Holy crap! I'm SOOO not ready for this!

In 10 DAYS!!!
In 10 days (if I don't go sooner than that) I will have two tiny babies.
I'm so ready in so many ways, but in some huge ways, I am not.

I have no one to help me. When I go on maternity leave-yes, I am still working- DH's check will be the only money coming in. I do have some sick and vacation time saved up, but DH tells me everyday how he hopes we have babies on a friday so he can spend a few days at home with us that weekend. He WILL go to work M-F, he has to or we will drown in bills. I have a six year old who will need a ride to and from school. I can't imagine having a c-section and being up and able to drive her to and from school within days. Hopefully we can avoid a c/s but that is a whole other post. I will have no one here to help me with two new babies PLUS my 19 month old who is the most rambunctious child I've ever seen.

None of my family is responsible enough, will stress me out more than they can help and most are heavy smokers who gross me out with one whiff. My little sister was going to stay with me, but just got a new job, so I do not expect her to drop everything and come help me. I also have no one to keep my girls for me while I'm in the hospital. DH gets up and off to work too early to take our daughter to school, too late to pick her up, wouldn't be able to handle the girls at home by himself for days at a time. I'm just freaking out.

I have no close friends, family has their own issues on both sides. I just don't know what to do. My MIL is supposed to come here a few days before Christmas, by then my need for help will be dwindling, AND she stays with SIL which is FINE by me, but as soon as MIL arrives in town, SIL takes off to find out who her boyfriend is sleeping with and spy on them while she leaves her 4 kids with MIL for days at a time. I just know that when MIL comes to town, she will be bringing all of SIL's kids with her to my house to "help". All 4 of her children are under 4. No twins, just constantly pregnant.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant, but I really need some back-up here.
I'm REALLY starting to freak out. Any suggestions?

 

Hi Tasha -
that really sounds like a huge challenge! I was wondering if you have any religious groups around (churches, synagogues, etc.) that you could contact. Even if you are not a member, there are oftentimes volunteer groups that would be happy to help out in these kinds of situations - even if it's just dropping off meals or coming over and doing the laundry. You could call their office and describe your situation.
I wish you strength to get through this time - I really hope you find people (neighbors/other parents) that can pitch in...
Rachel

 

I'm sorry to hear you are facing such a dilema. Is there a twins club near by? I wonder if they have resources? I hope you are able to find a solution.
Good luck, try not to stress too much, it's not good for you or the babies.

Congratulations on your upcoming birth.

 

I'm sorry you're so stressed and have so much to worry about. It sad that you can't rely on your family for help. Does your little girl have any friends whose parents could take her to school? Or a reliable neighbour? Are there any teenage girls nearby who you could hire for a couple of hours after school to give you a hand? You could put up a notice at a local church or highschool. I hope you manage to sort something out. Good luck.

 

I also recc. church groups (even if you dont belong--call and ask if they have a volunteer group and if they could help your family). Could you send a note to your older daughters teacher and ask if anyone in the class can 'car pool' to/from schoo? neighboors? local twin groups? moms groups?

I would also ask at the hospital. They have resource to 'help' groups more than your would know. They may have an idea for some transitions since I am sure they have worked with families in similiar situations.

Lots of HUGS!!!


KC

 

Look into any STD (Short Term Disability) your state offers. From what I read, you may be able to collect that while you are on maternity leave. Most states offer something, at least.
Look at your pay stubs. If there is a deduction for disability, you can collect.
HTH
See you in the First year soon!

 

Oh, I can sympathize!! What alot to think about. First of all, Even if you don't have a c-section, you still don't need to be driving around right away. Ask around at your 19 mo's school for someone who can pick her up drop her off for at least 2 weeks (a month for c-section). You may offer to return the favor or pay them gas money once you are back at work. Also maybe one of the parents could care for your older child during your hospital stay like after school until DH gets off work.

I had the same misgivings about my family before my twins came, but I was surprised how they really did come through for me. I made a big point about no smoking around me or the babies when they came to help me around the house, and you will need help!!! I have major trust issues with my family, so I wouldn't leave my older kids alone with them, but they were helping me with dishes, laundry dinner and entertaining my OC while I rested and cared for the twins. If my family had to drive DD or DS somewhere, We all loaded up, bc I didn't want them alone with my kids. It actually helped my shakey relationships with family and helped build some trust!!!

 

First of all - congratulations for only having 10 more days left :yahoo:!!

Figuring out how everything will work out is very stressfull, but I agree with all the other posts. Ask around at your DD school about rides. I would hope that another mother would be understanding of your situation & want to help out.
Also the twins club/church is a great idea. I think people would be surprised at the level of support out there available.

I had so many of the same fears as you, and with time & patience everything seemed to work itself out. Hang in there & just do the best that you can :hug:

 

Tasha, :hug: You have a lot to worry about!! I'm sorry to hear about that! :grouphug:

 

I am sorry to hear about your situation. have you tried looking for a mothers of multiples clubs near you? they help in those areas of moms who need it most! sounds like you do! search it on google for your area and see what you can find. good luck!

 

WOW! you really do have a lot going on. I can totally sympathize. I had two older ones to worry about when I went into the hospital too.. I think that is the main thing I would focus on. . .you definitely need to find someone who can take oldest DD back and forth to school, and someone to stay w/ both children until DH gets home. I like the idea of possibly getting one of her teachers to ask for volunteers from the parents or if you have a trust worthy neighbor she can stay w/ in the evening.

Once you are home, it will all come to you. Even if you dont have help, you will work out something that works for you, even if only temporary. Dont stress over every little thing, or if you cant do the laundry every single day, or if you cant wash dishes as soon as they are dirtied... TRY the best you can to sleep when the babies sleep, at least twice a day, and get things done if they sleep more than that. I think that is by far the hardest advice to follow.. sleep when the babies sleep. .b/c being a pretty clean woman, you dont want to let your house fall apart, and you would rather catch up on things than sleep...At least thats what I did.

I really hope you get through it all in good spirits and you find someone who can really help you out. GL