Holy *%@! This is getting harder!

I know moms of twins say each stage has its own challenges, and they are each hard in their own way, but this is ridiculous! My girls wake at 5:45, whine until 6:30 when I get up, whine when I tell them no eating dog food, or going in the knife drawer, or standing on the kitchen chairs, or running with colored pencils, or pulling the padding off of the mantle tile! Then they sleep, then they begin the whining all over again.

I pretty much just bide my time between naps, which thankfully are still two long ones each day. I feel like being a little evil and going back to the first year forum and saying something like, "You think you got it hard now, just wait!" but I won't. That was hard, but different hard. We are pretty broke since I don't get paid in the summer, so going out is pretty limited. They are terrible shoppers anyway. Terrible car babies. They just seem to wander around, sort of similar to a slow moving tornado.

I thought I was over this little daily nervous breakdown pattern when I listened to a radio telethon to raise money for Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital. I heard the stories of these brave little kids and their parents, and I counted my blessings and got it together emotionally, and said I would stop feeling sorry for myself. But here I am again, on the brink of tears b/c I am not handling this very well. The big picture is: I am soo lucky to have three healthy kids, a supportive DH, a great life! But the details of picking up after them, the noise, the work, the penny pinching, the monotony is killing me.

Thanks for listening. I know some of you are in the same place or have been there, and that alone helps to get through it.

 

My DD and her kids have moved in with us (that's a good thing, by the way) and I know what you mean about the constant whining. Her twins are 16 months old. I will be so glad when the boys have words to express what they want or how they feel instead of "uh, uh, uh, uh" in that whiny tone! I think it's just lack of vocabulary for them ... I hope!

Sending big hugs your way!

 

It will get better!!! I locked mine out of the dog food and the knives are on the counter out of reach, so I don't have those particular battles. The more stuff you can do to toddler proof, the fewer "battles" you'll have to chose from.

I know it's a hard stage!! Believe it or not, the 2nd year will go faster than the first and so on and so forth!!! So, they'll be three in the blink of an eye and talking and saying all kinds of darling things and excited about EVERYTHING! So, don't worry - it'll get easier!! (It did for me! )

 

I am right there with you, sister! For the most part I am actually loving this age. But we have had some CRAZY whiny days lately. They're so clingy and demanding and want everything right this minute.

Ditto Diane about childproofing! I am way too lazy to keep pulling my kids out of trouble all day long. In my house, if there's something they shouldn't get into, they pretty much can't get into it.

Oh, and I don't think the whining is a language issue for us. My kids are extremely verbal, and the only difference is that instead of whining "Uh, uh, uh!" they whine "Mommy!" "car!" "Ivy!" "Pooh bear!" "puppy!" "cup!" "hug!" "climb!" "down!" etc. <_<

 

15-19 months was hands-down the hardest phase for me. My boys were into absolutely everything and listened to absolutely nothing. The only way I kept my sanity was by getting the hell out of the house at LEAST once a day (sometimes twice). I would throw them in the car and run errands in the morning, then go for a walk to the park to get out the wiggles in the afternoon.

There are only so many times you can say "we don't ______" before your entire spinal column starts to twitch. When I started to feel mine twitching I knew it was time to load 'em up in the car or stroller.

Each phase has had its own challenges, but even though they've evolved their antics, I'll take today's antics over last years' antics (~18m) ANY day of the week. :hug99:

 

Your post made me laugh, but I feel your pain. It feels like 'whack a twin,' you settle one down and the other pops up. I tried teaching them a few sign language signs, that was a disaster. Taking them to the park or even to the grocery store works wonders. They love to go out (they are good car babies, actually) and I find them easier to manage out of the house. Most malls open early for walkers, so even if the shops aren't open, they can run around a bit.

 

y'all are scaring the snot out of me. :blink:

 

QUOTE(Grammy2TwinBoys+1 @ Aug 12 2008, 03:06 PM) [snapback]926098[/snapback]
My DD and her kids have moved in with us (that's a good thing, by the way) and I know what you mean about the constant whining. Her twins are 16 months old. I will be so glad when the boys have words to express what they want or how they feel instead of "uh, uh, uh, uh" in that whiny tone! I think it's just lack of vocabulary for them ... I hope!

Sending big hugs your way!


That WHINE!!! Sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard and I feel so terrible for even typing that sentence. But I mean, come ON already?! And Holly, you're right...I don't think words are much better because ever since we returned from San Antonio where they sat at the door to the backyard with the dogs all week, Caleb thinks that behind EVERY window there is a dog so he shouts DOG?! DOG?! DOG?! over and over again. Not to mention, every other fuzzy four-legged creature is a dog as well. Yeah, this stage is about to drive me nuts. And mine aren't even walking yet (which may actually be part of their frustration come to think of it). Good luck and hang in there and vent away!

 

15-20 months was the time I believe was the hardest so far. They were able to get into so much trouble but didn't comprehend what danger was. They were relentless in their persistence. The tantrums were at their peak. AND, it coincided with learning fun new tricks like taking off their clothes and a fascination with poop play. It was SO HARD and I cried a lot and felt like a huge failure because things had gone well up until then and they were such great babies who had suddenly transformed into crazy little toddlers.

We did a lot of running errands and playing outside because that was the only way I could catch my breath. I took them to the store for one thing more times than I care to admit and that's something I don't normally do (I keep a list and go when the list is getting long). I relied heavily on the occasional grandparent break and there were plenty of days when I fell into bed at 8 PM.

Something happened, though, as they neared 2. They started understanding more and responding to discipline. All phases come to an end so cut yourself some slack and try to enjoy the good parts.

 

Yes, that constant whine. AAAHHHHH. It started the day they turned 1. And that was only sunday. We've been whining for three days now. If i'm not holding my dd she just whines. And now you all are saying it gets worse . Oh help me. And i have to go through this again in 2 yrs

 

Oh my gosh. I am right there with you. Whine, whine, and whine some more. The only thing that keeps me sane is that I work during the week and they are so happy to see me and be at home in the afternoons that they do ok. The newest thing my girls have started doing is reading books. They love books but they hate to share them and if one takes the others book then it is a complete melt down. Grace is horrible about grabbing Hope and pulling her down and wrestling her and Hope hates it. How can it be so cute and so frustrating at the same time? Last night I was feeding them a popsicle and I told them to sit on my legs and Hope sat down but Grace kept standing up trying to look in the cup and I guess Hope thought Grace should sit down too. Everytime Grace would stand up Hope would push her down. Everytime things like this happen my oldest dd says you know mom we wouldn't get to see all this cute stuff with just one baby and she is right. I just wouldn't be the same. I know it is just a stage and it will pass to quickly and my sweet little babies will be going into the seventh grade like my oldest. Good luck to everybody going through this hard phase and we will all make it by venting together.

 

All RIGHT.... I thought everyone said it would get easier!! Mine are just alittle bit younger than yours so... I'm getting into this phase!!
Let's all try to keep SANE together!!! I'm glad I have all of you to talk with because the DH doesn't seem to understand!!!

Good Luck!

 

QUOTE(akameme @ Aug 12 2008, 04:11 PM) [snapback]926201[/snapback]
Taking them to the park or even to the grocery store works wonders. They love to go out (they are good car babies, actually) and I find them easier to manage out of the house. Most malls open early for walkers, so even if the shops aren't open, they can run around a bit.


Totally agree with this. I have to get out of the house everyday. If I had to be inside all day with 3 kids hanging on me whining "Mommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy," I would go crazy. I have to say at 20 months we may be coming out of this stage. They are starting to be more and more verbal and less and less whiny although they each still have their moments. Hang in there. :hug99:

 

Thank you all. I think I'm going to try to take them to the gym today, although DD is a shy little flower and I usually don't get much done before they call me back in. My mom suggested I put the "baby jail" (like a superyard) back together. We broke it up and have been using it to block off certain areas rather than to contain them. So, I did, and that's where they are now, quietly eating cheerios, drinking milk, and watching Curious George. AAAhhh, me time!

 

Yep, I'm right there too!! Mine were such good babies...but transitioning to toddlerhood has been really tough at times.

I used to take them out on errands more but between gas prices, super hot weather and random downpours - we only go shopping about once a week. Our gymboree membership has saved my sanity. We are there 4 times a week! It's less than 5 minutes from our house. We only stay for about an hour because Breena starts to whine if we are there any longer than that. But it is a great distraction for them and me....I don't have to do as much "No-ing."

Other things that have worked for us is what I call "controlled destruction." :icon_biggrin: I set up things for them to get into....like I'll leave the tupperware cupboard open so they can pull it all out and play. Or I'll bring them up to my scrap room and let them "find" big paper scraps in a special garbage can. I keep a big basket of books in the living room - where they normally aren't allowed - and we'll go in there so they can pull out all their books. Yes, this means that I have cleaning up to do afterward....but 5 minutes of cleaning up = 30 minutes of no whining so it's totally worth it to me.

I have also discovered the Snack Trap. They LOVE this thing! We walk 3 miles every morning and they get bored, so I take the Snack Traps filled with cheerios and it seriously keeps them quiet for the whole trip. It does NOT keep the cheerios from falling out (I'm surprised we don't have a large pack of squirrels trailing us) but it keeps them happy and its no big deal to dump some cheerios out of the stroller. I will also give them these to play with at home...luckily the dog likes cheerios too!

 

Add beating the crap out of each to that statement and you have my children!! They get up at 5.40 every morning. I try and persuade them to stay in their room untill 6.30 but it doesnt work lol. We then have breakfast get dressed and then play. Which usualy results in someone screaming, whinging or shouting NO MINE!! Then we have lunch i get a hours peace from a nap and then it starts all over again. I hate taking them shopping as if they are in the buggy they just fight and if they are out the try and escape lol. I try and take them out every day for their sanity and mine either to the park or to feed the ducks etc I think they get frustrated/bored doing the same thing every day , i know i do!! It is a little better now they are over 2 as pp said they can verbalise what they want instead of just whinging and pointing. SO i know exactly were you are coming from and it does get better trust me!! x

 

OMG, I thought I was alone! My daughter is throwing tantrums, hitting, stomping her feet, slamming doors. My son is throwing food EVERYWHERE, biting and whining. They are starting to throw things when they are mad. I try to tell them no, we do time outs....nothing works! I am just glad to know it "hopefully" gets easier. I am exhausted!

 

QUOTE(serranoboys @ Aug 12 2008, 04:45 PM) [snapback]926274[/snapback]
That WHINE!!! Sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard and I feel so terrible for even typing that sentence. But I mean, come ON already?! And Holly, you're right...I don't think words are much better because ever since we returned from San Antonio where they sat at the door to the backyard with the dogs all week, Caleb thinks that behind EVERY window there is a dog so he shouts DOG?! DOG?! DOG?! over and over again. Not to mention, every other fuzzy four-legged creature is a dog as well. Yeah, this stage is about to drive me nuts. And mine aren't even walking yet (which may actually be part of their frustration come to think of it). Good luck and hang in there and vent away!


Lily started walking pretty early and I think there was a huge difference in her demeanor when she was able to start walking. She was soooooooo much more fun to be around!

"DOG DOG" is Lily's favorite! She has to scream "DOG DOG " at every thing that resembles an animal. We have a lab so she spends half her day screaming "DOG DOG" at him and running around behind him with her hand firmly latched onto his tail. She finds dogs everywhere. Who would have noticed the picture of the dog on her sippy cup, on the side of the dog food bag, on the sign for pet supplies at target, on the side of the carpet cleaning van driving down the road, on the tv commercial, on the ...... you get the picture!

I find this time to be trying as well. Lily says more words than Jack but her entire vocab consists of blueberry, blue, purple, that, ball, dog, duck, and water. I feel so guilty for saying this, but, if Jack does not come up with another word besides ,"ana, aana, aana, aana" I am going to lose my mind. He says it for everything, I have no idea what it means, and it is driving me nuts. ON the other hand, if I ignored Lily everytime she threw a fit, I would not speak to her all day!

That being said, we just keep on keepin on!

 

QUOTE(sunshinetwins @ Aug 13 2008, 07:27 AM) [snapback]927979[/snapback]
Yep, I'm right there too!! Mine were such good babies...but transitioning to toddlerhood has been really tough at times.

I used to take them out on errands more but between gas prices, super hot weather and random downpours - we only go shopping about once a week. Our gymboree membership has saved my sanity. We are there 4 times a week! It's less than 5 minutes from our house. We only stay for about an hour because Breena starts to whine if we are there any longer than that. But it is a great distraction for them and me....I don't have to do as much "No-ing."

Other things that have worked for us is what I call "controlled destruction." :icon_biggrin: I set up things for them to get into....like I'll leave the tupperware cupboard open so they can pull it all out and play. Or I'll bring them up to my scrap room and let them "find" big paper scraps in a special garbage can. I keep a big basket of books in the living room - where they normally aren't allowed - and we'll go in there so they can pull out all their books. Yes, this means that I have cleaning up to do afterward....but 5 minutes of cleaning up = 30 minutes of no whining so it's totally worth it to me.

I have also discovered the Snack Trap. They LOVE this thing! We walk 3 miles every morning and they get bored, so I take the Snack Traps filled with cheerios and it seriously keeps them quiet for the whole trip. It does NOT keep the cheerios from falling out (I'm surprised we don't have a large pack of squirrels trailing us) but it keeps them happy and its no big deal to dump some cheerios out of the stroller. I will also give them these to play with at home...luckily the dog likes cheerios too!


Agree on Gymboree and snak traps!! Sadly the my kids rip off the top, which would be fine, except they then dump out the cheerios! So then they whine when they have no food. It's not environmentally friendly, but they like ziplocs and less mess.

QUOTE(ahmerl @ Aug 13 2008, 07:59 AM) [snapback]928053[/snapback]
I find this time to be trying as well. Lily says more words than Jack but her entire vocab consists of blueberry, blue, purple, that, ball, dog, duck, and water. I feel so guilty for saying this, but, if Jack does not come up with another word besides ,"ana, aana, aana, aana" I am going to lose my mind. He says it for everything, I have no idea what it means, and it is driving me nuts. ON the other hand, if I ignored Lily everytime she threw a fit, I would not speak to her all day!

That being said, we just keep on keeping on!


I find when the kids throw tantrums, they are often bored. Of course, they all get bored every 10 minutes - so it's a moving target and on-going challenge.

I'm so glad I'm not alone!!

 

Oh gosh, I'm right here with all of you ladies. My sweet lovely well behaved little toddlers have morphed almost overnight into terrors. They whine, they cling, they want to be picked up, they want to touch the stove, they want, they want, they want. I spend a lot of time redirecting and trying to convince them not to slap each other's heads (this is a new favorite activity) or climb on the couch. Getting out of the house helps a lot. We go to the zoo, the aquarium, the park, Target, and anywhere else I think it's safe for them to run around. I've also found that going to explore different rooms in the house. When the whininess hits, we head up the stairs to investigate mom and dad's bedroom. Later on, we'll see what's happening in the living room. They'll happily zip around the room getting into everything and smiling and laughing because it's new and fun. This lasts for 10 or 15 minutes until they get bored and then we start all over again.

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one going through this...

 

Oh my word! I have tears in my eyes because I have been laughing while reading all the stories that resemble my own, and because of the relief I feel about not being the only one who has "babies" who behave like this!!!! I haven't been here at TS forums since my twinkies were infants. Man -- it was hard then, but goodness sake... it's harder now! I came back because I am at my wits end with almost all of the above behavior. I can't believe I spotted this thread, straight away.

The incessant chorus of "MINE!!!" and the resulting struggle over whatever is bothersome. The 'getting into EVERYTHING' is exhausting. The general din of it all can be maddening. However, the one thing that is just out of control is the roughness of my DS toward both DD and DS-4 (who is not innocent, himself). In general, I don't believe (but will never know for sure) his intent is to be mean to his siblings -- I think most of the time he's just 'playing' or trying to engage them. He's just a brute, and with most of his roughness he seems to think it's funny, probably because of the surprised reaction it illicits from the respective victims, including myself!

Time outs totally work for his twin! All I have to say to her is, do you want a time out and 90% of the time, that extinguishes the undesirable behavior. With DS, he thinks it's a game; once I get him to the corner, he looks up at me with a Cheshire Cat grin, says, "Maaaammaaaa..." and then tries to hug me. Aside from this aggressive behavior (usually hitting people on the head with a toy; nice right?) he is a sweet, funny, loving, affectionate toddler! I've tried redirection, just removing him from the situation and re-stating we don't hit, etc. I've tried taking his favorite toy away - especially the one he is using to accost someone. NOTHING works -- I don't know what to do, and I don't want him to be a bully!

Ugghh.

Anybody else go through this hitting thing, on a serious level? He did actually give his sister a little bruise on her FACE once!

Help!!!

 

I vaguely remember at this stage that I just gave up and let them tear the house apart every single day. I even let them get in my cabinets. It preoccupied them and made them feel like they were getting to do something special. Anything to get some rest from the "constantness" of everything. I would take pictures and video of the ransackings they'd do (canned goods and boxes of food everywhere), send them to my husband with a message that we'd been robbed. Sometimes we'd leave the house without me cleaning anything up first, and I'd come home and be momentarily stunned when walking back in the door. It was that bad.

Around 18 months we dropped the morning nap and started going to the YMCA, where they have free childcare. I tell everyone it literally saved our lives. It was worth every single penny and then some. We'd spend the morning there, everyone would get a break, then be home in time for some brief playing and lunch. Then, it was (thank God) naptime. Naps for everyone.

At three years old, the whining still continues somewhat, but it's more along the lines of "Jake hurt me" and "I waannnt to waaattch Diego!!" and "No I don't want to go pee-pee."

One of my friends recently brought home her twins from the hospital, who were born at 24 weeks and are living miracles. I sent her an email that basically said "You will get through this newborn stage. And then there will be another stage. The good thing is, nothing lasts forever. And the bad thing is, nothing lasts forever. You just have to soak up the good parts and ride out the bad."

 

OMG you are not alone!!! I recently started working again and I have to say I am loving it. Don't get me wrong I love my boys and this is the most fun they have been yet but....they are wild men. We turned out dining room into a giant playroom a while back and that is the best thing we ever did. We keep them gated in there a lot of the day. We also did another round of baby proofing which involved moving everything off of any table cover outlets with duct tape (because they figured out how to pull the otlet cover out and then sit and try to put them back in) bought those strap locks for all of the drawers so they can't get into the knives, foil, plastic bags, can openers, cheese graters the list goes on and on! We have absolutely no decor in our house anymore just furniture. That has made things a lot better because then I don't have to chase them constantly and take things away and take things out of their mouths. I would take an inventory of everything that they get into and do your best to figure out a way to prevent it. That helped me soooo much. Like I said being at work 5-6 hours a day 3-4 days a week is a welcomed break.

 

QUOTE(kt7776 @ Aug 13 2008, 08:06 PM) [snapback]929152[/snapback]
"You will get through this newborn stage. And then there will be another stage. The good thing is, nothing lasts forever. And the bad thing is, nothing lasts forever. You just have to soak up the good parts and ride out the bad."



I love this! Thanks. We had such a good day today. Made me realize how hard it has been when I really just got to look at them a bit today and enjoy them.

 

QUOTE(SweetpeaG @ Aug 12 2008, 10:44 AM) [snapback]926157[/snapback]
The only way I kept my sanity was by getting the hell out of the house at LEAST once a day (sometimes twice). I would throw them in the car and run errands in the morning, then go for a walk to the park to get out the wiggles in the afternoon.


Love this part of your response!

Sanity = getting out of the house!

 

The last couple of months have definitely been the hardest for us. They are into everything if it's not bolted down (or shut) and tantrums have begun. They only say a few things at this point so I know communication is a big issue for them. It hasn't helped that both of them have gotten betwen 5-6 teeth since June and they have had diahhrea almost non-stop also. Luckily, the ped has finally found the cause for it, I can only hope they become more verbal soon. I've never been one for putting away my knick-knacks so I guess I just have to keep telling them no until they learn. Sorry to say, but I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one that thinks this stage is crazy!

 

I think we are entering this next stage you have all mentioned. I can feel the dynamics shifting again with the boys' energy level. I mentioned this in a different post, but Christopher's first official word is "danger" because John seems to be interested in only things like outlets, the tv, cords, etc. When we say "John, danger, no touch!" Christopher's right there to back us up---forget about saying mama, dada, or his sisters' names!

On that note it is fun and in looking back as much as I miss the "baby" stage it was challenging.
Lisa

 

For the first time ever, today I actually welcomed the thought of returning to work!!!!!!!!! Double molar-teething and the constant whining!!! Dh said he'd be home by 5, I said "Please hurry" and I wasn't kidding. I thought I might have to put them in their cribs and let them play so I could just breathe!!!

 

I know EXACTLY what you mean. Some of my friends/neighbors have recently had horror stories happen to their family - someone lost their baby at 20wks gestation, another friend at 17wk gestation, and one of my distant friends just had their child die from a rare blood disease at 10months old. I can not imagine the emotions and loss that these parents experience.

I am always too feeling guilty for complaining about the craziness of raising four kids at the ages of 6 and under. However, this is normal. My DH always reminds me - who is also so supportive - once again I am fortunate and take it for granted - how we can not live our lives in fear - meaning always thinking of these horrible things that can happen in the world. It is normal to be frustarted from the crazy day to day schedule of children. However, when the craziest points hit - I do try to remind myself how lucky I am to have four healthy kids, a great husband, and a great life. Sometimes it works and ... sometimes it doesn't

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!!!

 

QUOTE(girls! @ Aug 12 2008, 12:44 PM) [snapback]926272[/snapback]
y'all are scaring the snot out of me. :blink:

This scared me too!!!!! Mine are almost 13 months with no major whinning (yet), so I'm thinking this will be my life any minute!!! AWwWWW!!! :lol: