year old, who will need attention. I have relatives coming, staying in HOTELS, which they offered to do just to help me out! I feel if your family is truly there to support you, they should see what needs to be done and not be offended if you don't allow certain aspects to occur.

Good luck. So sorry you have to deal with this!
Molly
34 weeks + 4 days